Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!

Panel Round Two

More questions for the panel: Spa-shank Redemption, Kittenlodeon, A Farewell to Arms.

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CARL KASELL, BYLINE: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Carl Kasell. We're playing this week with Jessi Klein, Tom Bodett and Brian Babylon. And here again is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Carl.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: In just a minute, Carl admits that his favorite member of the Brat Pack was Limricky Schreoder.

(LAUGHTER)

BRIAN BABYLON: (Laughing).

SAGAL: It's the listener limerick challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924.

Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Tom, life in South Korea is stressful. Citizens there work some of the longest hours in the world. While people there have a new way to relax, it's a spa with what theme?

TOM BODETT: I just read about a restaurant they had over there that had you eating with stuffed dinosaurs or something.

SAGAL: Yeah, that's not this.

BODETT: No.

(LAUGHTER)

JESSI KLEIN: Tom, that sounds more like a dream you had.

BODETT: But let's start that. A Mesozoic-era theme.

SAGAL: I'll give you a hint. Man, I got 10 years of hard yoga, but I'm eligible for parole in April.

BODETT: Oh, a prison theme.

SAGAL: A prison-themed spa.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

BODETT: Well, that would be a nice little cheap startup, wouldn't it?

SAGAL: Wouldn't it? Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The idea is that the prison environment forces isolation and, in turn, inward meditative thinking.

BABYLON: And shanking.

SAGAL: Yes.

(LAUGHTER)

KLEIN: Yeah. Would you like a 90 minute shank?

SAGAL: Yeah.

BODETT: Right.

(LAUGHTER)

KLEIN: Can you get - can you get executed at the spa?

(LAUGHTER)

BODETT: That's the premium package.

SAGAL: Oh, no.

BODETT: Right.

SAGAL: Brian, there's all sorts of ridiculous TV channels out there - the Golf Channel, that channel that just shows the burning fireplace, CNN. Well...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...Now there's a new network that is all what all the time?

BABYLON: What I want it to be is puppies.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: You're going to be very close but a little disappointed.

BABYLON: Kittens?

SAGAL: Yes, cats all the time.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

BABYLON: (Yelling) Oh, no.

(LAUGHTER)

BABYLON: (Yelling) No.

KLEIN: Oh, so close.

SAGAL: I know what you're thinking. Don't cat people already have the Lifetime network?

BABYLON: They have everything. I just - I just - dog people, we need to unite. I think...

(APPLAUSE)

BABYLON: ...It's come to the point. Cats with their little attitudes. I mean, they're - listen, I like kittens, too. Like, I'm - I don't like kittens as much as puppies, but I'm cool with kittens 'cause they - you know, they're cute. When they get to cat level, they get to, like, teenagers and attitude problems.

BODETT: Yeah, dogs just always stay goofy. I mean, they just...

BABYLON: Yeah.

BODETT: Goofy for life.

BABYLON: Like, hey, bro.

BODETT: Yeah.

BABYLON: And a dog - if a dog use a bathroom inside your house, a dog is shameful.

BODETT: Right.

BABYLON: You ever seen the shame in a dog's eyes if they use...

KLEIN: (Laughing).

BODETT: Oh, yeah.

BABYLON: But a cat doesn't care.

BODETT: No. Oh, it'll do it at you, you know.

BABYLON: Yeah. Like, aye, I'm over here doing something in your house, meow.

BODETT: Yeah, look at that.

BABYLON: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

KLEIN: That's actually true. I - when I was in college, one of my roommates lived in a house. And one of my roommates had this cat that I did not like. And then one day we had gone to the store to get a bath mat, which was, like, a big deal 'cause we were in college...

BODETT: Right.

KLEIN: ...And you know the effort it takes to get it together that way. And I was talking about how much I didn't like the cat, and the cat was there. And the cat peed on the bath mat in front of me.

(LAUGHTER)

BABYLON: Like I head what you said, Jessi.

KLEIN: Like I heard what you said [bleep].

BABYLON: Yeah.

KLEIN: I was like, wow, you're the worst cat. But you're not the worst cat. There are so many worse than you. That's what cats are.

BABYLON: Cats are the worst.

SAGAL: Well, you can see them all on the Cat Network. Hoarders everywhere will be moving that stack of newspapers from out in front of the TV.

(LAUGHTER)

BABYLON: One more thing about cats I don't like.

SAGAL: Please, Brian. Please.

BABYLON: It is that Fancy Feast commercial, OK. Who feeds their cat in a Waterford crystal goblet? Who feeds - puts cat food in a crystal goblet?

KLEIN: I think more people than you want to know.

BODETT: Yeah.

SAGAL: Yeah.

BABYLON: And I don't want to know that.

(LAUGHTER)

BODETT: Somebody does. Somebody does.

BABYLON: I don't want to know that.

SAGAL: Jessi, everybody's moving from books to e-readers. So the publishing companies are taking their older books and they're scanning them into electronic form as fast as possible. Well, this week, one book blogger noticed a flaw in the scanning software. In many cases, in many older books, the word arms - A-R-M-S - arms is being read as what by the scanning software?

KLEIN: Well, I'm just thinking of like the words that my iPhone always autocorrects incorrectly. I have been trying to teach my iPhone how to say oye for, like, five years. And it always goes to it. And I'm like Jew up a little bit iPhone, I'm trying to say oye.

(LAUGHTER)

KLEIN: Arms - so I would assume it's, like, a similar problem. It becomes like a similar word. So, like...

SAGAL: Well, it's a similar word. It's four letters. Starts with A.

KLEIN: Oh, it does start with A.

SAGAL: Yes, but it's not that word.

KLEIN: Four letters

SAGAL: It leads to some interesting confusion.

KLEIN: Four letters.

SAGAL: Yeah.

KLEIN: Ends with S?

SAGAL: Yes.

KLEIN: Ass with three Ss?

(LAUGHTER)

KLEIN: I'm totally sincere.

SAGAL: I will give it to you. The word is anus.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Right. So...

(LAUGHTER)

KLEIN: Oh, right. OK.

SAGAL: So there's this book blogger. Her name is Sarah Wendell. And she was reading an e-book, and she was reading an older romance novel of some kind. And she read this line.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: She read this line, "Mrs. Tipton went over to him and put her anus around his neck."

(LAUGHTER)

KLEIN: That is still pretty romantic.

BODETT: It is.

BABYLON: It is.

BODETT: A farewell to anus would be an entirely different book.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

KLEIN: "50 Shades Of Grey" could suddenly become, like, such a huggy book.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

BABYLON: (Laughing) Yeah.

KLEIN: I don't know. Not that I've read it, not nary a word.

BABYLON: No.

KLEIN: Don't even know what it is.

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