Glynn Washington - "The Golden Man"

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In a stressful world, Glynn finds one man on whom he can always unload his burden. Until that man turns against him.

GLYNN WASHINGTON, HOST:

From PRX and NPR, it's a special - SNAP JUDGMENT LIVE in Ann Arbor, Michigan. We've saved you the very best seat in the house. It's about to get started. Enjoy the show.

So I was driving on the Golden Gate Bridge and all of the sudden I couldn't breathe. It felt like there was a tourniquet squeezed around my neck. I was just trying to get some air - was finally able to pull over. I opened the door of my car. I flopped on the ground. And this woman she runs over and she's like - what's wrong, what's wrong what's wrong, what's wrong? Can you tell me what's wrong? And I did know what was wrong. But no, I couldn't tell her. Because the truth was, the truth was - I had broken the Golden Man. Welcome - to Snap Judgment.

(APPLAUSE)

WASHINGTON: So, when I was a teenager I used to do a lot of stupid things. I would move to countries I'd never heard of before. I would threaten dudes that were three times bigger than me. And it was because of a trick, a trick a monk taught me - he said, Glenn, Glenn if you've got stress here, move it over here. If you are feeling something you don't want, put it on to someone else. Imagine someone - so I imagined a Golden Man. He looked just like my Monk friend - only he had gold nose, gold hair, gold teeth. So if I was feeling upset I would put it on him. I was feeling shy I would put it on the Golden Man - when I was feeling stressed, he felt stress. And I could go about my business. It was a pretty good deal. Except for there was a catch. I could never look the Golden Man in the eye. He tried sometimes to sneak up on me but I didn't let him do it. I didn't let him do it for years - he never caught me. Until one day driving on the Golden Gate Bridge - not too long ago - I looked up in the sky and I saw him blink and I couldn't breathe. I called my friend the Monk I said, look what do I do? He said, you need to go home. I went home. I figured that maybe a shower, some soap and some water - it'll fix this. I was in the shower and I saw the Golden Man blink at me from the tile. I passed out. And I'm wondering, is it going to be like this? Am I going to be in a spot where I'm running from ghosts in my own house? I was scared to open up doors. I was scared of what might jump out from behind cabinets. It was becoming crippling. He said to go home, go home. And I thought about it I thought, go home maybe - maybe when he said go home he meant to go back to where it all started. Maybe what he meant was it's time I chased some Midwestern thunderstorms. Maybe it's time I got in a field with some Michigan fireflies. Maybe it's time I put a little Zingerman's deli up in my belly.

(APPLAUSE)

WASHINGTON: Maybe it's time my kids got to meet their grandmother. Maybe it's time I get to hang out with my uncles on the porch and eat some barbecue. Maybe it's time me and my cousins played basketball again. Maybe it was time I came back home. Maybe it was time I came back home to where it all got started. And you know what? Ever since I touched down here in Michigan, ever since, it's not the Golden Man chasing me. It's been me. I've been chasing the Golden Man. It is so good to be here in Ann Arbor. It is so good to be back home. It is so good to be back and see everybody. I am so happy to see all of these people. My momma's here today. My best friend's here today. My cousin's here today. People I grew up with when I was a little kid are here. Jim White was here today. Ladies and gentlemen I can't tell you how happy we are to be here. And I didn't come alone. Oh no, I didn't come alone. I brought some friends. Please say hello to Mr. Alex Mandel. To get right with yourself - the dangerous David Brandt. Tim Frett, Tim Frett, Tim Frett.

(APPLAUSE)

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