Putin Plays Hockey, And Wins, Of Course Vladimir Putin played a game of hockey earlier this week. NPR's Scott Simon reimagines the Russian president's double hat trick performance.
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Putin Plays Hockey, And Wins, Of Course

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Putin Plays Hockey, And Wins, Of Course

Putin Plays Hockey, And Wins, Of Course

Putin Plays Hockey, And Wins, Of Course

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Vladimir Putin played a game of hockey earlier this week. NPR's Scott Simon reimagines the Russian president's double hat trick performance.

SCOTT SIMON, HOST:

Vladimir Putin marked his 64th birthday this week by playing hockey at the Bolshoy Ice Dome in Sochi, Russia. The president of Russia scored at least six goals and five assists on his way to a 17-6 victory. Putin shoots from the left, by the way. Six goals at the age of 64, or 24, is amazing, especially when you play with Olympians and former world champions. But would they, or you, really want to try to block Vladimir Putin?

Putin skates right. He's blocked. His opponent's taken away by the secret police. Putin scores.

Putin gets the puck. He's blocked again, but he sends his opponent to a labor camp. The goal is open. Putin scores.

Putin with the puck again. He goes left. He goes right. But wait - the defender's hit by a bathtub falling out of a window. Putin scores.

(SOUNDBITE OF AIR HORN)

SIMON: That's the buzzer. And the scoreboard has been hacked. President Putin wins by 20 goals.

Man, that's exciting.

[POST-BROADCAST CORRECTION: In this story, and in a previous version of the headline, we say Vladimir Putin marked his 64th birthday this week by playing hockey. It was not his birthday. Putin's birthday is in October.]

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Correction May 16, 2017

In this story, as in a previous headline, we say Vladimir Putin marked his 64th birthday this week by playing hockey. It was not his birthday. Putin's birthday is in October.