Break those on-line ties that bind you to your ex.
Break those on-line ties that bind you to your ex. (iStockphoto.com)
It's a New Year and I am quite certain that many of you have said, "Don't let the door hit ya where the Good Lord split ya'," to those significant others who weren't — THE ONE. You're starting fresh; you're blogging about your future goals; you're tweeting your resolutions and updating your Facebook status with things like, "I will never, ever, ever settle!"
Your FB friends and Twitter followers comment on your updates with things like, "you tell 'em, get yours, you're worth so much more, you can do better, best way of getting over the last one is getting under the next one!" And you read those posts and smile through the resentment.
But, then, the loneliness starts creeping up on you, maybe you're bored. You start looking at the Facebook profiles of mutual friends, subconsciously looking for signs of life — the ex's life. You stumble upon posts they've written, "so great to see you last night," they write on the wall of one of your friends. What does that mean? You're tempted to tweet horrible things about them because you know their friends follow your Twitter feed.
But, you're a grown-up not a middle-school kid, right? Wrong.
Breaking up in the age of social media addiction makes things much more complicated and it seems like the wounds take longer to heal. Pre-social media networking, you could ignore your ex-lover's e-mails and phone calls, you threw their toothbrush in the trash and threw their clothes out of your apartment window on a rainy day.
If your friends bumped into your ex, they wouldn't dare tell you. Now, your friends are virtually bumping into your ex all over the internet and their interactions are right there on the FB news feed for all to see. Let's not get into the Facebook photos, Twitpics and Flickr!
I've got a call in to etiquette expert, Miss Manners, relationship advice guru, Dan Savage and everyone's favorite shrink, Dr. Drew Pinsky for a radio story I'm working on about this on-line conundrum for All Things Considered. (Hopefully, they'll call back.)
Until then, what's YOUR story and how did you keep from being a social media stalker?
Did you block the ex from your g-chat list, de-friend them on Facebook, un-follow their Twitter feed?
How about your Flickr account, did you delete all the photos of the two of you sucking face?
And then there's the mutual friends and family members that are a part of your on-line social network — what to do about them?
Is it cool to ask your friends to un-friend the ex?
Should you swear off social media sites — completely — until you've moved on?