Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!

Panel Round Two

More questions for the panel: Sweat Tech, Chicken Rights Memorial and Breaking Broken News.

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CARL KASELL: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!, the NPR news quiz. I'm Carl Kasell. We're playing this week with Maz Jobrani, Brian Brian Babylon and Kyrie O'Connor. And here again is your host, at the Comerica Theatre in Phoenix, Arizona, Peter Sagal.

(APPLAUSE)

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Carl. In just a minute, Carl reports for spring training with the Arizona Rhymondbacks. It's the Listener Limerick challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Brian, you've heard of facial recognition software, and thumb print scanners. Well, researchers in Spain have developed a new kind of software that will ID you by your what?

BRIAN BABYLON: The Spaniards came up with this?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Don't obsess about the Spaniards.

BABYLON: All right, give me a slight hint. And I guarantee you I'd get it.

SAGAL: Well, our criminals and terrorists will try to avoid this technician by bathing frequently.

BABYLON: Oh. I've - body odor.

SAGAL: Yes, indeed, your body odor.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: People are, like, not excited.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Researchers in Spain believe we'll soon be officially identified by our body odor. Apparently, our B.O. is consistent approximately 85 percent of the time. Meaning, it's almost as unique to us as our fingerprints. Soon, we'll gain access to secured areas just by standing next to a sensor in an elevator on a hot day.

(LAUGHTER)

MAZ JOBRANI: So what you got to, like, walk up and lift your underarm and just...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Yeah, pretty much.

BABYLON: Well, I'm going to give you another quick Brian Babylon tip. I've been known for giving these on this program. What gets rid of all B.O. smells is Febreeze and Drakkar Noir.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: OK. Explain to me how you apply these and in what situations.

BABYLON: What do you mean? You spray them both on you at the same time.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: You're telling me that you get up in the morning and to keep yourself from smelling unpleasantly, you spray yourself with Febreeze...

BABYLON: And Drakkar Noir.

SAGAL: And then Drakkar Noir.

BABYLON: Those two things combined make a whole new scent. It doesn't - doesn't smell like Drakkar and doesn't smell like Febreeze.

(LAUGHTER)

BABYLON: It's just a new thing.

JOBRANI: It's like Febrar Noir.

BABYLON: Uh-huh.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: What does it smell like?

BABYLON: Optimism.

(LAUGHTER)

JOBRANI: Hope.

BABYLON: Hope, a whole new day.

JOBRANI: Success.

BABYLON: Success.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Yeah. Kyrie, the Georgia Department of Transportation this week received a petition asking for a roadside memorial in honor of what?

KYRIE O'CONNOR: Let me see. It's Georgia and it's roadside, so something died.

SAGAL: Yes, this is one of these memorials. But this time it's in honor of what?

O'CONNOR: It - does it have feathers?

SAGAL: Yes, it does.

O'CONNOR: Is it something like a duck?

SAGAL: Much like a duck but not quite.

O'CONNOR: Not quite like a duck.

SAGAL: Well, I'll give you a hint. We may not know why he crossed the road, but we do know he paid the ultimate price.

O'CONNOR: A chicken.

SAGAL: Yes, chickens, in fact.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

O'CONNOR: A chicken.

SAGAL: People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, a group dedicated to making animals more equal to humans by making us all dumber, filed the petition after a truck hauling chickens crashed at that spot. And while the accident was unfortunate for the chickens, let's face it, they were in a truck headed for a slaughter house. They were going to die anyway.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The real tragedy is that no one got to fry and eat them afterwards.

(LAUGHTER)

JOBRANI: The Ethical - I mean, that's good. It's good to go and do the ethical treatment. But this people...

BABYLON: They go too far.

JOBRANI: Yeah, come one. We're going to do memorial for chickens?

SAGAL: Not to mention, like, what do they want to do? They want to build a statue of a chicken on the side of the road. You see a statue of a chicken as you're driving on the road, what do you want to do? Stop and eat a chicken.

BABYLON: I want to eat a chicken.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: People are going to go up to the statue of the chicken, they're going to start shouting their order into the chicken.

(LAUGHTER)

O'CONNOR: I don't think you people spend enough time with chickens.

BABYLON: You do?

O'CONNOR: I do. I spend a lot of time with chickens.

BABYLON: Now, do they have good personalities? Are they...

O'CONNOR: They do. Well, some of them have good, some have terrible personalities.

SAGAL: Is that how you decide who you're going to eat?

(LAUGHTER)

BABYLON: It's like, you, with all the attitude, you're going to be delicious.

O'CONNOR: I don't eat any of them. They're my friends.

SAGAL: Do you eat chicken that you don't know?

O'CONNOR: Yes.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Kyrie, if you watch any news channel, you've seen a bold breaking news banner at least three times an hour. Readers in the U.K. experienced that same thrill this week when a breaking news story from Wales reported that a woman had done what?

O'CONNOR: Oh, dear. Wales, well, it could be - have something to do with coal mining or singing.

SAGAL: No, no.

(LAUGHTER)

O'CONNOR: No? Richard Burton?

SAGAL: No.

O'CONNOR: No.

SAGAL: It's unclear if the woman in question knitted it herself all those years ago.

O'CONNOR: Breaking news about something that a woman knitted or possibly didn't.

SAGAL: Yes.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: But definitely had. She had acquired it somehow. What sort of things do you knit?

O'CONNOR: You knit a sweater?

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: A sweater. They reported and it's a breaking news item that a woman had worn the same cardigan for 54 years.

BABYLON: Like in a row? In a row?

SAGAL: The South Wales Evening Post sent out a breaking news tweet: Woman wears same fantastic-looking cardigan for 54 years. So in case you were wondering why NBC cut away from the Olympics to follow an old woman in Swansea, now you know.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The original story went on to note that the sweater, quote, "has never lost a button, is lovely," and is, quote, "cozy and warm." Although that remains unconfirmed at this time.

(LAUGHTER)

BABYLON: You know what, that just goes to show they don't make stuff the way they used to.

(LAUGHTER)

BABYLON: In this age of just sweatshops and Walmarts and stuff...

SAGAL: So you're impressed by this, Brian? So this is a breaking news for you?

BABYLON: Well, no, no, I'm trying to do a positive spin because that's how people turn into Yetis, man.

(LAUGHTER)

BABYLON: Like the sweater does, you know, like, graft it on your body and then grows and then you turn into a Yeti, yo.

JOBRANI: But she took it off. I mean, she wasn't sleeping in it.

SAGAL: No, it was actually, in fact, reading the story closely, she did not wear the sweater consistently for 54 years. She had it and occasionally wore it for 54 years.

BABYLON: Oh.

JOBRANI: So who's this reporter and why are they reporting?

(LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

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