Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!

Panel Round Two

More questions for the panel: OMG FBI, Osama Ken Laden, Eau No.

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BILL KURTIS, BYLINE: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME the NPR News quiz. I'm anchorman Bill Kurtis. We're playing this week with Maz Jobrani, Kyrie O'Connor and P.J. O'Rourke. And here again is your host at the Overture Center for the Arts in Madison, Wisconsin, Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Bill. Thanks everybody.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: In just a minute, Bill drops a flaming bag of rhymes right on your doorstep in our listener limerick challenge. If you would like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Maz, NIFOC BOGSAT DILLIGAD. According to the FBI, those are examples of commonly used what?

MAZ JOBRANI: Those are Internet - some sort of Internet name.

SAGAL: Yeah. They're Internet - they're things you find on the Internet. They are...

JOBRANI: Abbreviations.

SAGAL: Yeah. Acronyms.

JOBRANI: Acronym. Acronym.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Internet acronyms according to the FBI. For example, according to the FBI, NIFOC - N-I-F-O-C - means naked in front of the computer.

(LAUGHTER)

JOBRANI: Wow.

SAGAL: You know this. You're young people. You talk this way all the time. BOGSAT is bunch of guys sitting around talking. And DILLIGAD is do I look like I give a damn?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Is all from a secret Internet glossary that the FBI has compiled to keep track of bad guys online. You run those words through the translator and to get a bunch of naked guys sitting around talking in front of a computer not giving a damn?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: These are all from a secret Internet glossary the FBI has compiled to keep track of what bad guys are doing online. You run those words through the translator, you get a bunch of naked guys sitting around talking in front of a computer not giving a damn.

(LAUGHTER)

O'CONNOR: I think the FBI has been had.

SAGAL: You think so?

O'CONNOR: They're are kids just typing things in.

SAGAL: Well, this is the thing. The Freedom of Information Act got this document away from the FBI. It's a secret glossary that they compiled as they're tracking bad guys on the Internet. Here are some other acronyms that the FBI thinks that we are all using all the time. Y-K-W-R-G-M-G - you know what really grinds my gears?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And this is my favorite - P-M-Y-M-H-M-M-F-S-W-G-A-D - which stands for pardon me you must have mistaken me for someone who gives a damn.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: That one, in common use, has been replaced by a much shorter acronym - FU.

(LAUGHTER)

O'ROURKE: Well, Peter, all I can really say is WTF.

SAGAL: I know. That's all we got.

O'ROURKE: When you read those originally when you were asking the question to Maz, I thought, God...

SAGAL: NIFOC, BOGSAT and DILLIGAD.

O'ROURKE: Yeah. I ordered that in this Greek restaurant in Athens.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: You know what's fun is when you order the BOGSAT, they bring it to you on fire.

(LAUGHTER)

O'ROURKE: With it's head still attached.

SAGAL: It's delicious, but terrifying.

JOBRANI: What saddens me is NIFOC - naked in front of the computer - I was like, either I'm old or it's just 'cause I'm married. I've never used NIFOC.

O'CONNOR: Trust me, anyone who uses it, you don't want to see.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Kyrie, the Washington Post reported this week that the CIA once considered fighting Osama bin Ladin with what secret weapon?

O'CONNOR: Was it a drone-ish thing?

SAGAL: It was not a drone-ish thing. It's like Jihadi Barbi.

JOBRANI: Oh, no.

(LAUGHTER)

O'CONNOR: Fighting him with poison dollies?

SAGAL: The answer is dolls, action figures.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The problem was back, you know - back in the 2000's - convince young Afghans to reject bin Laden. This sounds like a job for G.I. Joe. So the CIA hired the guy who invented G.I. Joe and commissioned, from him, an Osama bin Laden action figure. But the trick was when little Afghan kids started playing with it, the head would melt and reveal a devil face. And this, according to the CIA, would turn kids away from bin Laden and his creed. The CIA scrapped it when they tried it out, and the kids thought it was really cool. It was like, oh, devil face.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Maz, a landmark moment in telecommunications this week. A group of Harvard scientists successfully transmitted the first ever transatlantic what?

JOBRANI: First ever transatlantic - give me a hint.

SAGAL: Well, when a text message is just not enough to adequately convey what it's like on the subway in the summertime...

JOBRANI: A picture?

SAGAL: Not a picture.

JOBRANI: A video?

SAGAL: Not a video.

JOBRANI: An actual thing? Like they transmit - like they sent a hamster over or something?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No, they didn't - no. Well, I mean, think about it this way - you mentioned a picture. That's sight. It's not a sound.

JOBRANI: Oh, smell?

SAGAL: Yes, smell.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The first scent transmitted across the Atlantic.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: In 1876, the first phone call. Alexander Graham Bell said, Mr. Watson, come here. I want you. One hundred and thirty-eight years later, we hear can somebody open a window?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The technology uses an iPhone peripheral filled with odor-producing chemicals. While the hardware has yet to be released thousands of people, though, are already successfully blaming their phones.

(LAUGHTER

JOBRANI: So you input the smell on this end, and it comes out the other end?

SAGAL: Well, the idea is you say...

O'CONNOR: Just like a person.

O'ROURKE: So to speak.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The idea is that the phone is hooked up to a little device that can emit smells. And you send a message to the phone with the device saying I would like it to emit the smell of champagne or roses or whatever. And it goes beep, beep, beep. And it comes up with the right formula and goes puff, puff, puff. And the person standing next to it can smell whatever smell you sent. These guys say...

O'ROURKE: What happens if you butt dial this thing?

SAGAL: That's a problem.

(LAUGHTER)

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