Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!

Panel Round Two

More questions for the panel: It's Not You, It's Me and My Interest Rates; I look Delicious; Toxic Dump Site; Born Again.

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BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ in Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME, the NPR News quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We're playing this week with Luke Burbank, Shelby Fero, and Roxanne Roberts. And here again is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Bill.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: In just a minute, Bill mixes up some rhyme dressing and pours it on a wild limerick salad. It's the Listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924.

Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Shelby, members of Parliament over in Britain have been highly critical of the Bank of England in recent weeks. But like many things in economics, these issues are difficult to understand. So to put it in language everybody can grasp, one MP said the Bank of England is just like a what?

SHELBY FERO: Can I have a hint?

SAGAL: You're understanding how this game works very quickly. I like that.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Well, the bank never remembers our anniversary. It won't talk about its emotions. And it keeps looking at friends...

FERO: Oh, like a bad marriage.

SAGAL: Close. A bad boyfriend.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

FERO: Oh.

SAGAL: A member of Parliament got on the floor. His name is Pat McFadden. He said, quote, "We've had a lot of different singles for the Bank of England. The bank's behaving like an unreliable boyfriend, one day hot, one day cold. And we're left not knowing where they stand." Now we don't want to get into the specifics because that's planet monies boring job.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: But it does seem like Mr. McFadden might have just gone through a bad breakup, especially when he added, you said you loved me, Bank of England.

FERO: That's a weird analogy to be making a front of what are potentially all your fellow Parliament government members. You know what I mean?

SAGAL: Yes.

FERO: Like, if you turn around, like, Stacy knows what I'm talking about, doesn't she?

LUKE BURBANK: What do you think the chances are that there's somebody in the House of Lords who's named Stacy?

SAGAL: Lady Stacy.

KURTIS: (Laughing).

SAGAL: Luke, New York state legislatures have passed a bill banning citizens from taking selfies next to what? Somewhat dangerous answer.

BURBANK: Oh. Oh.

SAGAL: Potentially a hungry answer.

(LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: A dangerous and hungry? Oh, is it next to, like, the lions at the zoo?

SAGAL: The lions or...

BURBANK: Or the tigers?

SAGAL: Yes, tigers.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

BURBANK: What about the bears?

SAGAL: Bears are actually OK.

BURBANK: Oh, OK.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Apparently selfies taken with tigers have become a big trend on dating sites like OkCupid and Bleeding Stump Date.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Yes. And New York state wants to end the practice before somebody gets hurt. Good for them, I guess. But people trying to take selfies with tigers seems like a problem that will eventually solve itself.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: See, traveling circuses have been going around and offering people the chance to pay to have their picture taken, or selfie, with these cats. It's great for showing people, this is what I looked like back when I had a face.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Now, the tiger pics have gotten popular on these dating site because they say, hey, I'm a little bit dangerous. I hang with tigers. Now that they're outlawed, people are punching up their profiles with oncoming train selfies and look at this disgusting person I recently woke up next to selfies.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Look, it's been a tough week for the environmental protection agency. First the Supreme Court issued a decision limiting somewhat the agency's authority. And if that wasn't enough, EPA employees received a memo asking them to stop doing what?

BURBANK: Taking selfies with the protected tigers?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No. I cannot believe I'm going to give you this hint, but here it is. This is the kind of thing we expect more from the National Endowment for the Sharts.

(LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: They are using the - some bathrooms they're not supposed to use?

SAGAL: They're actually using the hallway instead of the bathroom, at least in one. Oh...

ROXANNE ROBERTS: What?

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This is true. The EPA was so...

ROBERTS: Wait.

SAGAL: Yes, give him the bell, please. Thank you. This week, an administrator in Denver was forced to officially reprimand employees about an incident involving a hallway used by special agent number two.

(LAUGHTER)

ROBERTS: Oh, Peter.

SAGAL: I know which EPA building I'm not going in.

(LAUGHTER)

ROBERTS: I'm thinking it's like a disgruntled employee, 'cause every once in a blue moon, if my cats get mad at me...

(LAUGHTER)

ROBERTS: ...They express their displeasure. And - and I hadn't thought about it in human terms.

SAGAL: There you go, see. Shelby, 22 firefighters in the German city of Tubingen were called in to rescue an American exchange student who got stuck in a what?

FERO: Oh. Oh, is it a sex thing?

SAGAL: It is.

ROBERTS: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

FERO: Girl or boy?

SAGAL: Girl.

FERO: Oh, really?

ROBERTS: The boy got stuck.

FERO: Oh, the boy got stuck.

SAGAL: In a girl sex thing.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: But no, I should say it's not a real girl. It was a giant stone sculpture of a - yeah.

FERO: Vagina?

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

FERO: But I have to ask - was it, like, for sure a stone vagina or was it one of those, like, Georgia O'Keeffe, like, oh, it's an old stone?

ROBERTS: No. No. No. No. No.

SAGAL: No. No. No. This is pretty much - yeah. This is a thing. You know what young men are like - they can't help themselves. Studies show that men under 25 think about climbing into a giant stone vagina every six seconds.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: So this student was walking by it and said to himself, man, wouldn't it be funny if - and then he climbed in for a picture, then he couldn't get out.

(LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: So....

SAGAL: Yeah, go ahead. Please.

BURBANK: What did they do to get the guy out? I mean, did they like...

SAGAL: Well, they...

BURBANK: Like did they lube him up?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Twenty-two firefighters responded, right?

BURBANK: You know that, like, they needed two firefighters for this job.

(LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: But 20 German firefighters were like, we're going to go to this.

SAGAL: But everybody was like, come on, guys, let's go. Let's go. And...

BURBANK: The cat up the tree will be fine.

SAGAL: Right.

BURBANK: We're going to the exchange student in the giant vagina.

SAGAL: I know.

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "STUCK IN THE MIDDLE WITH YOU")

STEALERS WHEEL: (Singing) Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right. Here I am, stuck in the middle with you. Yes, I'm stuck in the middle with you. And I'm wondering...

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Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!