Adoption Script

ANC/ HOST:
IN 1953, AFTER THE END OF THE KOREAN WAR, 200-THOUSAND SOUTH KOREAN CHILDREN WERE ORPHANED OR SEPARATED FROM THEIR PARENTS. THEY WERE PUT UP FOR ADOPTION, AND 150-THOUSAND OF THEM ENDED UP IN AMERICAN HOMES. THIS TREND CONTINUED UNTIL THE EIGHTIES….AND TO THIS DAY, SOUTH KOREANS REMAIN THE LARGEST GROUP OF ADOPTEES IN THE COUNTRY.

THE BEAT’S HAE-OK MILLER WAS BORN IN KOREA AND ADOPTED BY A JEWISH ARGENTINE COUPLE IN 1981. SEVEN YEARS LATER, HER PARENTS ADOPTED ANOTHER KOREAN GIRL. MILLER SPEAKS PERFECT SPANISH AND TRAVELS OFTEN TO LATIN AMERICA. AT 22 YEARS OLD, MILLER IS NOW INTERESTED IN LEARNING MORE ABOUT HER KOREAN HERITAGE, A PART OF HER PAST SHE NEVER WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT.

[MUSIC: TANGO - ADIOS PAMPA MIA]
HAE-OK: I LISTENED TO MY FIRST TANGO WHEN I WAS FIVE. ‘ADIOS PAMPA MIA’ TAUGHT ME TO FEEL THE INTIMACY OF THE MUSICAL LANGUAGE OF LOSS, REGRET, AND PASSION. MY MOM CALLS ME MUNEQUITA, OR LITTLE DOLL, IN SPANISH. MY DAD OFTEN KNEADS THE MAZA FOR A BATCH OF EMPANADAS IN THE KITCHEN, WHERE WE CAN HEAR MY MOM SING AT THE TOP OF HER LUNGS FROM HER POTTERY STUDIO IN THE BACKYARD.

MY PARENTS ARE BOTH JEWISH FROM ARGENTINA, WHO MOVED TO BERKELEY IN THE SIXTIES. THEY ADOPTED ME WHEN I WAS 13 MONTHS, AND MY YOUNGER SISTER EUN-JIN WHEN SHE WAS 4. MY DAD LOVES TO TELL THE STORY OF THE TIME HE AND MY MOM PICKED ME UP AT THE AIRPORT.

TAPE: (DAD) “(13:07) IT WAS UNFORGETTABLE. IT WAS ONE OF THOSE KEY MOMENTS THAT IMPACTED ME SO VIVIDLY AND SO STRONGLY THAT I REMEMBER IT AS IF IT WAS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW….THE FIRST REACTION WAS ONE OF SHOCK THAT THE PEOPLE WHO DID PLACE YOU IN MY ARMS WERE SO IRRESPONSIBLE AS TO PUT YOU IN THE ARMS OF A STRANGER. AND I SAID, THEY ARE CRAZY? WHAT ARE THEY DOING?
AND IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWING THAT, THERE WAS A FLASH OF UNDERSTANDING THAT THIS WAS NOW MY CHARGE, AND I INSTINCTIVELY AT THAT MOMENT, NOT EVEN VERBALIZED BUT FELT A LIFE COMMITMENT TO YOU. “

THERE WAS A TIME IN MY LIFE WHEN THE WORD ‘ADOPTION’ CREATED A LUMP IN MY THROAT. EVERY TIME SOMEONE MENTIONED I WAS ADOPTED, I WINCED. I REALIZED THAT IN THE EYES OF A STRANGER, ALL I AMOUNTED TO WAS AN ASIAN GIRL WHO DID NOT EVEN LOOK REMOTELY RELATED TO HER PARENTS.

MY STRAIGHT, DARK HAIR AND KOREAN EYES STAND IN STARK CONTRAST TO MOM’S MASS OF CURLS AND DAD’S HONEY-COLORED EYES. MANY TIMES, AT THE SUPERMARKET, A HALMONI, OR KOREAN GRANDMA, WOULD STARE AT ME AND MY DAD, FROM LEFT TO RIGHT, AND GASP IN SHOCK. I WAS EIGHT YEARS OLD. HOW COULD I EXPLAIN TO HER THAT I WAS IN KOREAN SCHOOL, LEARNING TO WRITE AND SING IN KOREAN? MY DAD AND I WOULD JUST WALK AWAY. A YEAR LATER, I LEFT KOREAN SCHOOL.

GROWING UP, I CONSIDERED BUENOS AIRES MY SECOND HOME. A PLACE WHERE THE PEOPLE PLASTER WET KISSES ON EITHER CHEEK IN THE FORM OF A SALUDO, OR GREETING. TIO LUISITO, TIA ROSITA, AND TIO CARLOS ARE JUST A PART OF MI FAMILIA IN ARGENTINA.

IN HIGH SCHOOL, I PREFERRED HAVING FRIENDS FROM DIFFERENT BACKGROUNDS. BUT SOMEHOW, I DIDN’T WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH JUST KOREANS.

WHEN I MEET ELDERLY KOREAN PEOPLE, I BOW BECAUSE I KNOW THAT’S WHAT I’M SUPPOSED TO DO. I’VE HAD BOYFRIENDS WHO ARE PART KOREAN. I MAY NOT KNOW HOW TO COOK ANY KOREAN DISH, BUT I KNOW WHAT TO ORDER IN A KOREAN RESTAURANT.

BUT, I CHOSE TO KEEP A DISTANCE FROM MY KOREAN HERITAGE BECAUSE I DIDN’T FEEL LIKE I NEEDED IT IN MY LIFE. I BELIEVED THAT IN ORDER TO HAVE A STRONG SENSE OF SELF, I HAD TO WEAR IT ON THE OUTSIDE. SO I LET EVERYONE KNOW THAT I SPEAK SPANISH TO PROVE THAT I AM A TRUE LATINA. THE KOREAN PART OF ME CAN WAIT.

MY MOM AND DAD HAVE SOME INFORMATION ABOUT MY BIOLOGICAL PARENTS. THEY TELL ME THAT I MAY EVEN HAVE A HALF-SISTER. BUT I DIDN’T WANT TO KNOW ABOUT IT NOR THE KOREAN CULTURE…UNTIL NOW.

THERE WASN’T ANY PARTICULAR TURNING POINT. I PROMISED MYSELF THAT I WOULD NOT EXPLORE THAT PART OF MY LIFE UNTIL I WAS READY…UNTIL I WAS OLDER. I THINK NOW I AM READY.

[MUSIC: KOREAN NATIONAL ANTHEM]

WHEN I HEAR THE KOREAN NATIONAL ANTHEM, I FEEL A STRONG CONNECTION TO IT. JUST KNOWING THAT THIS IS THE ANTHEM OF MY BIOLOGICAL PARENTS AND ULTIMATELY THE COUNTRY WHERE I WAS BORN, MOVES ME.

KNOWING THAT MOM, DAD, AND MY SISTER EUN-JIN ARE BEHIND ME EVERY STEP OF THE WAY, I FEEL SECURE IN VENTURING OUT TO UNEARTH MORE OF MY PERSONAL HISTORY. IT IS HONORING A PART OF WHO I AM. ONE DAY I WANT TO TRAVEL TO KOREA AND PERHAPS RECONNECT WITH MY BIOLOGICAL PARENTS. I KNOW THEY’RE OUT THERE.

MY PARENTS’ LOVE IS WHAT GIVES ME COMFORT AND I KNOW I WILL ALWAYS TAKE THAT WITH ME.

SAGYE/OBLIVION/TRACK 4)