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Fear....Real or Imagined? (Cont.)
The Problematic Fear of Judgment This brings me to the next phase, when the laziness and misdirected frustrations melt away to reveal the true demon behind our immobility. I think what's at the root of procrastination and writer's block is simply fear. It's the fear of honesty, of being totally ourselves, of putting all we've got on the line. It's the fear of failure and rejection. And, like my friend, the fear to consider the limits of our creative abilities and what these limits ultimately say about us. Hugh MacLeod writes that you might just have nothing to say. But fear of failure or embarrassment, fear of producing something unremarkable or unimpressive can't be reason enough to give up on a creative impulse. There has got to be some way of letting go of our instinct to judge ourselves by other people's standards and the fear those standards invoke.
Want a Solution? Try Singing But what would be the worst thing that could happen? Would someone really be that offended that they would forever change their opinion of me? I fantasize about breaking social norms like this one quite often, because the feeling of opening myself up like that challenges this very deep-seated fear I have of other people's judgment. So the act of singing is quite liberating really, much more than playing an instrument, because your body, your whole self, IS the instrument. I feel naked when I sing, as I'm sure most people do, whether they consider themselves singers or not. You're totally putting yourself out there and there's no hiding, no touch up that can conceal the true nature of your voice. I liken the fear of singing in public to the fear I feel when I get writer's block. They just differ in degree of the same performance anxiety, of the same fear of judgment. To overcome this fear is an important step in learning to fully accept and love ourselves, and in turn an important step toward making actions of our ideas. It is how we love and enjoy the process of creativity that matters most in the end. The more we let go and give in to it, the more likely it is that we will create the best that we can create. That's it. It's that simple. Maybe our best won't compete with Shakespeare or Chopin, but Macleod makes an interesting observation about how we tend to overrate actual talent in the first place: If somebody in your industry is more successful than you, it's probably because he works harder at it than you do. Sure, maybe he's more inherently talented, more adept at networking, etc. But I don't consider that an excuse. Over time, that advantage counts for less and less. Which is why the world is full of highly talented, network-savvy, failed mediocrities. This ultimately means accepting and maybe enjoying the vulnerability of being a creative person. We can use this feeling to remind ourselves that we're alive and sweetly imperfect, because that is to be human and to be exactly as we are meant to be. So go out, find an unsuspecting crowd, and sing your heart out. You'll see what it feels like to conquer writer's block and to beat procrastination. In that moment you not only get to know your limits but also to share them with the world, and simply not care. |  |
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