Comfort During a Difficult Time
It is said that the older we grow, the more childlike we become. Fitting then, that “Granny Nannies” is a bourgeoning field, as Valerie Bonk reports.
In August 2006, my grandmother, and weekly pen pal whom I loved and adored, suffered from a stroke and was put into a nursing home. She was left unable to speak or understand what is going on around her. My grandfather visited her at least once everyday and always made sure that she was as comfortable and content as she could be.
When my grandfather passed away this past June from cancer, my family was overwhelmed with grief. Before her stroke, my grandmother was very social - she attended card club, loved traveling and volunteering at the local elementary school - which made us feel that we needed to get someone to spend time with her and help her to feel as though she was not alone. My grandparents lived in Nebraska and most of our family live in other parts of the country and are only able to visit once, maybe twice a year. After much deliberation, and a little guilt for not being able to spend time with her, my family decided to post an ad for a “granny nanny” in the church bulletin.
The reaction was an outpouring of phone calls and resumes. Ten women responded and were interviewed by the family. After the interviewing process, my family chose Mona; an older parishioner who had been a nursing home aid when she was younger. She was compassionate, kind and knowledgeable. Being from the small town of Columbus, NE, she also knew some of the same people my grandma knew. My family then had Mona spend time with my grandmother to see how she reacted. My grandmother lit up and started to smile when Mona sat down and talked with her. She then went through HIPPA training to ensure confidentiality. Mona went to visit my grandmother once a day Monday through Friday for an hour at $10 a day. She would not only spend time with my grandmother but she would also go through photo albums with her and would bring along a book to look up the kind of birds that would visit the birdfeeder outside her window.
Finding Mona was an amazing gift for our family. She gave my family relief during a very sad and frustrating time for us. When my grandmother passed away on December 4th, Mona was devastated. She told my family that she was going to miss seeing my grandmother everyday. She then gave my dad a journal. Inside there was a log of how grandma was feeling and what Mona did with her everyday.
When I got to Nebraska for my grandmother’s funeral I spent an hour going through this book. I used to write to my grandmother once a week. When she had her stroke, I felt as though I had lost my best friend. Going through this journal gave me hope and connected me to my grandmother again. Mona mentioned from her perspective how nice it was for her to meet Grandma and to look forward to seeing her each day. I think that being a Nanny is one of the few jobs some people can hold at that age and feel that they can be good at.
These new nannies that are now moving into the market are known as “granny nannies” or “senior companions.” They are friends for your elderly who go to spend time and make them feel as though they can still socialize and be a part of society. People looking for a granny nanny can list in the bulletin at their local church, advertise in the newspaper, or use a service like the ones listed below:
http://www.theseniorsource.org/
http://www.nanny4u.com/links.asp
In just the few months that Mona was with my grandmother, I did not feel as worried day to day because I knew that someone was reading to her and talking to her. She gave so much to others, and it was nice to know that she was still loved and cared for in a time that could have been very lonely for her. I miss her everyday but I feel blessed and confident that my family did the right thing during a very difficult year.
Photo credit goes to Michelle Bonk.
Tags: valerie bonk, washington desk
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