Panel Round One
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Right now, panel, time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Roxanne, thanks to a Freedom of Information Act request, we learned this week there's an internal rebellion at the CIA. Many of the agents have risen up and demanded what?
ROXANNE ROBERTS: Better food.
SAGAL: Yes, indeed, better food.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: CIA operatives know 100 different ways to kill a man and according to recently declassified documents, so does the Friday special breakfast kielbasa.
SAGAL: The FOIA request uncovered dozens of complaints from employees about the CIA cafeteria. Here are a few others - and they did complain about the breakfast kielbasa - here are some more - there aren't enough almonds for the cream of wheat. The so-called jazz salad said it would have grapes in it, yet there were no grapes. And regular Pepsi was coming out of the diet Pepsi dispenser.
SAGAL: These guys are not as tough as we thought. Somewhere there's a secret agent and he says I'll never talk, no matter what you do to me. Unless you fail to provide grapes for my jazz salad.
BOBCAT GOLDTHWAIT: How did we learn this?
SAGAL: Freedom of Information Act, which is an important law that allows the public to see otherwise secret documents pertaining to our government.
GOLDTHWAIT: Yeah, I can't remember the guy who had the hallelujah moment when he found that.
SAGAL: Yeah, I know.
GOLDTHWAIT: Were there high-fives all around? I knew it, I've got the jazz salad formula right here. It was grapes, it was grapes all along. You've had too much of the that real Pepsi and not the diet.
ROBERTS: No, they were trying to pass off cherry tomatoes as grapes.
SAGAL: Were they really?
ROBERTS: Totally. It was a covert operation.
BLOUNT JR: Wow.
SAGAL: So you're telling me the cherry tomatoes had, like, cover identities as grapes? As far as the American embassy were concerned, they were the grapes.
GOLDTHWAIT: You're not a grape. Yeah, I am. No, you're a tomato. No, I'm a grape.
GOLDTHWAIT: I don't know. I think the CIA should have been more concerned that the produce was talking.
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