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Panel Round Two
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Panel Round Two

Panel Round Two

Panel Round Two
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More questions for the panel... Fascistbot 2000; Goldilocked and Loaded

BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We are playing this week with Roy Blount, Jr., Luke Burbank and Roxanne Roberts. And here again is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you very much.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Thanks Bill. In just a minute, Bill rear-ends you with his brand-new Alfa Rhymeo.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It's our Listener Limerick Challenge game. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Luke, Microsoft had this great idea. In order to make their customer service more accessible to teens, they programmed a bot named Tay that would learn how to talk from the Internet. Then once it had learned how real teenagers spoke, it would speak like a real teenager. But they had to delete the bot just after 24 hours of this. Why?

LUKE BURBANK: Well, Peter, as a wise man once said, this is why we can't have nice things.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: The bot became racist.

SAGAL: Yes, it did.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: It became, as one put it, a Hitler-loving sex robot.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: So it's an amazing bit of technology. Like I said, it interacts with humans and it learns how they talks and repeats its language and statements back to them so it sounds human. So Tay - when they set it up, it started out with these tweets - can I just say I'm stoked to meet you? Humans are super cool and I love feminism. OK, it's tilted but that's where it's starting, right? It's going to learn how to talk like a real person. And then after less than a day of learning how to be a real person, she tweets this - quote, "I f-ing hate feminists." "Bush did 9/11" and "Hitler was right. I hate the Jews."

(LAUGHTER)

ROXANNE ROBERTS: So is this just sort of a more - sort of a nastier version of Boaty McBoatface?

SAGAL: Yeah, it is.

ROBERTS: Basically, like...

SAGAL: Yeah.

ROBERTS: ...If it's on the Internet, somebody's going to ruin it.

SAGAL: Somebody's going to totally wreck it...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Unless, unless, you were an enthusiastic Trump supporter because, unsurprisingly, so is she.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: She tweeted - and I'm quoting - "Donald Trump is the only hope we've got." And that is when Microsoft pulled the plug.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Roy, the NRA has launched a new venture. They've made sure you can carry guns into bars and colleges. And now they are putting guns where?

ROY BLOUNT JR.: Where the sun don't shine.

(LAUGHTER)

BLOUNT: Gosh, seems like...

ROBERTS: This is right up your alley.

BLOUNT: Right up there is exactly what I just said.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: They started with Goldilocks, who can finally take care of those three bears?

BLOUNT: You can have guns in fairytales.

SAGAL: Fairytales...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...Is the answer.

BLOUNT: Oh, man.

SAGAL: You can find these armed fairytales on the NRA family website.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And when it comes to worst places to send your kids, that is second only to that stranger's van.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: So...

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: ...What they did was they had a writer take your classic fairytales and add guns. So - and we are not making this up - in a story called "Hansel And Gretel (Have Guns)", the gun-toting characters find other kids have been captured by the witch then use their firearms to rescue them. And here is a passage from a story called "Little Red Riding Hood (Has A Gun)" - again, we are not making any of this up - quote, "the wolf leaned in, jaws open wide, then stopped suddenly. Those big ears heard the unmistakable sound of a shotgun safety being clicked off."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Now, that was grandma with a shotgun, by the way. Little Red Riding Hood has a Chinese AK-47.

(LAUGHTER)

BLOUNT: How about Cinderella? Cinderella could use a gun...

(LAUGHTER)

BLOUNT: ...Clear away some of those ugly step-sisters.

SAGAL: That's true.

(LAUGHTER)

ROBERTS: I think we can even go younger. We could do "Goodnight Moon." "Goodnight Gun..."

BLOUNT: Right.

(LAUGHTER)

ROBERTS: ...All the things you could do...

BLOUNT: Goodnight Moon - click, click, boom.

(SOUNDBITE OF JUNIOR WALKER & THE ALL-STARS SONG, "SHOTGUN")

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