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Limericks

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Limericks

Limericks

Limericks

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Bill reads three news-related limericks...My Father the Lego; The Dumb-Phone; Millenni-Os

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill In The Blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT That's 1-888-924-8924 or click the contact us link on our website, waitwait.npr.org. There you can find out about attending our weekly live shows right back at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago and our April 14 show at the Riverside Theater in Milwaukee and - it gets better - our June 23 and 24 shows - two nights - in Portland, Ore. And be sure to check out the latest How To Do Everything podcast. This week, Kenny G., the saxiest man alive plays the least sexy sax solo of all time. Hi, you're WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.

CALLIE: Hi.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Hi, who's this?

CALLIE: This is Callie (ph).

SAGAL: Callie. OK Callie, where are you calling from? Say California, say California.

(LAUGHTER)

CALLIE: California, but it's really Chicago.

SAGAL: Oh, well...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Thank you. Near California Street maybe, I don't know. What do you do there in our beautiful hometown of Chicago?

CALLIE: I'm a makeup artist in Chicago.

SAGAL: You're a makeup artist?

CALLIE: Yes.

SAGAL: Do you work in Chicago's fantastic theater scene, of which I am so proud?

CALLIE: No, I keep disappointing you. I'm sorry.

SAGAL: It's terrible. Callie, I think at this point, we'd just better accept each other for who we are...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...And play our limerick game with no hard feelings, OK?

CALLIE: Let's do it.

SAGAL: All right. You, of course, are going to play our limerick game. Bill Kurtis is going to perform for you three news-related limericks. Complete 2 out of 3 of them, you'll win our prize - Carl Kasell's voice. You ready to play?

CALLIE: Yeah.

SAGAL: OK, here is your first limerick.

BILL KURTIS: Lego keeps up with my fad, a bearded dude dressed up in plaid. A stroller and kids with fedoras as lids, it's their new hipster stay-at-home...

CALLIE: Dad?

SAGAL: Dad, yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

KURTIS: Yes, Callie, very, very good.

SAGAL: Very good, Callie. Lego want its toys - you know Lego, the toys - wants their toys to better reflect modern life. They've created a new figure called the stay-at-home dad. He comes with a baby, a stroller, an assorted tiny, tiny, tiny little miniature Lego bricks for him to step on and scream.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It's a very accurate set. The mother who comes with it has a bottle to hand to the father to feed the baby. And she goes off to work in her professional-looking outfit.

FAITH SALIE: Is there a Lego breast pump?

SAGAL: There is probably.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: So she's working, he's at home. I guess we know whose pants snap into the torso in that family.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right, Callie, that was very good. He was your next limerick.

KURTIS: With my face to the screen, I'm a numb clone. All my texting and swiping makes thumbs groan. Which providers sell plans for a string and two cans? I will downgrade and get me a dumb...

CALLIE: Phone?

SAGAL: Yes, phone.

KURTIS: Phone...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

KURTIS: ...How about that?

SAGAL: People exhausted by the constant flow of information coming out of our smartphones are now going back to more basic phones. It's the 21st-century equivalent of quitting your job and joining a commune, except you can still bathe regularly. For example, one company called Light Phone - it makes a simple handset, doesn't do anything but make and receive calls. You pay for that. For an extra hundred bucks, you can get a cord that goes right into the wall.

(LAUGHTER)

SALIE: Do you remember when you had to use to uncurl the phone cords?

SAGAL: Oh, yeah, that was a big deal.

SALIE: Yes, I spent a lot of time doing that.

PAULA POUNDSTONE: What are you guys talking about? I still have phone cords.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Yeah.

SAGAL: Is your phone one of those you have to pick up one part, hold to your mouth and the other part you hold to your ear like that?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Calling Western Union, I need to send a telegram.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right...

ROY BLOUNT, JR.: All right.

SAGAL: Here, Callie, is your last limerick.

KURTIS: For millennials, time is ethereal, so our food choices are cafeterial (ph). See, the effort it takes pouring milk on some flakes is just too much work making...

CALLIE: Cereal.

SAGAL: Cereal.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

KURTIS: Cereal, Callie, 3 and 0.

SAGAL: We give millennials such a hard time. But as it turns out, they really are monsters. According to a survey of young adults that came out this week, millennials - people in their 20s - do not want cereal for breakfast because it is too much work.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: You've got the bowl; you have to put in the cereal. You have to add milk. Oh, my God. You're too exhausted to eat at that point.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: General Mills has responded. They're very in touch with their consumer base. They've unveiled new Millennios cereal. It's just Cheerios, but it comes with a large mama bird who chews it up and regurgitates it directly into their mouth.

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Callie do on our quiz?

KURTIS: She did perfect without any practice at all, 3 and 0.

SAGAL: Well done, Callie, thank you so much.

CALLIE: Thank you.

SAGAL: Thanks for playing.

POUNDSTONE: Bye, Kelly.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

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