Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!

Panel Round Two

More questions for the panel: The First Pants, A Knapsack for One Nap Stands, Hornythology.

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CARL KASELL: From NPR and WBEZ-Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Carl Kasell. We're playing this week with Bobcat Goldthwait, Brian Babylon and Amy Dickinson. And here again is your host, at the Miller Auditorium in Kalamazoo, Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Thank you so much. Thank you very much. In just a minute, Carl picks his beloved North Caro-rhyma Tar Heels to make it to the Rhymal Four...it's the listener limerick challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Amy, a week after his approval rating hit an all time low, President Obama lashed out against those who criticized what?

AMY DICKINSON: Does it involve, like, his dancing...

SAGAL: No.

DICKINSON: ...something personal about him?

SAGAL: Yeah, something personal about him. He's tired of the criticism.

DICKINSON: About his voice, his...

SAGAL: No.

DICKINSON: Geez, his ears?

SAGAL: I'll give you a hint. It's like Jordache is the new Bengazi.

DICKINSON: Oh, his mom jeans?

SAGAL: His mom jeans.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In fact, he says they're not mom jeans. He's been repeatedly criticized, President Obama has, for his jeans, the mom jeans he wore to the all-star game, the jeans he wore in the picture when he was on the phone with Vladimir Putin a little while ago, the jeggings he wore at the State of the Union. But he says quote, "The truth is, generally I look very sharp in jeans," which is exactly how a guy who wears mom jeans would put it.

BRIAN BABYLON: You know the problem?

SAGAL: Yeah.

BABYLON: People don't know this man. He's tall but he has, like, kind of hips. See a little hip?

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: You're really helping - you're helping him, Brian.

SAGAL: What do you mean by hips? What do you mean?

BABYLON: No, you know, he has, like, I'm not saying he has lady hips but...

SAGAL: Are you saying the president has a booty, is that what you're saying?

BABYLON: No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. A booty isn't hips. A booty goes back, hips go out.

(LAUGHTER)

BABYLON: Hips go that a way, booty goes that a way.

SAGAL: Right.

BABYLON: Yeah, he's...

SAGAL: So you're saying he has childbearing hips, the president does.

BABYLON: Kind of, yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: See, this whole criticism of the president wearing jeans, it's ridiculous. All presidents have worn jeans. They should have a museum like they do of, like, the first lady's dresses in the Smithsonian. They should have the president's jeans. You could have Bush's Wranglers he wore at his ranch...

BABYLON: Now hold on. Now, that's who could wear some damn jeans.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Who?

DICKINSON: Bush.

BABYLON: W.

DICKINSON: Yeah, no hips on him.

BABYLON: W. wore some jeans like woo-woo. You might not like his policy but he rocked them jeans.

(LAUGHTER)

KASELL: Brian, Brian, a new company has created a way to help women get home more easily and comfortably after a rash late night adventure...They've created what?

BABYLON: The Brian Babylon app?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: You wish.

BABYLON: Give me a slight hint.

SAGAL: I'll say it's a kit to help you avoid something that is common among - or at least legendarily a problem among single women who end up out on the town. You know what I'm talking about?

BABYLON: A machine gun?

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: Like isn't it about the Walk-of-Shame?

SAGAL: It is in fact the Walk-of-Shame Kit.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Thank you. Amy gets the point.

DICKINSON: Oh, I'm sorry.

BABYLON: What, she gets my point?

DICKINSON: No.

BABYLON: Yeah, how does that work?

(LAUGHTER)

BABYLON: Wait a minute. She gets my point? What is that?

DICKINSON: I don't want his point. I'm sorry, I don't want his point.

SAGAL: Then you shouldn't have said something.

BOBCAT GOLDTHWAIT: I'll take it.

BABYLON: What are we doing? There's no rules here? When did this become the Outback Steakhouse?

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: I was trying to help. I didn't want to - I didn't want to take his point.

SAGAL: All right. I'll turn to Carl. Carl, who should get the point?

DICKINSON: Amy doesn't want it, so we give to Brian.

SAGAL: All right.

BABYLON: Thank you, Carl. Thank you.

SAGAL: So here's the thing, if you bring along - when you head out to the clubs for the evening, if you just bring your special Walk of Shame Kit, you'll have with you a backpack to carry it, which will look great with your little black dress, wipes, a pre-pasted toothbrush, a little toothpaste on it. It's got a dress, flip-flops and sunglasses. That's for those of you who have a one night stand with Gilligan on his island.

(LAUGHTER)

GOLDTHWAIT: I would be scared...

DICKINSON: Isn't that bad luck?

GOLDTHWAIT: ...if you found a woman and you look at their bag and she's like, why does she have a disguise?

SAGAL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

GOLDTHWAIT: How ashamed is she of me?

SAGAL: Brian...

BABYLON: Yeah.

SAGAL: ...you're a single guy, right?

BABYLON: Yeah, some...

SAGAL: And single men know dating is hard, which is why a recent study reveals that the male peacock must resort to doing what to score a date?

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: Christian Mingle?

BABYLON: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

BABYLON: All right, give me a hint.

SAGAL: I'll give you a hint. Well, the other peacocks are looking at him and going, I'll have what he's having.

BABYLON: They walk around making, like, orgasm noises?

SAGAL: Exactly right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: They fake sex noises.

(APPLAUSE)

GOLDTHWAIT: Well, wait a second, wouldn't that make the female peacock go, like, well, he doesn't need me?

SAGAL: Well, the peacock, as we know, really runs the whole gamut in seduction. On one hand, his beautiful, iridescent plumage, and if that doesn't work, humping noise. Scientists have known that peacocks make these loud vocalizations to attract peahens. But they're just...

BABYLON: Oh, hold on.

SAGAL: That's what they're called peacocks, peahens. When they make that noise they're giving a little iTunes-style 30-second preview, right...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...of the full on number to come.

BABYLON: Like this could be you.

SAGAL: This could be you.

BABYLON: Once again I'm going to go back. I get mad sometimes when you have these scientists and they, like, get into, like, animal stuff like they know what an animal's doing or thinking. Like, how do you know that peacocks - you know, he could just be like pleasure his own self, not trying to, like, date somebody. Like, hey, I'm doing me over here. If somebody hears it and they want to mate me, cool. But I'm over here doing my own sex thing.

(LAUGHTER)

BABYLON: Making my own sex noises for me, for myself.

DICKINSON: Brian, it sounds like you have said that before. I...

(LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

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