Enlarge Courtesy of Jolivette Mecenas

Maximilian Dominic Mecenas-Sarmiento, born Aug. 17, "smiles" for the camera.

Courtesy of Jolivette Mecenas

Maximilian Dominic Mecenas-Sarmiento, born Aug. 17, "smiles" for the camera.

It has taken me almost two weeks to write about Maximilian, mostly because I'm so exhausted. When I have a chance to sit down at the computer, I usually end up asleep at the keyboard, with sentences trailing off into nonsense on my screen.

About Jolivette

Jolivette Mecenas, 38, lives with her partner, Charlyne, in Los Angeles. The two welcomed their first child, Maximilian Dominic Mecenas-Sarmiento, on Aug. 17.

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It's hard work, this nursing/diapering/rocking-to-sleep business, even though the baby has "Team Max" (me and Charlyne) to attend to his needs 24/7. Thank goodness there are two of us, because learning my new mama role while recovering from a C-section has not been easy.

In the first week, I counted multiple hot spots of suffering on my body. Obviously, there were the "bikini line" stitches that throbbed whenever I coughed, laughed or moved my body in any way; these necessitated a regimen of prescription painkillers. Then there was the rawness on both sides of my abdomen where the surgical tape ripped off my skin.

I also had swollen feet (a side effect of the IV) and a creaky abdomen that felt like it was shrinking at the same time that my displaced organs where trying to rearrange themselves again. I was constipated from the Vicodin and often had a headache from lack of sleep. My breasts were swollen with milk, and that didn't feel too good, either.

Enlarge Courtesy of Jolivette Mecenas

Maximilian Dominic Mecenas-Sarmiento

Courtesy of Jolivette Mecenas

Maximilian Dominic Mecenas-Sarmiento

UPDATED Monday, Aug. 22: Jolivette Mecenas, at home recovering from her C-section, sent in this photo of her newborn son, Maximilian. You can read his birth announcement below.

Friday, Aug. 19: Several weeks ago, Jolivette Mecenas wrote that she and her partner, Charlyne, were struggling over whether or not to hyphenate their soon-to-be-born baby's last name. It looks like we have an answer: Maximilian Dominic Mecenas-Sarmiento was born Aug. 17, "happy and healthy," says mom Jolivette.

She sent us an email early this morning with the details: On Tuesday night at 9 p.m., her water broke. Because she had just eaten, she had to wait until 4:30 the next morning to have her C-section (it had been scheduled for Aug. 24, since her baby was in a breech position and efforts to turn him hadn't worked.)

Enlarge Courtesy of Peggy Tran-Le

Jolivette and Charlyne welcomed their son, Maximilian, into the world on Aug. 17.

Courtesy of Peggy Tran-Le

Jolivette and Charlyne welcomed their son, Maximilian, into the world on Aug. 17.

Little Maximilian made his grand entrance at 5:19 a.m., weighing in at 7 pounds, 7 ounces and almost 19 inches long.

Jolivette and family are scheduled to go home later today, and she promises an update — hopefully with photos. We'll post more as soon as we get it.

P.S. If you've been following the Baby Project blog, you'll know that all nine of our moms have now given birth. Relive the births of Valentina Sofia, Finnley James, Diana Marie, Abel Weston, Dalia Joule, Dexter Aaron, Revira, and Natalie and Elizabeth.

Enlarge Courtesy of Jolivette Mecenas

Jolivette (third from left) and Charlyne with friends Sarah and Carrie, who are in the process of adopting a baby in Texas. The two couples plan to vacation together with their new families.

Courtesy of Jolivette Mecenas

Jolivette (third from left) and Charlyne with friends Sarah and Carrie, who are in the process of adopting a baby in Texas. The two couples plan to vacation together with their new families.

A few weeks ago, Jolivette Mecenes wrote the first part of her story on how she and her partner, Charlyne, went about conceiving a baby — and how people felt entitled to ask her about it. Here is Part 2.

The second most popular question people want to ask us (after "How did you get pregnant?") is: How did you choose your donor? As I wrote in the first part of this story, we gave up on our wish list of known donors (guys we love and admire) and turned to a local fertility clinic and sperm bank.

We decided to search for a donor whom we did not know, yet was "willing to be known" to our child once he or she turned 18. We spent weeks reading through handwritten donor profiles. We compared photos of the donors as little boys, some dressed in karate outfits, others dressed for a Sears portrait, circa 1983. In Donor #XXXX's photo of his boyhood self, he smiles openly, optimistically. And he is just adorable.

Enlarge Courtesy of Jolivette Mecenas

Jolivette sits on a birthing ball and put a frozen bag of corn on the top of her belly, to get the baby to move down. Jolivette first tested out the frozen-veggie technique on her dog.

Courtesy of Jolivette Mecenas

Jolivette sits on a birthing ball and put a frozen bag of corn on the top of her belly, to get the baby to move down. Jolivette first tested out the frozen-veggie technique on her dog.

Jolivette says she planned to continue writing about how she and her partner Charlyne chose their donor, a story she began telling in her last post. But she's postponing that topic to update readers on how the baby is doing these days.

Heart rate is good, amniotic fluids look good...and he's breech! This was news to us. We thought that he had been in the ideal head down position for a few weeks now, but either we (including the hospital midwife) were mistaken or he had turned again. In any case, his head is positioned at the top of my abdomen, and he is presenting buttocks first, which means his rear end is at the top of my cervix — not ideal for a vaginal birth.

In fact, we left the doctor's office that day with two new appointments: the first is with one of the hospital doctors for an external version (more on that below); the second is for a possible C-section in my 39^th week (soon!).

Enlarge Courtesy of Peggy Tran-Le

Jolivette and Charlyne

Courtesy of Peggy Tran-Le

Jolivette and Charlyne

As we get closer to my guesstimate delivery date, we are duly preparing, putting together a bassinet and folding ridiculously tiny clothing into a dresser. But other thoughts concern me, such as how and when we will tell our son about his willing-to-be-known donor. The topic is challenging enough when explaining to inquisitive friends and relatives.

"How did it happen?"

"How did what happen?"

"How did, you know, you get pregnant?" my 22-year old cousin asks me, wide-eyed, after I tell her the news. She's happy for me and Charlyne, yet she — like an old high school friend, an aunt, a grad school friend, my 85-year-old grandma, and other relatives and acquaintances with whom I have not been immediately forthcoming about such details — is curious as hell.

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Jolivette, shown at her recent baby shower, is planning to use the HypnoBirthing method of natural childbirth.

Courtesy of Jolivette Mecenas

Jolivette, shown at her recent baby shower, is planning to use the HypnoBirthing method of natural childbirth.

I like to think that as a couple, Charlyne and I put the "hip" into HypnoBirthing, but it looks like actor Jessica Alba and her husband beat us to it.

HypnoBirthing, as second-time mom-to-be Alba explained to Ellen DeGeneres on her show recently, is the use of hypnotherapy during pregnancy and birthing. Mom concentrates on breathing, while the "birthing companion" (mom's partner) relaxes her with guided hypnosis and light massage. It seems to be gaining popularity, as I've seen several other women on The Baby Project post or comment on their HypnoBirth experience.

We try to practice every night, Charlyne reading a scripted narration, while I close my eyes and breathe deeply, drifting into a deeper and deeper state of relaxation as she talks me through the colors of the rainbow. It's hard for us to picture "the strawberry-red mist that envelopes my torso" without feeling silly, so our teacher suggests we substitute another relaxing image. We can visualize our recent vacation in Hawaii. ("Picture yourself melting away in the crystal blue waters of Maui.") Charlyne wants to narrate a scene of our dog romping through a field of green grass.

Enlarge Courtesy of Jolivette Mecenas

While on a babymoon in Hawaii, Jolivette says, she felt like the only pregnant woman walking around in a bikini.

Courtesy of Jolivette Mecenas

While on a babymoon in Hawaii, Jolivette says, she felt like the only pregnant woman walking around in a bikini.

We're on vacation in Hawaii, mostly to attend a friend's wedding, but also for a "babymoon" — that last trip expectant parents take together as a couple before baby arrives and changes your whole idea of "vacation" forever.

I lived in Honolulu while attending the University of Hawai'i as a graduate student, and Oahu was clearly a big babymoon destination. But now that I'm visiting, it seems like I'm the only pregnant lady walking around North Shore in a bikini. At first I was self-conscious; I haven't worn a bikini since I was 23 years old (forget about a modest one-piece if you want to go swimming at eight months pregnant!).

I'm also still trying to get used to this body: the taut belly and the "pendulous" B-cup breasts — a welcomed growth spurt for this lifelong A-cup girl.

Enlarge Courtesy of Jolivette Mecenas

Last week, Jolivette and Charlyne filed paperwork for a domestic partnership. Here they are, standing outside the County Clerk's office.

Courtesy of Jolivette Mecenas

Last week, Jolivette and Charlyne filed paperwork for a domestic partnership. Here they are, standing outside the County Clerk's office.

I'm a few weeks into my third trimester now, and a stack of pregnancy books has accumulated on my nightstand. One of my colleagues gave me a good one: And Baby Makes Four: A Trimester-by-Trimester Guide to a Baby-Friendly Dog. It offers advice that I consistently, willfully ignore, and that is: Demote your dog from No. 1 Baby to just "the dog."

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Jolivette and Charlyne with their dog, Ono

Courtesy of Jolivette Mecenas

Jolivette and Charlyne with their dog, Ono

As I wrote in my introduction, we own a rescue dog named Ono. My partner, Charlyne, tells me that during my pregnancy, I've been speaking baby talk to the dog nonstop. I blame this on the hormones. The pregnancy books tell me that I should expect mood swings due to changes in hormone levels. So far, I've only swung in one direction, and that is sensitive, a little weepy, and surprisingly vulnerable.

Recently, I've cried at every Pride Month documentary aired on public television. Even a short film on the Supreme Court battle over the term "Gay Olympics" left me in tears, hugging my dog. People, can the gays just get a break? And I realize I have been given a tremendous break: an awesomely supportive family.

Enlarge Courtesy of Jolivette Mecenas

Courtesy of Jolivette Mecenas

A 'Real, Live Gay Girl': Some facts: My nickname is Joli. I am 38 years old (no longer a "girl" strictly speaking, but still an occasional wearer of pigtails). I live with my partner in Los Angeles. We are expecting our first child — a son — to be born in mid-August. I am the birth mother. We rent. I keep hoping a talent scout will discover our charmingly quirky shelter dog, and that his pet acting will pay our rent and impending baby costs, but no such luck as of yet.

In the meantime, I teach at a local university, persuading students that reading, thinking and writing are still worthwhile endeavors, even though there is no job waiting for them when they finish reading a poem or writing an essay on, say, civil rights. This past semester, a particularly thoughtful class reminded me that students do think deeply about changing the world. I am honored when they write these stories for class, and inspired to likewise share the last leg of my pregnancy with readers of NPR's Baby Project.

Enlarge Courtesy of Jolivette Mecenas

Jolivette (right) with her partner, Charlyne

Courtesy of Jolivette Mecenas

Jolivette (right) with her partner, Charlyne

A year ago, my partner Charlyne and I decided to start a family. We consulted The Essential Guide to Lesbian Conception, Pregnancy, and Birth by Kim Toevs and Stephanie Brill, recommended by a close friend, a social worker in San Francisco.

At first I was skeptical: The authors, Bay Area midwives, dedicate the book to the Goddess; on one page there is an alarming photo of someone's cervix, viewed up close and personal through a speculum, to illustrate "signs of fertility." But the authors explain that they want to give women "the information and tools they need to follow their own unique path to creating a family." When I read this, I thought, I am so totally on board with that!

My own family is a very traditional, two-parent, two-offspring model, fully loaded with extended family. My parents immigrated to Los Angeles from the Philippines when they were teenagers. Charlyne's parents also emigrated from the Philippines and settled in L.A. In fact, we live in a neighborhood dubbed "Historic Filipinotown."

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Jolivette with her family in 1976

Courtesy of Jolivette Mecenas

Jolivette with her family in 1976

Nearby is Los Angeles Community College, where my parents met. Pop was not really enrolled, just playing basketball with friends, and so he was drafted at the tail end of Vietnam. Luckily, he only made it as far as Ford Ord in Monterey, Calif. In 1973, I was born, costing a total of $25, a birth subsidized by Uncle Sam.

Ever since I was a kid, I've loved hearing this story. Filipinos (myself especially) can't resist pointing out a good bargain, and so the story of my thrifty birth paid for my G.I. father by the government always struck me as both a very Filipino and a very American way to enter into this world. Maybe this blog will give our son a good birth story he loves to hear over and over again. "I blogged about you when I was pregnant ..." And he'll sigh, "Oh, moms!"