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Help Wanted: The Gospel According to Yoda

Daniel Jones describes the new UK Church of the Jedi

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hide captionYoda your help needs.

MJ Kim/Getty Images

Two brothers across the pond have founded the UK Church of the Jedi, which has no deity but follows the teachings of Yoda. The Star Wars Yoda. Daniel Jones spoke with us today, saying:

"We don't have a deity. We have the Force. It's more like self-belief. If you believe in yourself, and you manipulate the Force, you can achieve great things."

As Yoda might say, "Your help we need. Yes, hmmm. For yoda help us write scripture. New gospel, anyone, hmm? Or new 10 commandments, hmm? Yeesssssss."

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Thou shalt not worship images from Star Trek or other false sci/fi.

Do not steal light sabers. Those things are expensive.

Do not covet thy neighbors midiclorian count.

Jedi robes shall be removed before passing through revolving doors.

Cleanliness of thy parents basement is next to Jediness.

Do not commit adulthood.

Do not cook meat using energy binders.

Thou shalt not use wheels on land transports. They are an abomination.

Sent by Winston | 12:04 PM | 1-25-2008

"Do not commit adulthood."

Lol, I almost spit out my coffee.

Sent by Moo | 1:38 PM | 1-25-2008

I wonder what the role of women are within this faith system? Princess Leia is often dismissed for her "sex slave" costume - which is funny considering she was wearing that costume when she killed Jabba the Hut with her bare hands...

Sent by Kristine Maitland | 1:40 PM | 1-25-2008

the new commandment:
Speak with bad syntax you must.

Sent by Micah | 2:00 PM | 1-25-2008

1. Believe in the Force and miracles it will work
2. Let the Force flow through you to gain strength
3. Use the Force for knowledge and defense, never for attack
4. Weapons are not needed, only the Force
5. Protect all lifeforms
6. Treat all with compassion
7. Do not give in to fear
8. Teach others the way of the Force
9. Do not stop learning about the living Force
10. Use the Force to build, never to destroy

Sent by Jedi Padawan AJ | 2:02 PM | 1-25-2008

...and always remember: size matters not.

Sent by Benjamin Pavsner | 2:30 PM | 1-25-2008

Passive verb before active it must be.

Sent by alice | 2:34 PM | 1-25-2008

The Force is a State of Energy that transcends all Physical Limitations and replaces the hipocracies of worship of human based deities in Religions like Judaism, Christinity , and Islam's with the overwhelming power of Goodness, Splendor, and Mystery of the Universe. The Force conveys Love, Goodness, Self Confidence, Brotherhood, Respect, Honesty, and Peace to all. The very essence of most religions gone bad by internal corruption, pointless, radicalism, and power hungry zealots.

Sent by Jedi Jodi Devotee | 2:58 PM | 1-25-2008

Let's not forget "Try not! Do, or do not. There is no try."

Sent by Eric L. | 4:08 PM | 1-25-2008

While I'm at it,
http://www.ccraig.org/everything.html

Sent by Eric L. | 4:14 PM | 1-25-2008

1.) Do or do not. There is no "try".
2.) The Force connects everything.
3.) Wars not make one great.
4.) Always in motion is the future.
5.) Adventure, excitement--a Jedi craves not these things.
6.) Don't give in to hate. That leads to the Dark Side.
7.) Size matters not.

Sent by Robyn Russell | 4:46 PM | 1-25-2008

exactly right Eric L. "Try not... is the heart of the Star Wars films

Sent by J. Potter | 5:41 PM | 1-25-2008

Winston, i hope those Jedi commandments make it to a webpage of thier own one day.

Sent by Jonathan Cowan | 6:45 PM | 1-25-2008

My favorite is do not commit adulthood. But in Jedi, "adulthood commit do not, hmmmmm, yesss."

Sent by Linda M. Atlanta, GA | 9:52 PM | 1-25-2008

DO or DO NOT.....Thou Shalt Not Try.

Sent by C. McKim | 10:07 PM | 1-25-2008

there is always another skywalker

Sent by Kevin Dang | 3:47 PM | 1-26-2008

May the Farce be with you!

Sent by ipeirce | 7:33 AM | 1-27-2008

I have no ideas for a commandment. But if they ever come up with 10, they should be numbered:
VI
VII
VIII
IX
X
then
I
II
III
IV
and finally V.

Sent by Reggie Diaz | 1:51 PM | 1-27-2008

Thou shalt forget that Yoda is a puppet.

Sent by Angela | 1:55 PM | 1-27-2008

I know this is from another movie but "To one another most excellent be"

Transcends the force i would say

Sent by BAT_MAN | 9:49 PM | 1-27-2008

Thou shalt not lose thy virginity (well, more of a prediction than a commandment, really)

Sent by Mike | 6:02 AM | 1-28-2008

The time is nigh, my brothers, to cast off the shroud of the Dark Side and crush the Jedi. Perhaps one of these "Jedi" can tell me how long until I can shoot blue-evil lightning from my fingertips? I can't wait to turn it on one of them... Muhahahaaa

Okay seriously, I find it amusing that an Atheist has founded a religion, even a goofy one. This is even more rich than Scientology - You know the one made up by a science fiction writer that thought he could get rich by starting a religion? You know what? The funny thing is that it worked... The incredible stupidity of humanity never ceases to astound me.

Sent by Charley | 8:25 AM | 1-28-2008

Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter... act like it.

Sent by Micah | 2:13 PM | 1-28-2008

Fear is the path to the dark side...

Fear leads to anger,
Anger leads to hate,
Hate leads to suffERing...

Sent by Mike | 3:18 PM | 1-28-2008

To Charley who finds it "amusing that an Antheist has founded a religion, even a goofy one." Yeah because there is nothing goofy in "normal" religions, nothing stupid there right? The inexplicable naked guy running away when Jesus was arrest by the Roman solidiers makes perfect sense, the guy in Buddha who beats the heck out of someone to enlighten them and gee, they become believers. Yeah, right.

Sent by Ana | 3:58 PM | 1-28-2008

A TIE-Interceptor is not expendable. If equipped with a proper shield generator, it can challenge a flight of X-Wings. Do not underestimate six lasers and pure manueverability.

Sent by Lord Raptonyus | 7:40 PM | 1-28-2008

Thou shalt thank thy mother for letting you live in her house and giving you rides to work.

Sent by Daniel G | 10:44 PM | 1-28-2008

I kind of like these ideas in any belief system: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you", "It's not whether you win or loose, but how you play the game", "Love thy neighbor", "Be yourself", "Stop and smell the roses", "As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons", "Live long and prosper", and of course, "may the force be with you"!

Sent by Charles | 1:08 AM | 1-29-2008

I am the original Star Wars Trilogy, which have brought thee out of the house of disbelief and into the General Cinemas. Thou shalt have no other prequels before me.

Thou shalt not believe in midiclorian.

Thou shalt not take the law "size matters not" in vain.

Thou shalt not license unto thee any printed image, or any likeness of my heavenly storyline, or of my earthly cinamatography, or of my watery character acting.

Thou shalt not bear false puppets.

Thou shalt not kneel thyself before stright-to-video games, nor serve them unto others.

Remember the holiday season, but only to keep it holy.

Thou shalt not steal my lines.

Do or do not. Thou shalt not try.

Sent by David Villa | 4:52 AM | 1-29-2008

i concur reggie. i concur hahaha

Sent by kt | 9:52 PM | 1-31-2008

As a preacher in a conservative Baptist church, I have noticed how the original Greek text of the New Testament sounds so much like Yoda, especially the Epistle of the Hebrews, and especially when the topic gets serious. This has to do with the Greek word order and its use of emphasis.
So, as the English reads "The Word of God is Living . . . " the wooden Greek is very Yoda; "Living is the Word , , , ! " I found this so funny because my congregation is sick of me saying, "now listen to Yoda" when I want to make a strong Greek point.

Sent by Charles Busada | 4:48 PM | 2-5-2008

Star Wars 10 Commandments

VI- You shall not murder the Jedi language.
VII- You shall not commit ???adulthood???.
VIII- Do not steal light sabers. Those things are expensive!(taken from Winston)
IX- You shall not bear false witness against a Wookie.
X- You shall not covet your neighbor's Star Wars comic book collection; you shall not covet your neighbor's Lifesize Leia doll, nor his R2D2 robot, nor his autographed poster of the original Star Wars cast, nor his Yoda backpack, nor his Deathstar replica, nor anything that is in your neighbor's Star Wars collection.
I - You shall have no other puppets before Yoda.
II- You shall not make for yourself a LEGO image--any likeness of anything that is in Star Wars- ???A New Hope???, or that is in ???Empire Strikes Back???, or that is in ???Return of the Jedi???.
III- Thou shalt not take George Lucas??? name in vain.
IV- Remember the Sith day, to keep it holy.
V- Honor Obi Wan and Padime.

Sent by Peg Graham | 11:30 AM | 2-12-2008

i have no ideas but i dont agree with the teaching according to the gospel of yoda's.

Sent by mery | 2:42 AM | 2-25-2008

1. thou shalt not support lego star wars. it is a mockery and maked Yoda-sensei look fat.
2. thou shalt not support Star Trek, Space Wars, or any other mockery of Star Wars.
3. thou shalt honor Qui-Gon, may he rest in peace.
4. thou shalt ignore the Sith, the Sith lord, Darth Vader, darth maul, and all others who dwell on the dark side of the force.
5. thou shalt not make fun of c3po's strength problems. he doesn't mean to be so weak.
6. thou shalt learn to interpret r2d2's little beepy noises. he can tell you many interesting stories if only you listen carefully.
7. thou shalt not enter into the dark side of the force.
8. thou shalt not use the force for thy own personal gain.
9. thou shalt not cosplay and Star Wars characters in a negative or mocking way.
10. thou shalt NOT call Yoda-sensei a puppet. he is a wise little... troll... gnome... alien... thing, not a puppet.

Sent by Jedi Anasatsusha | 7:52 PM | 2-26-2008

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