Lucy Peck

Time To Face Reality, Reluctantly: Bracing For Missing My Baby

Lucy holds Dexter in a wrap. She says she has to go back to classes and work soon while her husband, Aaron, is a stay-at-home dad — and she admits she's jealous. i i

hide captionLucy holds Dexter in a wrap. She says she has to go back to classes and work soon while her husband, Aaron, is a stay-at-home dad — and she admits she's jealous.

Courtesy of Lucy Peck
Lucy holds Dexter in a wrap. She says she has to go back to classes and work soon while her husband, Aaron, is a stay-at-home dad — and she admits she's jealous.

Lucy holds Dexter in a wrap. She says she has to go back to classes and work soon while her husband, Aaron, is a stay-at-home dad — and she admits she's jealous.

Courtesy of Lucy Peck

It feels as though I've been in baby limbo for the past month or so. I'm slowly pulling myself out of it, though unfortunately, I can't stay here forever.

Our plans for the future are coming together. I know I wrote earlier about not being able to see past August in my plans; well, August is over this week. Time to face reality. I'm starting classes again on Sept. 7. Two days a week for five hours each day, then some outside work experience starts in October. Add a part-time job to that, and I am going to be one busy mama.

Aaron, a freelance writer, is prepared to be the stay-at-home dad and take care of Dexter. I'm a little jealous. OK, I'm a lot jealous. But hopefully only a few more months of classes, and then I can move on. I'm going to miss my baby so much. I'm not holding him as I write this, and I feel guilty. How am I going to leave him for five hours at a time?

I hope that once I've got my certification (to be an American Sign Language interpreter), I will be able to pick and choose my jobs and still spend lots of time with Dexter. I want to be around when he giggles for the first time, when he first scoots across the floor, and when he makes his first sign. I really don't want to miss a thing. Sure, we have a video camera, but it's not the same as actually being there and experiencing it with him.

About Lucy

Lucy Peck, 27, of Logan, Utah, became a first-time mom on July 29, when she and her husband, Aaron, welcomed Dexter Aaron Peck into their lives.

I know I should try not to anticipate too much the milestones to come, as once they've come and gone, my little boy will be that much more grown up. But I can't wait until he's old enough to interact with us and share his thoughts. Aaron and I can't wait to take him to Disneyland. I think we are more excited about that than he will be. Maybe.

This blog has been a great resource for me — from all of your comments to the documentation of the last weeks of my pregnancy and then the birth. I plan to include each of the posts I wrote in Dexter's baby book. I know they will be wonderful reminders of this experience. And I hope to share them with Dexter some day. He might not appreciate it as much as I will, especially the post about circumcision, but oh well! I hope he doesn't get mad at me for that one.

I plan to keep on documenting this experience. I probably won't be as faithful as I have been for this blog, but after seeing the value of the posts on here, I think I will be consistent, at least. If you like, you can continue following us at our website, peckibles.com. I hope to see some of you there. You've been great (albeit distant and anonymous) friends.

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