News

The Joy of Christian Sex Toys

description

hide captionGetty Images

As part of our Valentine's Day coverage, we had Joy Wilson of Book22 on our show. The evangelical Christian opened up about how her personal troubles rekindling intimacy after her first child burgeoned into an online sex toy business.

Joy's products are for married couples only. You won't find any images of naked people, and anal toys are a no-no. Prayer helped her decide which toys were acceptable for Christians.

Her business has become a ministry of sorts — Joy gets almost as many requests for sex advice as she does for her toys.

Sorry folks, no multimedia for this story. But Joy's story couldn't be more colorful.

Comments

 

Please keep your community civil. All comments must follow the NPR.org Community rules and terms of use, and will be moderated prior to posting. NPR reserves the right to use the comments we receive, in whole or in part, and to use the commenter's name and location, in any medium. See also the Terms of Use, Privacy Policy and Community FAQ.

"Prayer helped her decide which toys were acceptable for Christians."

Does anyone (besides me) find this line to be strangely comical?

Sent by Will G | 12:26 PM | 2-14-2008

I find it comical that prayer helped her decide. I also find the name of her site comical. The Song of Solomon is metaphorical. God's love for the people of Israel told about as if were a husband's love for his wife. Maybe Bible school isn't what it used to be.. Anyway, she had some fine looking wares, so I'm going shopping for my wife.

Sent by Steve | 1:28 PM | 2-14-2008

Wonder if the Love Bunny was on Noah's ark ...

Sent by David Hollis, Hamilton, NY | 2:08 PM | 2-14-2008

Dear Will G,

I don't find it comical. But, then again, I'm not a Puritan. I'm Catholic. In the Catholic canon of Scripture, we have the Book of Tobit, where Tobiah prayers with his wife before they make love for the first time. So, prayer before sex makes as much sense to me as marriage before sex. Now, if marriage before sex doesn't make sense to you, my friend, that's between you and God.

I find it interesting that they include condoms on their site, since the two times in which artificial contraceptives are mentioned (Gen 38:8-10, Duet 25:7-10), they are condemned. In fact, all Protestants before 1920 opposed artificial contraceptives as being unbiblical. Strange that the Catholic Church, the church oft accused by our Protestant brethren as being unscriptural, is the only one who remains committed to keeping the marriage bed pure of the biblical curse of Onanism (i.e., artificial contraception).

Sent by Matthew Scallon | 3:06 PM | 2-14-2008

Matthew,

There are other reasons besides contraception to use condoms.

I enjoyed this interview tremendously. Joy is fitting a need in the Christian community. It is important for us to guard our minds from inappropriate images, so it is nice to have the opportunity to purchase these products for our marriage without being bombarded by pornography.

Keep up the great work, Joy!

Sent by Jodi | 3:34 PM | 2-14-2008

My wife and I struggled with this very issue. I wanted to infuse our sex life with more fun and energy while she was hesitant to try anything new. We read a book called "Intimate Issues: Conversations Woman to Woman" by Linda Dillow and Lorraine Pintus.

The book really opened up some great conversations between us. Some of the chapter titles include
-How can sex go from boring to sizzling?
-What's Not Okay in Bed?
-What's the big deal about orgasms

Sent by len20 | 4:12 PM | 2-14-2008

I think this is fantastic. Most conservative Christians grow up trying to repress sexual desire in very unhealthy ways... that translates to the marriage bed. Many Christians do feel uncomfortable about purchasing sex toys through what they deem pornographic or inappropriate stores and web sites. While it may seem like a funny idea, I have no problem with it.

Sent by Lars | 4:24 PM | 2-14-2008

It's not comical at all! Why shouldn't one pray about sex just as one would pray about anything else? God, as the creator of man and everything that goes with him, is inherently involved in our sex lives. We may as well acknowledge His presence.
Why can't the Song of Solomon refer to both the relationship between God and His people and between a man and his wife? The marriage relationship is the first interpersonal relationship described in the Bible, and as there are so many legal rules defining marriage throughout the book, should there not be some section which addresses the more pleasant aspects of marital relations?
All this to say: why not?

Sent by JS | 4:36 PM | 2-14-2008

I beg to differ with Mr. Scallon. He like many others, overlooks the Orthodox Church's opinion on such matters. While it might be the decision of each Bishop as to where to stand on this issue, it's important to remember that there are more than two Christian voices in these debates. And I can assure him that the Catholic Church is not the only one that, "...remains committed to keeping the marriage bed pure..."

Sent by William Terrell | 4:58 PM | 2-14-2008

...We all know that Jesus only approves of the missionary position. This is laughable.

- a moderate conservative christian

Sent by Brandon Hodge | 5:12 PM | 2-14-2008

this is, frankly, disgusting. a couple should only engage in coital relations in order to produce offspring. these people are attempting to validate their concupiscent carnality with disinformation in order to fornicate, undoubtedly using birth control to murder their offspring before they are even conceived.

do not spill your seed, gentlemen. ever. and chasten your lustful demon-filled women by whatever means are necessary.

Sent by NF | 5:51 PM | 2-14-2008

the aids used look just like the type used in any sex site...putting a religious bent on the behavior, does not change the need to stimulate...and arouse...ridiculous.

Sent by Connie Bishop | 6:06 PM | 2-14-2008

If coital relations are only for producing children, then why do women have orgasms? Certainly, they're not required to get pregnant. God made sex fun for a reason. It is a very important, healthy activity for married couples (and loving adults) to enjoy.

Book22 sells a "pumping machine". Here's their text: This product is recommended for helping achieve an erection. Sold As Novelty Item Only. LOL!

This is just another store/business that preys on the religious to make money. Same dildos and "aids" as other stores but with a "Christian" slant.

Sent by LG | 7:19 PM | 2-14-2008

Dear Jodi,

Yes, condoms are used for other things, but the spermicide usually burns your lips when you blow those suckers up (or so I've heard).

Since their audience is conservative Christians who presumably weren't promiscuous before marriage, one could safely presume that the other use, mitigating the spread of S.T.D.'s, is moot.

Sent by Matthew Scallon | 7:56 PM | 2-14-2008

Dear William Terrell,

As a matter of fact, I didn't overlook my Eastern brothers, the Orthodox Church. The problem, sir, is that the Orthodox Church doesn't have an "opinion;" She has several opinions, in all directions, depending upon the nationality of the Church as well as how much secular politics influences the Church. Caesaropapism is still a problem in Orthodoxy.

While you may be one of the fortunate ones whose partriarch stands in the gap (and thank God for him), he is lonely voice even within Orthodoxy, sadly.

Now, I could be accused of overlooking the Providentialists (they prefer to call themselves Quiverfulls), but they are a small, small sect of Protestants, too small to count, even with their abundant family sizes.

Sent by Matthew Scallon | 8:05 PM | 2-14-2008

Dear NF,

Assuming that you're not trolling, I do hope you're a Quiverfull, because, if you're Catholic, you need to re-read (or possibly read for the first time) Humanae Vitae.

Conjugal love has two purposes: uniative and procreative. Your version denies the former. The Web site's host denies the latter, at least as it pertains to condoms.

You see, the Catholic Church does not oppose contraception. Let me repeat that: the Catholic Church does not oppose contraception. She opposes artificial contraception.

Let me use an analogy. Say there are two people, both of whom had $10,000 in credit card debt. One of them got a second job, brought a sack lunch rather than buying fast food, and stopped going to movies, using all of that money to pay off the debt. The other robbed a bank. Both of them paid off their debts. The latter even accomplished that feat faster. The former, however, paid off their debt without hurting anyone else.

That's how the Catholic Church sees contraception. Nature already has a means by which to control fertility, namely the non-fertile times in a woman's cycle. Nature also provides indicators as to when those fertile times are, should you desire to have children now.

As an aside, the Web site seems pretty good, condoms notwithstanding.

Sent by Matthew Scallon | 8:19 PM | 2-14-2008

Now I've heard everything. You need to go on to the website listed and see what this is really all about: as usual, making money. What about those moneychangers in the temple?

Sent by Hilary | 9:00 PM | 2-14-2008

whatever would we do without guardians of truth and purity like Mr. Scallon!? Gosh, he has answers to everything, and it all comes from holy momma the church! no mess, no fuss! One-stop shopping for the TRUTH. Just pick up the latest bulletin from Rome, and that's all she wrote! i'll sleep better tonight (alone!) knowing that our guardians are at work protecting us from error.

Sent by mike durham | 10:19 PM | 2-14-2008

Dear Matthew Scallon,
Sooo, you can't be a conservative Christian unless you were born one? People become believers everyday at all ages & with all kinds of baggage. Point, not so moot.

Sent by JJ | 11:41 PM | 2-14-2008

I believe there are at least two things that all Christians can agree on:

1) Our sexuality, like all of God???s creation, should be used to serve and glorify the Lord
2) In our culture, it is a struggle to accomplish this.

However, I see that we do have three tools at our disposal: a) A thorough examination of conscience, b) Prayerful discussion with one another; and c) An assessment of Holy Scripture. Friends, let us not attack another???s Christian traditions, but rather stick to points that will aid in enlightenment and understanding. I thoroughly appreciate the explanations given thus far ??? thank you.

Sent by Elizabeth Williams | 12:48 PM | 2-15-2008

Wait, Mr. Scallon, did you just compare condom use to robbing a bank? Really? And you're not being sarcastic?

Who, pray tell, is "hurt" when a married couple uses a condom? Because my preacher told me that sperm are FDIC insured, so it's not really that big a deal.

Sent by ungewiss | 12:50 PM | 2-15-2008

Dear mike durham,

If you don't like the truth, as you point, no one says you have to accept it. It would be nice, on occasion, if the sarcastic and skeptical would at least allow the Catholic Church a fair hearing in the free marketplace of ideas rather than simply dismiss it, as someone hear apparently does.

Sent by Matthew Scallon | 1:10 PM | 2-15-2008

Dear JJ,

I take your point. As my favorite Gospel musician, Fred Hammond, puts it, some of us haven't been good all our lives.

However, I don't believe --and deep down I don't think you do either-- that those condoms sales are exclusively for those who, before marrying and setting onto a Christian marriage, contracted an S.T.D. which they don't want to spread to their spouse.

So while the exception does test the rule, I still contend that most of those condoms sales are for the purpose of artificial contraception, a method of birth control condemned by Scripture. Your point, however, is well taken.

Sent by Matthew Scallon | 1:16 PM | 2-15-2008

The first comment asked if anyone else found it "comical" that they prayed about it and followed god's advice. I also find it comical because that's the same god that Bush said was leading him to murder 100,000 Iraqis. If that god is all knowing, why didn't he tell Bush that there were no WMDs? The same god will only speak about sex in ways that the prayer wants but is looking for some kind of artificial justification that supposedly can't be refuted. I don't believe that god talked to these people about sex any more than he/she talked to Bush.

Sent by David Kimball | 1:26 PM | 2-15-2008

Maybe it's just me, but sex toys and christianity seem mighty oxymoronic in nature... Seems a lot like christian rock and roll and all the other secular rip-offs that the Goddies flock to like good American consumers, rather copycat behavior, then of course "praying" about it makes it all okie-dokie with Jesus! How does this minority group in our society garner so much media attention? Millions of people all over the globe purchase sex toys and copious amounts of porn and never get a minute of media coverage, but a christian peddles sex toys and suddenly it's not porn, but God's work? Gimme a break... Comical, yes, Biblical, no effin' way! Peddle these kinds of wares in the sanctuary if they're not a bad thing and see what the congregation's reaction to porn in the pulpit becomes... Hypocrite is hypocrite, no matter the merchandise.

Sent by M.L. Koger | 2:04 PM | 2-15-2008

Dear ungewiss,

No, I didn't compare; I made an analogy, which is not the same as a comparison. Let me help you out by stating it another way. It's not birth control per se that the Catholic Church and Scripture opposes but rather the artificial method of birth control.

Now, it is funny that, when the Pope has something to say, it's treated suspiciously, but any preacher with a pulpit says something on a Sunday morning, and it's gospel. I know your comment was sarcastic, but I couldn't pass up a teachable moment.

Sent by Matthew Scallon | 2:05 PM | 2-15-2008

Dear David Kimball,

While I don't see how sex and the Iraq War have much to do with one another, let's get to the larger issue of God answering prayer.

As one person wrote two millenia ago, we receive not because we do not ask correctly, with a sincere and humble heart.

Also, the good God allows for free will. If someone prayers over whether to go to war and not and doesn't get the answer he wants, he may still act as wanted in the first place.

Now, I could talk about the Episcopalian priests and Reformed rabbis who pray on behalf of the abortion industry and their murdering 1.2 million last year, but I'm not going to continue on this tangent.

Sent by Matthew Scallon | 2:16 PM | 2-15-2008

I didn't say I don't like the truth. This proves my point: the "Truth" to folks like you (and "folks like you" are in every walk of life, every denomination of religion and every politcal party)is what the Church (or left-wing talk radio hosts or Rush Limbaugh or whoever) tells you it is, and not what you discover it to be through your own prayer or insight or struggle. And heaven forbid if anybody dares question your spoon-feeding others from your bowl of pre-chewed pablum.
I am saying, obviously sarcastically, that I find that your need to run to holy momma's apron strings for "THE TRUTH" when a subject like this comes up and then offer it up as though it was the LAST WORD on the matter says more about you than about any of us on here commenting on our own about something as patently absurd as "Christian Sex Toys."

Sent by mike durham | 3:54 PM | 2-15-2008

This is amazing to me, I would totally understand a store selling sex aids that was set up to be non-pornographic and offensive, however I think that it is sad that in order to do this we must point out "We Are CHRISTIAN". why not just say, hey I don't want to view graphic sexual images but I would really like to sell you a sex toy.

Sent by Nichole | 4:11 PM | 2-15-2008

Not sure why I find it so amusing to think about little fish symbols stamped on the condom packaging and sex toys.... Crosses on the porn packaging, with an admonishment to "Stop, pray and ask God's guidance" before using the products might be a nice touch as well... Could be it just feels ridiculous to assign a moral value to inanimate objects made from silicone and latex.... Or that the "holier-than-thou" crowd finally admits to its down and dirty ways, (finally...) If anyone can verify something I read about Latter Day Saints having the highest rates of porn viewing via internet and purchases of said porn in the nation, I'd appreciate it... Perhaps someone just printed that out of spite, then again... THINK, people, don't let anyone, Pope or otherwise, make your moral decisions for you. If it looks like a dildo, well, it probably is one... Now it's up to the individual to decide if this is truly "God's will." Capitalism dictates such behavior from the American consumer, religious minded or secular minded... Go on, now, be good little shoppers and spend that tax rebate buying sex toys. Who knows it could make people happier and less inclined to act violently? If it doesn't stimulate the economy, it may well jump start your sex life! And that's a bad thing? How?

Sent by M.L. Koger | 4:56 PM | 2-15-2008

I pray for sex all the time......

Sent by thistle | 5:52 PM | 2-15-2008

I wonder if it is worrisome to other evangelicals that Jesus might start spending all of his prayer-answering time helping these people pick out sex toys rather than making families' food nourishing and landing 737s safely. Presumably this would be neither Christmas Jesus nor Easter Jesus, but the long, tall, good-looking 21 year-old Nazarene Love Machine. Good God almighty, y'all, here He comes.

Sent by marcos el rubio | 6:01 PM | 2-15-2008

I didn't even catch the show, but who could pass up the headline?
You guys are great, all these comments- we humans crack me up, especially the American ones!
Thanks- in the name of GOD!

Dear Matthew Scallon,
I assume you are single.
And if not, I will pray for your wife.

Sent by PC | 9:29 PM | 2-15-2008

When I prayed about this online article I was surprised because Jesus told me that he didn't really tell you that about the toys. He said he actually said to you, "DON'T sell the toys." And... Um... I'm pretty sure that's the opposite of what you thought.

Sent by Dustin | 10:15 PM | 2-15-2008

Now I've heard it all! Grow up Christians! Who cares about your "Jesus" inspired love life.
Quit using him as a crutch.

A fed up Jew.
Flora

Sent by flora lovejoy | 2:15 AM | 2-16-2008

Okay humorless ones of God.... Think about it......Lordy lord. Don't you foolish people think God's laughing at this ridiculousness. Methinks he has bigger and more meaningful fish to fry. JJeeeeeeshh.

Sent by sarah | 2:35 AM | 2-16-2008

When moronic hypocrites breed, we have the question:
What dildo would Jesus buy?

LOL!

Sent by Dave Randolph | 8:33 AM | 2-16-2008

seems clear that religion still prompts christians to suffer guilt..and a christian sex toy then becomes 'guiltless'...try buddhism....no need for toys or guilt.
just plain innovation and love of the other.

Sent by phyllis mason | 10:45 AM | 2-16-2008

sex rules! Keep getting at it!

Sent by N/A | 1:05 PM | 2-16-2008

If ???52 Weeks of Naughty Nights??? isn???t porn, then what is.??? ???A years supply of scratch and win cards,??? I am quoting, ???with naughty I.O.U.'s, suggestions, coupons, role plays and more!??? Here is another description, ???Lelo's LILY is delicate and discrete with a silky-smooth surface and deceptively powerful vibration.??? A dildo called a ???stimulation sleeve??? is a ???product??? that ???is helpful when a married couple is unable to normally have sexual intercourse.??? I agree with LG above. This is a brilliant business plan. But hey, if conservatives need to pray about it to get off, then let them enjoy. Maybe they???ll quit trying to control everyone else???s sex lives. Alternatively, the comments on this thread suggest that conservatives might spend so much time arguing over what sex is God approved the same outcome will follow.

Sent by BT | 1:09 PM | 2-16-2008

Have you Christian folks even stopped to think about this. You are letting your imaginative friend, some invisible diety (no different then the mythological gods of ancient Greece and Rome)control your sex life! Free your minds and bodies from the repression of religion and allow your common sense and/or intuition to guide you.

Sent by Trista | 1:29 PM | 2-16-2008

I'm with you Will, it's seems like an oxymoron to me.

Sent by Noel | 6:17 PM | 2-16-2008

Did somebody mention orgasms?!

Sent by LG | 8:09 PM | 2-16-2008

just remember....the only bad sex is no sex.

Sent by tp studer | 9:06 PM | 2-16-2008

What I don't understand here is why these people are marketing items that are produced by companies that CLEARLY don't advocate their Christian values about sex. Why doesn't this couple create Christian condoms, Christian dildos, and Christian lube instead? That they are simply selling the items made by sex companies reveals what this is truly about: MONEY. This only goes to show that American evangelicalism really has blind spots when it comes to one of the biggest failings of Americans: Greed.

Sent by John | 11:21 PM | 2-16-2008

Dear PC,

Married for 15 months and have a four-month son. My wife always welcomes prayers, as do I, even when they aren't prayed correctly, as St. James put it.

Sent by Matthew Scallon | 11:51 PM | 2-16-2008

Dear mike durham,

So this is what you call listening, rejecting everything everyone says and characterizing everyone else as being stuck their Mom's. How open-minded.

Sent by Matthew Scallon | 11:54 PM | 2-16-2008

Dear Flora,

"Our" Jesus kept kosher; taught in the synagogue, and performed the Passover Seder. He's not just "our" Jesus.

Shalom! I'll pray that you can start feeding again.

Sent by Matthew Scallon | 11:57 PM | 2-16-2008

Dear phyllis mason,

I work with a Buddhist, and he's not so negative toward Christianity. I guess "love of the other" is not practiced by all Buddhist or may be practiced by some only in the breach.

Remember, phyllis mason, judgementality is bad karma.

Sent by Matthew Scallon | 12:16 AM | 2-17-2008

Dear Dave Randolph,

So far as moronic hypocrites are concerned, I could suggest consulting a mirror, but that would be unneccesarily mean.

Sent by Matthew Scallon | 12:17 AM | 2-17-2008

Dear mike durham,

One more thing. After you've gone through all "your own prayer or insight or struggle," and it turns out that the Catholic Church was right all along, then what? Would you declare yourself to be just another apron-grabber, or would you have to concede that those of us who adhere to Catholic Church's teaching might have come to acceptance through our "own prayer or insight or struggle?"

Sent by Matthew Scallon | 12:43 AM | 2-17-2008

This is just what our country needs. With the AIDs epidemic raging in Africa, Islam spreading throughout the Mid-East, and Feminism and Marxism infecting our schools, Christian erotic games and products will prove useful in our still chaste American century.

Sent by von Steuben | 10:20 AM | 2-17-2008

I'm sorry, but I just can't understand what makes these 'sex toys' any different than the regular ones that others use.
Frankly, I find this both absurd and about as lacking in Christian value as anything I can think of.
I think that some of the posters who said that this was a ploy for getting money from people while giving it a 'god touch' is just about right.

Sent by Marilyn | 2:22 PM | 2-17-2008

Dear Matt Scallon - You go, guy! Way to evangelize! JP2 is the bomb! I'll say one for your wife and son, and all little Scallons yet to come. Blessings be upon you all.

Sent by M. Glenn | 3:26 PM | 2-17-2008

I think this is great idea. Although I am not a Christian myself, I can see the point-- this site is not sleazy and it can help people who are bound to be a bit more uptight than the average Good Vibrations customer (I mean if people are too busy objecting to non-hetero couple products, they won't end up relaxing and getting their own thing, right?). Christians deserve good sex, too!

Sent by CB | 4:06 PM | 2-17-2008

Mrs. Wilson says: "..we live our lives very openly in front of Jesus.." Good! Does he stay and watch?

Sent by GP in Miami | 7:05 PM | 2-17-2008

People's self-imposed limitations to their sexuality and pleasure attributed to arbitrary supernatural beliefs is both humorous and sad.

Sent by Terry O. | 7:59 PM | 2-17-2008

This is pretty frightening stuff. We are killing thousands of people a year in Iraq, over a completely failed foreign policy... our answer to security is fencing off Mexico and taking away shampoo at airpots, our country is slurping up disappearing oil and building crappy, large-bore cars, our inner cities are war zones where half the people are unemployed, and we are actually having discussions about whether or not to use condoms for birth control? About the religious validity of sex toys and lingere'? And about what church is right about what? Wow. What a scary bunch of nonsense.

Sent by William Porter | 9:30 PM | 2-17-2008

I think everyone is missing one big point. Joy is a Christian, but she never said this was a Christian only site or called the items "Christian Sex Toys". Yes, NPR named the article this, no doubt to get some people curious, but that was not from Joy nor is it on her site.

The point is that one can buy these products without looking at pornographic images. They are re-packaged and the site is clean. That is what makes this business different than any other sex toy site, and that is why it is a good site for Christians, because Biblically pornography is wrong. And I know that pornography is not something that ONLY Christians have a problem with.

And BT, what is wrong with a game that adds a little spice to a married couple's sex life? Should Christians only be enjoying the missionary position?

Yes a business is a business, but I know there are a lot of people out there that are very happy this site is an option.

Sent by Jodi | 10:12 PM | 2-17-2008

Well, on the surface it may sound funny but Christianity does not forbid marital spouses (and in case of Song Solomon even committed Lovers)the kinky things. NT even seems to command that Man and woman should enjoy each other's body (euphemism for things sexual) within marital bond.

I must clarify the common misconceptions about verses quoted by Matthew Scallon. They do not in any case mean a command against contraceptives. As per the full Genesis account Onan was commanded by God to produce children with his sister-in-law so he could carry on his deceased brother's family. But Onan developed cold feet about it and during the coitus he ''spilled his seeds'' instead of using them for reproduction; as in he masturbated. That's how English lexicon also gets the grand word for the act, Onanism. Even to further expand on this, it was neither the use of contraception nor the act of masturbation that was punished. It was specifically for betrayal and disobedience that Onan was punished.

There is very relevant website that I think is relevant to mention under this story: www.themarriagebed.com. This website has lots of info about Christian marriage and sex. Happy reading.

Sent by Rajiv Thind | 11:19 PM | 2-17-2008

Finally, someplace to go without feeling guilty. Gee!

Sent by BR | 6:27 AM | 2-18-2008

NPR just can't get a more ridiculous story about Christians.

Sent by Juliet Calabrese | 11:02 AM | 2-18-2008

Behind closed (bedroom) doors one's choices re: sex is one's own business, sadly though it seems many people and not just Christians are still plagued by guilt re: something so natural beautiful and necessary. so, if a couple chooses another position other than the missionary one, or someone has a "kinky" thought are they being led by the devil? do these then lead one to believe they are sinful,will be punished,suffer damnation in the flames of hell? I wonder if the pressures of these false claims and imagined fears are the reasons some seek out pornography in the first place? God is watching, we are all the children of God, God is all forgiving, YET God will punish you for your sins. Who determines the rules as to what is sinful when it comes to sex? Sex itself or having sexual thoughts (which is natural)has fallen into the category of sin. I feel sorry for those who believe they need to pray for permission for tools, positions or anything do with something so natural as sex.

Sent by Barbara Purcell | 11:43 AM | 2-18-2008

This site is a joke, it is no different from the other adult toys site except for the references to Jesus and God, and maybe the exclusion of a few toys. But you have to b kidding me if you think this site is any different from the others. This once again demonstrates the hypocracy of religious faith!

Sent by zach | 12:27 PM | 2-18-2008

As a kid it???s fun to believe in mythical beings, but as one grows one should be able to let go of these fables and come to grips with the reality that these beings do not exist. Most folks by the time they hit puberty give up on Santa Clause, The Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy. Why, does this happen, because the evidence against their existence far outweighs the desire for them to exist. Imagine a 20 year old seriously looking for the Tooth Fairy to arrive to reimburse them for a tooth lost in baseball practice. This is the feeling I get when I hear adults talking about God like they think they know what they are talking about. In the end I guess ???believers??? are not dangerous. I???d rather have one of ???them??? living next to me???. rather than say???.. a car thief. But very religious people do exact a toll on society. They fuel the idea that there is only ???one way???, because of firmly rooted beliefs systems they further a closed minded and arrogant perspective that is counter productive in today???s world, they accept substandard explanations for complex questions, and they all to often accept prayer as a substitute for action (It is an understatement to say that more often than not digging wells with your hands does more good than praying for rain). The only humor to me in stories about the ???Joys of Christian Sex Toys??? is the reality that Joy Wilson found a way to make money off of the cognitively challenged and I did not. However, for all of you firm believers out there listen up I am about to E-Bay a slab of blue stone that bears a striking resemblance to you know who??????..

Sent by Andy Coven | 2:18 PM | 2-18-2008

Not totally surprised a site like this is on the Internet. Many products get a Christian labeled or slant assigned to them. So it???s always a question if a business is a Christian business working to make money verses a business using Christianity to make money. I???m thinking book 22 might be the former.

I find the comment section most interesting. Various view points and theologies as well as the inevitable Christian/Religion haters that always post.

Rajiv Thind interesting site and good exegetical skills.

Sent by Joshua C. | 3:00 PM | 2-18-2008

I think it's absolutely hilarious!! I mean, c'mon, obviously it's great for all you conservative christians, but you got to admit, it's funny. I mean, praying for which sex toys to have, that's funny...hmm...do I go w/ cherry, or strawberry flavor?

Sent by nino | 3:03 PM | 2-18-2008

This ranks with the most comical things I have come accross since 2008. Why don't you christians do what Solomon did to spice up his mirraage, get a few more wifes and some concubines LOL...Christian hypocrisy, is seems, has no bounds. How anyone takes this religion seriously is beyond me.

Sent by Eval | 3:42 PM | 2-18-2008

i'm mostly curious why secular commercial products are inadequate, and a "pure" website is needed. i don't like sour cream, but i still visit the dairy section of Pick 'N Save. what bothers me is today's Christian's apparent need to blindly obey authority. a mature, adult couple should be able to decide for themselves which sex products are acceptably "holy." prayer about sex is a good thing; just be sure that your answer comes from God and not from Joy's marketing decisions.

Sent by Ben | 6:41 PM | 2-18-2008

Wow. I'm amazed by all the derision. I don't share Joy's religious beliefs, but I welcome what she's doing. I hope that every HUMAN BEING finds the education, lack of shame/guilt, self-worth and, yes, sometimes the objects that help them make healthier choices about their sex lives.

Sent by Brandy | 7:32 PM | 2-18-2008

Why do people think that the story of Onan condemns masturbation or contraception? Nowhere are either of those ideas mentioned! Onan was told by his father to impregnate his dead older brothers' wife so she could bear proper heirs, thus cutting out the younger brother. He went to his sister-in-laws' bed, but pulled out so that she wouldn't get pregnant. From KJB:

And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled [it] on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother.

And for this disobeying of his father God killed him. Nowhere does it say it was because he masturbated. I imagine there were a few boys in those times who masturbated and just a few men who pulled out to avoid pregnancy - NOWHERE in the bible are they mentioned. This is NOT a story about immoral sex but about disobedience.

Sent by Stephen Blythe | 9:06 PM | 2-18-2008

Dear Rajiv Thind,

I thank you for your thoughtful post, but I respectfully disagree.

First off, I didn't quote Gen 38:7-10; I merely cited it (nitpick, I know), along with another verse, which I incorrectly cited as Duet 27:7-10 but should be Duet. 23:1. My bad.

Certainly, Rajiv Thind, your exegete has been the exegete which has been used to explain away Onanism after 1930. Funny thing is that no one used that explanation for Onanism before 1930. That means that, for your exegete to work would mean that the Holy Ghost has been lying for 2500 years. I suggest that you research what Martin Luther, John Calvin, and John Wesley wrote in regard to their exegesis regarding Onanism; none of these men were even Catholic.

Now, to the text itself. There is no mention of Onan masterbating. It's not as though the Hebrew didn't have a word for it either, since it's mentioned in Judges. Rather, Onan "goes into his brother's wife," and then, right before ejaculation, "spills his seed on the ground." That's not masterbation; that's called coitus interruptus, which is a form of artificial contraception (and not a very good one, either). Now, if it were about disobedience, as Stephen Blythe claims, then, according to Duet 25:8-10, the punishment for such disobedience would be public humiliation, not death. So it wasn't the disobedience per se which caused his death, but rather the method by which Onan chose to disobey.

There is also the other citation I miscited, Duet. 23:1, in which men who have their genitals crushed or removed (yikes!) cannot participate in the assembly. This practice was a method of artificial contraception.

So there you have two examples of artificial contraception in the Scripture, both of which are condemned. By the witness of two, as the Torah reads, you can pass judgement.

Now, I realize that this is a difficult thing for Americans, in its fast-food mentality, to accept. Christianity is a tough religion to practice; little wonder why we constantly get accused of hypocrisy by those who practice no religion at all. But not conforming to the ways of this world is what Christians are called to do, which includes standing in the gap against Onanism.

Sent by Matthew Scallon | 9:44 PM | 2-18-2008

I am still trying to pick myself up off the floor after hearing this story!!! C'mon people, no matter how you package (or sell, or pray about) it, a sex toy is still a sex toy. But hey, I suppose if buying your sex toy off a website that quotes scripture makes you fell better about it, then hey, whatever tickles your...um...I mean whatever floats your boat!

Sent by maxb | 10:12 PM | 2-18-2008

May I point out that those 2 Torah scriptures where artificial contraception was condemned was not a "blanket" condemnation for all time, but was a specific incident where God commanded someone to produce offspring and he disobeyed. The other reference is a specific Jewish cultural practice of the time where if someone died, their brother was obligated to keep propogating the family line. This is NOT part of the New Testament in any way or form, it was part of the Law of Moses, which we are not under anymore-- check out Romans. Freedom in Christ, Brother Matthew.

Sent by Andra | 10:13 PM | 2-18-2008

American ingenuity! Is this goofy or what? Anyway, to all you entrepreneurs out there - don't give up. There's money just laying on the sidewalk. You just need a way to figure out the quickest way to pick it up. Looks like Joy found a way - all in the name of Jesus or the dollar?

Sent by Caroline Bond | 11:03 PM | 2-18-2008

Rajiv & Stephen -- thank you for being voices of clarity in this parade. I commend Joy for what she's doing! I know God cares about sex -- He showed me the lies I formerly believed about His gift of sex (yep, it's all His idea), and then showed me His perspectve -- which revolutionized my marriage, after 17 abysmal years. It's been a beautiful 5 years since. I also highly recommend both Book 22 and The Marriage Bed (www.themarriagebed.com) to get an understanding of how people both follow Jesus, and enjoy sex in their marriages. Most of the negative comments here indicate two things: that Christians have done a BAD job of enjoying God's gift of sex (as well as judging and condeming others); and that folks outside the Church (universal) have an understandably BAD view of both Christians and God. I'd like to ask forgiveness, on behalf of Christians, for how we've been such poor representatives of God, and really given Him a bad name. It's amazing, really, that He not only puts up with us, but keeps on loving us. Yup, amazing grace. May we all see Him as He is, & ourselves and each other as He does. Shalom, Dena

Sent by Dena Brehm | 1:56 AM | 2-19-2008

I suspect that even with a store like this to provide toys and such, that christians, on the average, are still having relatively bad sex, or not much sex at all. Guess that's what comes of following a religion that despises the human body, and tries to sublimate its natural urges, rather than try to understand them, and live comfortably with them.

Sent by angsty | 9:12 AM | 2-19-2008

The term "missionary position" evokes in my mind the classic New Yorker cartoon image of the pudgy white guys in pith helmets and safari jackets in a large kettle of boiling water, surrounded by hungry dancing natives.

Sent by R. Greene | 9:20 AM | 2-19-2008

To Mr. Willaim Porter,

Well said. My friend who is a political activist, often says, "Bread and circuses, bread and circuses...." Keep the spotlight on the trivial, while ignoring the bigger issues. How American.... How sad.... How dysfunctional....

Sent by M.L. Koger | 9:41 AM | 2-19-2008

In reading the posts about this topic, the one thing that is apparent is that religion does bring up various and strong feelings. However, based on my experience of listening to this show, BPP has done a rather poor job of treating religion seriously.

No matter what you think of the validity of Christian sex toys, I think we all can admit that this was a fluff piece. However, this "end-of-the-show, let's put a smile on your face piece" has become the most e-mailed link and has garnered a debate that you would need to look up terms in a theological dictionary.

Perhpas what would be a better piece and something that is more interesting is an honest look at comtemporary religious belief and non-belief that goes beyond the two sides that seem most represented. Those being on the one hand, a form of medieval triumphalism. And on the other hand, a response that is worthy of a freshman college philosophy 101 class.

My experience shows my that most people are not represented adequately by either side. Rather they (perhaps I should put me in the they and say we?) are trying to make sense of a feeling/experience. However, being told that an never-changing tradition is correct or that we are just looking for the Eastr Bunny doesn't cut it and that the extremes, while comfortable for some people, is like trying to put on a pair of pants two sizes too small, i.e. they look bad and will eventually cause you to stop breathing.

I believe, I hope, that this program can be an intelligent voice in this part of people's lives and goes beyond the two poles that we have been offered here.

Sent by Rob H. | 1:52 PM | 2-19-2008

So many comments, should I even bother adding mine? Sure, why not.

1. I appreciate the exasperation of some people with a religious culture that believes war is a justifiable evil and pornography and anal penetration are unjustifiable abominations. However, I don't see any direct link between the Iraq War and Joy's website, so I don't think it's fair to lay all that on her.

2. I don't understand why so many of the religious folks are so mean to each other in these comments. Theological debates are inevitable, but why can't they be mutually respectful? Just another reason why I choose to abstain from religion.

3. As a non-Christian who is incredibly liberal about all things sexual, I was surprised to find that I was surprised and a little repulsed by the rabbit-shaped vibrator. I suppose it doesn't hurt anyone, but what's so sexy about animal-shaped sex toys? Big resounding "ick" from me on that one.

4. Whatever my opinions on the products, the religion, and the online store, I can't see that Joy and her husband are doing this for the money, and I think they are doing a service to the Christian community by giving them somewhere to shop that is free of "offensive," as well as encouraging them to see sex play as a healthy, even sacred part of marriage.

That said, I agree with Nicole: why don't secular folks have a place to shop that both eliminates "offensive" and tacky images as well as what for many of us are offensive religious messages about sex?

Sent by Mathilde Scribner | 4:27 PM | 2-19-2008

"The Song of Solomon is metaphorical. God's love for the people of Israel told about as if were a husband's love for his wife."

The fact that it is that does not prevent it from being more than that.

Sent by Bob | 6:33 PM | 2-19-2008

Wow! I had actually been praying about just such a thing! My husband and I middle age, been married over 30 yrs! We have wanted to enhance our intimate life but did not want to contribute to the "industry." Imagine finding the answer on NPR!! I have always loved NPR!

Sent by M King | 7:49 PM | 2-19-2008

Fantastic how many anxieties are created by religious doctrine and myth - have faith and do good but liberate yourselves and have more faith - repeat as prescribed.

Sent by will | 7:52 PM | 2-19-2008

Matthew Scallon: Regrettably you seem to be cocooned in literalism and strong prejudices. Before I get to the liberal and redeeming aspects in the scripture I must underline that theology itself is a continuum and religious scriptures should be interpreted as per our latest understanding. I personally believe in Individual soul liberty and am not bound by any isms or dogmas. In these theocratic debates people often forget the most important Christian commandment of all, which is LOVE. Now let me get to the specifics.

1.) Yes I do understand that Onan practised coitus interruptus, but many see it as masturbation of sorts as the word Onanism nowadays conveys. Interesting, you give it the sanitary name of 'coitus interruptus' first and then claim that it was because of the very filthy nature of this 'disobedience' that Onan was killed instead of being just humiliated.

On the other hand I remember God killed a guy (Uzza) in Bible because he disobeyed the commandment that the Ark of covenant should not be ''touched''. And Uzza touched it- quite unwittingly at that. But nonetheless he was killed on the spot because God was indeed very angry for disobedience. And now would you go and make a case that Uzza touched th Ark in a dirty or sexual way? Because if it was not done in a filthy manner Uzza would only be humiliated? Sorry, but your logic about Onan's ''method'' is just absurd.

2.) Now your claims about Eunuchs being unacceptable to God because they represented contraception is even more absurd, especially as they did not even become Eunuchs by their own choice!

But even Bible certainly has more to say about Eunuchs. Jesus himself acknowledges the existence of Eunuchs or sexless men (Matthew 19:12) ''For some are Eunuchs because they are born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven.'' (Some Liberal theologians even claim this also is a reference to gay men)

Moreover, I would like you and others to read this from Bible:

Isaiah 56:3-5 ".....neither let the eunuch say, Behold, I am a dry tree. For thus saith the LORD unto the eunuchs that keep my sabbaths, and choose the things that please me, and take hold of my covenant; Even unto them will I give in mine house and within my walls a place and a name better than of sons and of daughters: I will give them an everlasting name, that shall not be cut off."

So, my fellow Christian friend, your mythic sanitary Christianity made up of testosterone filled holy men is just a pompous prejudice. Even Jesus says in Matthew 9: ''It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick... For I have not come to call the righteous but the sinners''

And Paul reminds us in Romans, ''There is no one who is righteous, not even one''

Sent by Rajiv Thind | 9:17 PM | 2-19-2008

People, there is no god and Jesus is some dude who died over two thousand years ago. Give it up. Jesus Christ!!!!

Sent by JP | 9:49 PM | 2-19-2008

I'm struck by two thoughts. The first: good for them. Everyone needs a good sex life. More power to them.

The second: this is extremely hypocritical - a sex toy shop that is dictated by Jesus? Really? That makes it very easy to condemn everyone else who uses toys not approved by JC doesn't it? WSTWJR (What Sex Toys Would Jesus Recommend). Sounds like more of the same. Can you imagine the debates - which toys are holy and ok? Very interesting times.

But really, hope all visitors and etc. are having a great time. Go sex toys!

Sent by Aleisha | 10:15 PM | 2-19-2008

I'm sorry but I have a hard time praying to God about a decision of whether to get the hand held vibrator or rotating pearl dildo...I think he has bigger things to deal to handle...and I am not talking about extensions.

Sent by concerned christian | 10:58 PM | 2-19-2008

I'm not a Christian, and I find the religious discourse boring...not irrelevant because I think religion's just beneath the surface of most horrible things people inflict on one another...but boring none-the-less. I also think a vibrator has no religious affiliation. It's just a vibrator. All that said, if this site makes it easier for folks feeling repressed by religious convictions to find a new way to play together lovingly, well then great. But praying to God for product selections...give it a rest. If there is a God I think his time might be better spent putting an end to other things - mindless suffering, starvation, slaughter, racism, extreme poverty, humans destroying the planet...get the idea? Then, and only then, choosing vibrators.

Sent by Steve | 11:55 PM | 2-19-2008

The post here demonstrates a very sad fact concerning peoples knowledge, or rather extreme lack of knowledge, of what Christianity really is.

Joy Wilson no more a Christian than the corner prostitute.
She is a hypocrite that presents a very false image of Christianity, and as we have clearly seen here, brings an evil reproach on the true God, and on the truth of God, and on the name Christian.

Itr is very sad that people will judge Christianity by by such unrighteous.
The world is truly flooded with an extreme ignorance and misconception of God, the word of God, and all things that are Godly.

There is nothimng Godly or Christian about Joy Wilson'd enterprises.
If you want to know about God and true Godliness, and what true Christianity is all about. Buy you a good King James Bible. Pray for true understanding, then diligently read and study that Bible. And believe that it says what it means; and means what it says.
God and true Christianity is absolutely nothing like what the world believes it is, or that it is portrayued to be.

Sent by J. Paul Jaxckson | 1:59 AM | 2-20-2008

LOL, their website says they only sell to married couples. I REALLY want to know how they verify that! And what if one just wanted to purchase a toy for individual use, you know, for masturbating oneself til passing out after a long night of praying. This is just another case of someone exploiting religion in order to make a buck. I highly doubt God's answering anyone's prayers on which color vibrator to add to the collection, pfft!

Sent by whatacrock | 2:09 AM | 2-20-2008

Matthew,
I find it interesting, as you are Catholic, that you did not site the Catechism of the Catholic Church (or The Teaching of Christ, but I will stick to the CCC for the moment). In fact it could be possible that your foray into this topic might be going against the CCC 2521-2524. I am interested in the reasons why you a chosen not to bring the CCC in this discussion.

Sent by Tonette | 9:12 AM | 2-20-2008

I almost wish, for Joy's sake, that she had used a pseudonym. So much hateful commentary directed her way can't be easy to bear. People should be ashamed of themselves. As for who is a real Christian and who isn't, that's for God to determine. I mean jeez, I'm not even religious and I know that!

I also don't see why Joy should put her very harmless and potentially helpful project on hold in order to try solve the greater problems of the world. Are any of the people who are going on about world hunger, war, and the like really poised to prioritize world peace and prosperity over their own everyday needs and life concerns? Give the woman a break, for goodness sake.

Sent by K. Balma | 9:51 AM | 2-20-2008

My husband and I have been married for 2 years and we're in our mid/late twenties. We were both brought up Lutheran and there is not a day that passes that I don't thank God for my husband. I'm pleased to say we have a VERY healthy sex life and it only makes our relationship stronger. I don't think at all that God frowns upon our intimacy, but rather is happy that we are, within the marital bonds, pleasing each other. Sex toys? I won't lie, we have some and you know what, not only are they fun but they help open our lines of communication on a new level (not just sexually either). I think perhaps if couples were more open both verbally and sexually, there might not be so many cheating individuals or divorced couples.

Sent by Jody | 1:09 PM | 2-20-2008

@J Paul Jackson

So you say to use a bible that was translated by the King of England, and the translation was used to promote his point of view.

Don't believe me, check out a German bible, and have that translated, and see how much is different that the KJ version. Try a French bible as well. It is also different.

Sent by David W Reece | 1:14 PM | 2-20-2008

The issue addressed in Genesis 38 is neither that of contraception nor that of obedience. Rather, the issue addressed is the abuse of the powerless in society.

Ancient Israelite society practiced primogeniture (eldest son gets a preferential share) as the method of inheritence. The eldest son recieved an extra share. Thus, when Judah died, Er (the eldest) would then inherit one half of his father's estate, as his two brothers would each inherit one quarter. If Er would die leaving no male descendent, then Onan would inherit two-thirds of Judah's estate, and the other brother Shelah would have one-third. Onan stood to gain nothing by impregnating Tamar. He thus chose to ignore the societal mechanism known as levirate marriage, by which the closest male kin to the deceased would create an heir for the dead man.

Tamar was powerless. All women in this society literally belonged to male households. When Er died, she became a member of Judah's household, and would have faced whatever fate Onan had deemed (e.g., concubine, expulsion) upon Judah's death. Onan was killed not for the act of withdrawal, but for the act of denying the legal rights of Tamar to her dead husband's future estate (through the son produced by levirate marriage), so that he could enrich himself at her expense.

Deuteronomy 23:1 is not describing some trendy method of birth control (common sense should eliminate this explanation). It is instead prohibiting those considered ritually impure from gaining access to ritually holy areas. The notion is that since death and decay are not found in the realm that God lives in, He cannot have contact in ritually pure sites in the mundane world with death or its symptoms. . .such as blood, pus, or mold.

Sent by Mark Anthony Phelps | 3:46 PM | 2-20-2008

Right! why do people feel the NEED to keep responding to others telling them how wrong they are...? (you know who you are, STOP IT). Jesus didn't judge. Most of the people commenting here are judging the next guy. TELL ME I'M WRONG, I DARE YA...

Sent by Johi | 6:26 PM | 2-20-2008

Interesting, Mohammad was given the Koran, Moses was given the Ten Commandments and Joy is given a sex shop. How times have changed. Time for me to pray harder. Wait I think I hear God now, "my son, get another jelly doughnut". Seriously, I was raised Catholic, became a born again only to leave the Methodist Church and now have strong feelings toward Agnosticism and Deism. The bottom line is as follows: 1) 100 years, all new people. 2) I hear voices too but they have not yet made me money. 3) If you do not like what someone is doing look away. 4) If someone feels solace in thier actions let them be as long as they are not hurting anyone. A good sales pitch is not hurting anyone. 5) If by doing a particular action, you feel you may sin against your God, which is my god, Mohommads God and anyone elses God who has a God then do not partake. 6) Love your God. Love your neighbor.

Sent by Craig | 11:08 PM | 2-20-2008

"do not spill your seed, gentlemen. ever. and chasten your lustful demon-filled women by whatever means are necessary."

Wow, in case the less net savvy readers haven't noticed, most of these type comments are trolls. comments disguised to mislead or cause false assumptions to be made.

Sent by Jason | 1:39 PM | 2-21-2008

How many of you are aware that the Bishops' commission of the Catholic Church tasked with the issue of contraception came back with the recommendation to approve birth control pills? A cradle Catholic, I learned this fact in a healthcare ethics class which I recently took. The pope's encyclical did not follow the Bishops' recommendations.

Sent by Mary Louise | 7:42 PM | 2-21-2008

Dear Mike Durham,
You brought up basing decisions off of our own prayer, struggles and insight. The beauty is the Catholic Church, being based off of Scripture AND Tradition has 2000 years of struggles, insights, and prayers. The Church is the whole community of believers, and when we have an entire bank of others' experiences we can form opinions without having to make the mistakes ourselves. That is the beauty of the fullness of truth.

Sent by Caroline Kurtz | 9:03 PM | 2-21-2008

Would someone PLEASE tell me where in the Bible God commands us NOT to enjoy sex?

I challenge anyone to find just one, ONE passage in which God commands us NOT to enjoy sex. He DOESN'T!

To find sexual fulfillment in our marriages, we must first understand God's design for sex. We were created by God as sexual beings. Our bodies are fearfully and wonderfully made according to Psalm 139:14. Part of the physical creation that God gave to us is the gift of sex. There are some people who may think that God tolerates sex just for the purpose of procreation, but that He doesn't expect us to enjoy it. That statement couldn't be farther from the truth. The wonderful pleasure that comes from sex is no mistake; God intended married couples to enjoy sex to its fullest.

Although it's true that God intends us to enjoy one another sexually, there are certain parameters that we cannot ignore. The Bible states that sex outside of marriage is wrong. God intended for sex to be shared within a committed, God-centered relationship between a man and a woman. Anything apart from that is sin. Today, we hear many voices that say these Biblical standards are outdated and obsolete. People claim to have found freedom from the shackles of sexual restraints by adopting an "anything goes" lifestyle and attitude related to sex.

The instruction manual
So how has this liberated attitude toward sex affected our society? Its proponents believe they have found freedom and satisfaction without consequence. But the consequences are very real, and the statistics are staggering. Today, an estimated one in five Americans is infected with a viral sexually transmitted disease. There are 900,000 new cases of HIV diagnosed every year in the U.S. Unwanted pregnancies result in 1.3 million abortions each year in America. Turning our backs on God's design for sex has produced a literal nightmare of disease and even death.

God has given us sexual boundaries for our pleasure and also for our protection. When you purchase a new car, you are given an instruction manual from the manufacturer. The instruction manual gives guidelines on how to properly operate your new car so that you will gain the most satisfaction from it. Life also comes with an instruction manual ? the Bible. If we choose not to abide by the instructions that are given us in God's Word, then we cannot place blame on God when problems result.

A river of pleasure
The only place to find fulfillment in sex is within a relationship that is based on intimacy and trust. When you give yourself sexually to another person, it's important to know that this person is someone you can trust. That kind of trust is found only within the Biblical standard of a committed marriage relationship. In our world today, there are many who indulge in one-night stands and short-lived "flings." A sexual partner may say he or she is committed to you today, but tomorrow may be gone.

Some people hold the belief that sex with one partner is boring and unsatisfying. Actually, the opposite is true. Research indicates that longevity of relationship usually improves a couple's sexual satisfaction. In an article for Parade magazine (March 1994), Dr. Georgia Witkin, assistant professor of psychiatry and reproductive sciences at Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York City, dispels the myth that a long-term sexual relationship breeds discontent. She states, "Most long-term couples do not suffer from sexual boredom," adding that, "When it comes to sex, familiarity breeds contentment rather than boredom."

God's wonderful plan for sex in marriage brings fulfillment with no risk of disease and the accompanying heartache. When a couple is practicing monogamous, heterosexual sex, disease is not even an issue. Sex outside of marriage is like drinking from a stagnant pond in which reside all types of fungus and bacteria. The next drink may bring you disease and even death. But sex within marriage is like taking a deep, refreshing drink from a pure, sparkling clean river that never runs dry.

The Bible is clear on the biblical parameters for marriage.

NO adultery, fornication, fantasy (lust), homosexuality, bestiality, incest, etc. Following are a few scriptures that are clear about these issues; however, there are many more:

Leviticus 18:6-23
Matthew 5:27-28
Romans 13:13-14
I Corinthians 6:15-18

If the Bible isn???t specific about a certain act, it is a matter of personal choice and conscience. For instance, the most common questions are regarding oral sex, vibrators or sex toys, different sexual positions, sexual fantasy, etc. To determine whether it is something that they should practice in their sexual relationship, a couple should examine how it falls under the following criteria:

Is it forbidden in the Bible?
Does it violate my conscience before God?
Does it violate my spouse or is it against his or her will?
Is this physically safe? Does it cause harm to me or to my spouse? Are there health risks involved?
Does this treat my spouse in a disrespectful manner or damage our relationship?
These are important questions that you both must consider. If you and your spouse disagree on a certain sexual practice, it is important to wait and pray about it. Don???t violate one another, but pray for God to show each of you truth. God delights in us and wants us to enjoy our marriage and develop physical intimacy with our mate. He is not a legalist. God gave us the parameters for our protection, but the freedom to have a wonderful, creative, energetic sexual relationship abounds for us to enjoy.

Frequency is a topic that often comes up when discussing this subject. It is important to know that every couple will have a different rate of frequency. The key is for couples to agree on what the amount of frequency should be for their relationship. Normal sexual frequency constitutes a range of from once a month to several times a week. Many, many factors play into the rate of frequency?such as age, stress levels, health, etc. Again, the key is for couples to commit to meet each other???s needs aggressively and sensitively.

marriagetoday.org

Sent by JM | 10:35 PM | 2-23-2008

I know this forum has become quite long but I cannot help mentioning something. It seems that people mostly tend to interpret Bible for their own self- interest and- in worse cases- to confirm their own prejudices. Now, this is a very human thing to do. There is nothing wrong with this as long as it does not cut or harm other people.

So, it is up to people's conscience to interpret Bible or other religious texts for that matter.

Literal interpretation is another dangerous territory. In Old Testament there are commands like death penalty for people who wore certain kinds of mismatching clothes or fabrics, death penalty for homosexuals (something that is still practised in many Muslim countries as per Sharia laws). There are other OT laws that say that if a man rapes a woman he must make restitution afterwards and promise to marry the woman he has raped, people with Leprosy are dirty or sinful, so are menstruating women who must be kept away from temple. You may wonder if I am quoting the words of a madman but this is all in the Bible.

This is why I not only shun literalism but am genuinely scared of it. Common sense must prevail and Bible ought to be interpreted wisely and as per our new understanding based on reason, love, compassion, tolerance, respect for civil liberties, new scientific, medical discoveries.

Shalom and Peace to all.
Rajiv.

Sent by Rajiv Thind | 8:09 PM | 2-24-2008

PS.- By the way, I forgot to mention that visit to Joy's website (www.book22.com) itself confuses me. I wouldn't know how to use half of those fancy Christmassy contraptions. I hope they send elaborate instruction manuals with them that mention more than, ''No holds barred.''

I also hope that couples who need them will benefit from them. I personally think that sex toys are sex toys and there is nothing Christian or pagan about it.

Other than that Joy's website mentions, ''We believe that God intended that such love, as spoken of in Song of Solomon, be a beautiful and normal part of marital life.''

''WE BELIEVE''... Marital life? I'm sorry to be nosy but BOOK 22 i.e Song of Solomon only seems to mention erotic frolicking between two LOVERS. Not even once has it been mentioned that they are married. The male lover even mentions the woman as his ''sister'' a couple of times which may mean cousin or endearing pet name. In any case, so much for literal assumptions about Incest and Fornication.

So, boys and girls welcome to the Age of Aquarius and Relativism. :-)

Sent by Rajiv Thind | 9:23 PM | 2-24-2008

I am glad to have a place to buy items to enhance our sex life without the porn and other unacceptable material. It is great that someone else is doing some of the homework to discern what is appropriate. I am sure I won't always agree with what should or should not be included, but that is fine. I also don't expect person's who don't choose to live by Biblical principals to understand why Christians do these kind of things. Unfortunately Christians are slow to step out like she has done and offer acceptable alternatives like this. May God bless this wonderful new ministry and business.

Sent by Richard Fisher | 11:01 PM | 2-27-2008

To all the I-can't-believe-Joy-has-the-audacity-to-run-
an-internet-business-when-there's-an-unjust-
war-on haters: I suppose that you, yourselves, do NOTHING in the course of an average day that is not demonstrably related to social justice? Clearly you have no hobbies, you don't spend time with friends, and you CERTAINLY don't operate a home business, right? Because clearly, by your own logic, if you did any of those things you would be among the snottiest of hypocrites, the very leftier-than-thou elitist blowhards that make so many Americans think the antiwar movement is irrelevant and silly. And I say this as someone who is and always has been 100 percent opposed to the war in Iraq.

To the others who still (and really, this is kind of cute) think that it's some big antiestablishment GOTCHA! to level criticisms against organized religion in general, or Christianity in particular, to all and sundry: I suppose YOU have no unexamined assumptions? No ideas which you got from others? You just invented your entire worldview completely on your own, rather than simply accepting entire conceptual clusters on the authority of sources you find trustworthy? Well, see, that's funny, because it means that you got this idea -- that organized religion anesthetizes the unthinking masses of sheeple who do not have the good fortune to be as smart as YOU are -- out of your own precious imagination. Which is really a *heck* of a coincidence, seeing as how it's... how to put this... ONE OF THE TRITEST CLICHES IN THE SOCIO-CULTURAL SETTING KNOWN AS AMERICA, 2008? Almost as stale as "spiritual but not religious." Good grief, it would be amusing if it weren't so sad, how often people trot out their antireligious sentiments as though they are interesting, countercultural, or even surprising. Look, Amish? That's countercultural, for good or ill. Huffily decrying Christianity as hypocritical, just like all of your "freethinking" friends? Snoooooooore. Believe it or not, religious people have heard this already. Calling Jesus our "imaginary friend" is not - as hard as it is to believe - a crushing blow to our beliefs. It's not even a "new one," as they say. It's tired. It's old. Please at least come up with some new material. Thanks much.

Sent by Burly Deeelight. | 9:33 PM | 3-18-2008

Some people will say anything to make the almighty dollar.just remember where it might send you too.

Sent by r howard | 4:59 AM | 3-26-2008

Now honestly, does this mean sex dolls are good as well? Maybe as long as they're not molded or based on an actual person? I'd like to get JM's opinion on this.

Sent by J Singer | 2:31 AM | 3-31-2008

Isn't it ironic that when it clearly says in the Bible to 'judge not, least ye be judged', we all Christians can't help but do so? And the worse of it is, we do it to our supposed brothers and sisters in Christ.

Whether or not Joy got her 'inspiration' from Jesus or not isn't the point. That's between her and God.

If, as a Christian, you believe sex toys are sinful, then by all means turn away and don't buy. Or does it simply feel good to bash her and condemn her actions in a forum where no one knows you or sees you? Besides, if all Christians believe sex toys are wrong, her shop will go bankrupt anyway.

Sent by LC | 7:30 AM | 4-5-2008

First I???d like to state this to the people bashing the site for broadcasting it???s supposed ???Christian??? stance on the sex toy industry.

As a Christian, I am interested in purchasing these sort of things, I have no problem with it myself, nor with anyone else. I have had opposition from some older people, but I???ve also had??? well, not approval, but more like acknowledgment of the fact from others.

I???ve been in Hot Topic, and Spencer???s, and I???ve been all over the internet trying to find stuff, and have been dismayed at what I???ve seen there, and where I???ve seen it. It seems that most sites only market to homosexuals and those in the BDSM lifestyle. I???m not homosexual, nor do I live a BDSM lifestyle, nor do I particularly wish to support an industry that is led by them.

I welcome a ???Christian??? site for this, even if it is just a money hog, if the produce is presented in a decent manner. No human models, no porn pages, no videos, ect??? just toys.

Even as a guy, I don???t wanna go to some gay site to buy stuff, it???s embarrassing to see. It???s not hypocrisy, it???s discretion.

If these products help build a healthy sex life between married couples, why bash it? If a healthy sex life between a married couple glorifies God, why shouldn???t it be done in prayerful consideration for His will concerning the matter?

To Matthew Scallon,
God bless you man, God bless you. Your logic is refreshing.
God speed,
your Protestant Brother.

To the atheists who???ve posted,
I find some of your remarks humorous, you say we are arrogant for believing in only one way, when you can be equally arrogant by saying that there is only every way. Is it blind to follow a way of life that has been proven (to us anyway) to be reliable and trustworthy? And to those who wail against religion need to remember what religion is, and realize that atheism is a religion too.

On the matter of masturbation, and this is just my personal view with some limited biblical understanding thrown in.

Sex and sexual things belong in marriage. Certain intent for touches, types of touches, and locations can be sexual, and therefore should be restricted to married couples. Masturbation is both purposeful, with sexual touch, and on or in or around a sex organ, therefore (by my definition) masturbation is a sexual practice that should be used only between a married couple. This is not taking into consideration any argument for or against artificial contraception. If you don???t like this definition, then just consider this: is masturbating before marriage giving yourself a pleasure at your future spouse???s expense, being that that pleasure is experienced before it is legitimately given by the spouse?

And finally, someone, I forget who, made the comment that Jesus never judged. Which is wrong. He did judge, He alone is qualified TO judge, and He will be judge again.

Sent by j.smith | 2:08 AM | 4-11-2008

Joy, you are making a mockery of the sex industry. Everyone deserves pleasure. I sell to all types, no discression. Isn't that up to God ANYWAY???

Sent by celeste | 2:32 PM | 4-18-2008

I just had a question pop in my head after reading comment by Celeste. Would Joy refuse to sell these products to Muslims, Buddhists, New Agers, Atheists etc. if they wished to buy these? Would that be blasphemous to sell Christian sex toys to non Christians?

Sent by Rajiv Thind | 8:19 PM | 4-19-2008

I don't think god guides anyone in choosing their masturbation tools but we can help http://www.erotic-toyz.com

Sent by SexToyLover | 10:37 AM | 5-11-2008

I am amrried and having no troubles with our sex life. However, my wife and I went to a winery to just look around. we dont even drink the stuff. Anyway, the had a grape stomping contest and she did it. I seem to have a foot fetish with her and it dose arouse me . It dose not take the place of our making love, that is so speical. I dont know if this is a sin or not. She touches me with her hands but is it a sin if she touches my with her feet? We are both Christains and we pure at marriage. Thank you , ggr

Sent by G. Riggs | 9:39 PM | 5-14-2008

As I was reading through the MANY comments I began wondering if this was a Christian forum or just a bash fest. I was so relieved to read j.smith's comment!! I could not agree with you more.
I don't know why Christians don't have the best sex lives out there?!?! God created woman for man, as a partner. He made the act of sex pleasurable for both man and woman to bond them together! I am a Christian married woman who enjoys sex with her husband! Why in the world is it wrong of me to want to have a fun sex life with my husband. With all the trash that is out there, shouldn't a husband turn to his wife and a wife to her husband to be to each other all that God intended? I am so disheartened at some of the comments I read on here. As Christians we should be building each other up not tearing each other down. If there is a site where a married couple can go to find things to enrich their sex life, great!!!! My hope for every married couple is a wonderful healthy marriage. To Joy, thank you for providing a porn free place for Christian couples to explore and have fun TOGETHER!

l.morris

Sent by l.morris | 10:38 PM | 5-14-2008

This debate is so heated! But I can easily see that- it's about sex and religion. Just a couple things. Joy doesn't ever say "Jesus told me to." Also, I think the sex shop is great! It'd be nice if the lines would be blurred - non-Christians would like to shop for such things without being bombarded by trash just as much. I personally believe that sex is for marriage, but I'm not about to condemn those with opposing views - besides, who does not need to improve their sex life. I know my husband and I were happy to find an additional resource to improve an area of our lives that so often gets forgotten about in favor of work, sleep, and errands. And I agree with L.Morris. Christians or not, let's be positive rather than negative. Why tear each other down over these issues? Yes, they run deep to the core of who we are but why not enter dialogue rather than go to war?

Sent by K.G. | 12:32 PM | 5-23-2008

Why would Jebus give two cents what kind of sex toys they use and with all of the troubles and problems in the world, what kind of self cetered people takes up their sky daddy's precious time ruling the universe asking for advice on something this inane. And why would Jebus care how people do it or what they do it with?

demo guy

Sent by demo guy | 2:47 PM | 6-16-2008

Billions and billions of people in the world, with billions and billions of petitions to this divine entity who is supposed to know everything already anyway...and it seems as though this entity is some sort of cosmic customer service rep with a zillion departments from complaint of hangnails, to anal warts, to the real crises like natural disaster, cancer, AIDS, wars, and trivial stuff like that. How does a god keep up with all that? And demo guy is right. Why would this god, if he exists, give a fat rats ass about what kind of sex toys people want to use. This is totally absurd.

Sent by stardust | 4:01 PM | 6-16-2008

Only in America, the land which again and again makes a mockery of Christianity.

Sent by Hannah | 10:13 AM | 7-15-2008

I Thoroughly enjoyed the article!! And as someone who is not a virgin, but who has since embraced abstinence until marriage. We've all seen pornographic images and sex-toy site. What is markedly different and apparent is that this site actually acknowledges the creator of sex GOD and encourages MARRIED COUPLES to be creative in their intimacy. There is NO such encouragement in the traditional porn industry! This is a much needed resources for married christian (and even non-christian couples). Marriage + Christianity does not have to = Boring.

Sent by Angelic | 6:04 PM | 7-19-2008

Matthew Scallon! You go boy! Anytime I hear a Catholic brother saying Fred Hammond is his favorite Gospel musician..it gets my attention. Fred is the MAN!! LOL

You are very fair and concise and on point with what you write. You do not attack others for their opinions, but you point out biblical truths. I find it funny how people can attack you for being sarcastic! It is their own tone of their own voice in their own head that they hear, and they project that on your writings. It'ridiculous..but the Bible speaks that arguments stem from our own pride. Some saints need some HUMBLING! I read everyone's writings and agreed or disagreed but there is no desire in my heart to attack another brother or sister. As for the unbeliever, well, there is no point because their eyes are blinded. But for all believers...shame on the strife! Forget the sex toys..let's uphold each other in LOVE. Hello!

Oh yeah..one more thing..Christ will rule and reign..we --the so called hypocrites--will get the last laugh..I say that almost disdainfully as I do not want to see anyone perish, however, God's judgment is near, and our free will determines our decisions/morality/beliefs..hence eternal life or eternal condemnation. For those of us that have struggled to keep the faith, endured the ridicule, been misunderstood, talked about, put down, left out, etc etc...we shall inherit our eternal reward when we appear before our Master and Savior AND THAT IS ALL THAT MATTERS!

God bless and keep the faith Matt AND TO ALL MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS! MUCH LOVE!

Sent by ANNA ! | 10:51 PM | 7-21-2008

I think (and thank God) that Christianity is the only religion in the whole world that gives expression to individual beliefs and individual conscience with Biblical ethics, Ten Commandments and the person of Jesus (who by definition is both part of Trinity and IS TRINITY which means One God: I know it sounds confusing but Christians like the term ''mysterious'') as the guiding star.

As a result of these individual expressions within Christendom humanity is liberated while maintaining connection with one almighty God known through Jesus Christ and His gospel.

Other than that, different Christian denominations don't feel shy about claiming exclusivity. For example, many Catholic folks (if not all) claim the sole exclusive berth in heaven while also claiming that other so called ''Christians'' will figure out upon being dead that they have wasted their life on some dud church. Inversely, these protestant Christians claim the same thing and call Catholic church the dud church or mystery Babylon and what you will.

I think this diversity of opinions is a very healthy thing for a progressive Christian faith. Even Catholics have folks who are liberals, communists or just lapsed Catholics who don't give a damn if they be damned or not, after death i.e.

So, within this healthy diversity of free conscience, I'm sure Joy and her toys can fit in and bring peace and comfort within the bounds of marriage.

As for America being the anti- Christian country, please note than Europe has bashed Taleban style fundamentalist Christianity and moved on, hundreds of years ago. If you want some evidence in English language, the novels of D.H. Lawrence (Rainbow, Women in Love) will shake and stir you more deeply than any so called Christian toys might. Give it a try. :-)

Sent by Rajiv Thind | 8:35 AM | 7-26-2008

Support comes from: