Bluff The Listener
BILL KURTIS, BYLINE: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME, the NPR News quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We're playing this week with Roy Blount, Charlie Pierce, Kyrie O'Connor. And here, again, is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thank you, Bill.
SAGAL: Right now, it is time for the WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game on the air. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME.
TIM MURTAUGH: Hello.
SAGAL: Hi, who's this?
MURTAUGH: My name is Tim.
SAGAL: Tim, where are you calling from?
SAGAL: Willamette, not far from here in Chicago. What do you do there?
MURTAUGH: I'm a teacher.
SAGAL: Oh, I see. What do you teach?
MURTAUGH: Sixth through 8th grade social studies.
SAGAL: Oh, my God. I have nothing but the utmost respect for anyone who teaches middle school.
MURTAUGH: Why thank you. I also do voiceovers, Peter.
SAGAL: Do you now?
MURTAUGH: Yes I do.
SAGAL: I never would have guessed. Well, welcome to the show, Tim. You're going to play the game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Tim's topic?
KURTIS: I'll be there for you.
MURTAUGH: Oh, no.
SAGAL: Oh, yes.
SAGAL: Rachel, Ross, Monica, Chandler, Phoebe and Joey were once the biggest names on TV. One even inspired a global hairstyle craze known as The Schwimmer. But where are they now? Our panelists are going to read you three stories about a "Friends" star making a major comeback in the news this week. Guess the real story, and you'll win the voice of scorekeeper emeritus Carl Kasell on your voicemail. Ready to play?
MURTAUGH: I certaily am.
SAGAL: All right. First, let's hear from Roy Blount Jr.
ROY BLOUNT JR.: In early childhood, Matthew Perry lost the tip of his right middle finger. Until now, he has spoken about it only jokingly. Said it means he can never quite fully flip anyone off. That's what you'd expect from the wisecracking character Perry played on "Friends." But people have seen advance copies of his forthcoming memoir, "Here's The Rest Of Me." Say the missing digital bit has played such a large role in Perry's inner life that he is out to raise awareness of the plight of the fingertip deprived.
BLOUNT: Ever since my little boy fingertip was crushed by my grandfather's car door, Perry writes, I have known that I was incomplete.
BLOUNT: A fingertip may seem a small thing, but no matter how much talent you have in the rest of you, your fingertips, after all, are what you touch people with.
SAGAL: Matthew Perry raising awareness for people missing fingertips. Your next story about somebody living in a world without "Friends" - well, the TV show, "Friends" - comes from Kyrie O'Connor.
O'CONNOR: Up to now, actress Jennifer Aniston has been known for two things - a '90s haircut named for her "Friends" character Rachel, and roughly 7,000 gossip magazine covers screaming that she's pregnant.
O'CONNOR: Now there's a third thing. Aniston is a spokeswoman and investor in Living Proof, a beauty company. Living Proof's newest product is a clear adhesive called Neotensil, A.K.A. Spanx for the face. When applied, it squashes loose skin the way Spanx mashes in your jiggly thighs.
O'CONNOR: Aniston joined up with Living Proof in 2012 memorably asking, is this real life? If Living Proof comes out with baby products, buy stock in a gossip magazine.
SAGAL: Jennifer Aniston presenting to the world Spanx for the face - pieces of plastic that squeeze your face to a pleasing shape. Your last story about a friend trying to survive in this cold "Friend"-less world comes from Charlie Pierce.
CHARLIE PIERCE: Having left central park and that sappy theme song far behind, "Friends" star Matt LeBlanc has moved on to one of the jobs he had before briefly becoming a television icon. He's opened a camp in New Hampshire for children to learn marksmanship. The camp, called shooting LeBlanc's, was an idea...
PIERCE: Was an idea LeBlanc had while starting working a range in Newton, Mass. when he was a student at Newton North High School. If the first camp is successful, LeBlanc plans to open three more in New Hampshire and one in Vermont.
SAGAL: All right. Here we have your choices. One of these stories is a true story about a former cast member of "Friends." Is it, from Roy Blount Jr., how Matthew Perry is now raising awareness of those who, like him, are missing a fingertip, from Kyrie O'Connor, for Jennifer Aniston present Spanx for your face - plastic pieces that you put on your face that make you look pretty like she is - or from Charlie Pierce, Matt LeBlanc opening Shooting LeBlancs, a riflery cramp for underprivileged kids? Which of these is the real story of a former "Friend"?
MURTAUGH: Well, Peter, I think my finger once got caught in a car door so I'm going to go with Roy's story.
MURTAUGH: Yes. It really did. It was outside Bozo's Circus, strangely enough.
SAGAL: Oh, not strangely enough at all. That - so many needless amputations happen at Bozo's.
SAGAL: So you're saying that because of your sympathy for the fingertip-less, you're going to choose Matthew Perry - Roy's story of Matthew Perry sort of coming out as someone with only nine fingertips?
MURTAUGH: That's the one.
SAGAL: Well, to find out the correct answer, we spoke to someone familiar with this story.
COLLEEN LEAHEY: So this product is basically Spanx for your face.
LEAHEY: It takes your under-eye bags and it pulls them back into place.
SAGAL: That was Colleen Leahey from Fortune Magazine talking about Jennifer Aniston's new face Spanx. I'm afraid, Tim, that you were fooled by Roy's very touching story, if you will...
SAGAL: ...About a missing fingertip. You did not win. You earned a point for Roy, though, which I think he deserves. And we thank you so much for playing.
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