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Panel Round One
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Panel Round One

Panel Round One

Panel Round One
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  • <iframe src="" width="100%" height="290" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" title="NPR embedded audio player">
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Our panelists answer questions about the week's news....The Mr. Coffee Bandit


Right now, panel, time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Luke, as of the first of this year, as I'm sure you know, Texans can carry their handguns almost anywhere in public with their concealed-carry law. Texans say this will make for a safer, more polite society. Well, just last week they were proved right when a patriotic Texan used his concealed handgun to do what?

LUKE BURBANK: He was one sandwich away from a free one, so he shot the spot on the punch card.

SAGAL: That would be a very fine idea and good shooting.


SAGAL: But no, I'll give you a hint. He basically was like one of those built-in coffee grinders - eat lead.

BURBANK: He pulled a gun in some kind of a sales...


BURBANK: ...Environment. He was...

SAGAL: I will give it to you. Basically, he used his conceal-carry license to get Wal-Mart to replace his broken coffeemaker.



SAGAL: No, the guy was trying to exchange a 5-year-old coffeemaker, which, for some reason, Wal-Mart did not want to accept. And they asked for ID, and when he reached for it, they spotted his concealed handgun license. And according to him, quote, "from there on, they were the kindest, most polite people I've ever seen in Wal-Mart. I laughed all the way to my car with my new coffeemaker." Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

BURBANK: What was the tip, that the coffeemaker was riddled with bullet holes?

SAGAL: No, he basically was like - he says that he was in there arguing with them. He wanted this new coffeemaker. And they saw his concealed-carry license and said here, here you go. And he was so happy because he basically accidentally committed armed robbery,


SAGAL: That's pretty awesome.

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Can I ask a question?

SAGAL: You may, Paula.

POUNDSTONE: How far away is this Planet 9?


SAGAL: Coming up, our Bluff The Listener game is brought to you by the letters L, I and E. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play. We'll be back in just a minute with more of WAIT WAIT… DON’T TELL ME from NPR.

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