Stuff We Don't Love

Now That's a Bad Review

love guru chart

hide captionI don't think they like it.

From the Spiritual Science Research Foundation.

If you're like me and happily contributed your $12 to the $101 million opening of Iron Man, you probably saw the trailer for the new Mike Myers vehicle, The Love Guru. Looks pretty terrible, but the Spiritual Science Research Foundation says the film commits a sin worse than just being dumb. For more on their objection to the film, try this pdf. To get a sense for just how bad it is in the eyes of the SSRF, note that murdering an average person is also worth 30 demerits.

Here's my question: What movie would you sentence to eternal damnation?

Comments

 

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how about Iron Man?

Sent by Christine | 11:20 AM | 5-5-2008

And what, pray tell, is so culturally objectionable about Iron Man?

Sent by Greg | 12:14 PM | 5-5-2008

Maybe not so objectionable, but since when do Americans do anything to help Afghani people? Zing!

Sent by James Cutler | 1:17 PM | 5-5-2008

How about "The Good Shephard." I guess it was supposed to be about the beginning of the CIA, but all I got from the movie is this guy has a thing for deaf girls.

My wife fell asleep during the movie. I asked her what her dream was, because, whatever it was, it had to have been better than this movie. That was two very long hours of my life I will never get back.

Sent by Matthew Scallon | 4:30 PM | 5-5-2008

Easy answer(s):

The Thin Red Line (so horrible I wanted to stand up in the movie theater and scream, "what are we all doing here? Let's go!" but didn't)
Anything by Clint Eastwood except "Unforgiven" (and I mean everything, from "Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil" through the last one I allowed myself to be talked into, "Mystic River." Never again!)

Sent by Tricia, NPR | 8:14 PM | 5-5-2008

So wrong about The Thin Red Line. Just want to go on the record that it was a brilliant movie -- and you're wrong. There. I'm sorry you had to bring this fight to public view McKinney.

Sent by Matt Martinez-NPR | 8:21 PM | 5-5-2008

Tricia,

I am so with you on Eastwood. The absolute worst was "True Crime," and that was the one that popped into my mind when I read this post.

Sent by Sarah Goodyear | 8:28 PM | 5-5-2008

I'd say "Bring it, Martinez" but something tells me I'd just end up having to watch that piece of dreck again. Like my dad said about "the English Patient," "it's like dragging a cat for 2 hours."
@ Sarah, was "True Crime" the one where he's a detective who had a heart transplant? Gah! Horrible!

Sent by Tricia, NPR | 9:22 PM | 5-5-2008

@Tricia: Anything by Clint Eastwood except "Unforgiven"

I'm with you on Mystic River, but I rather liked "Absolute Power."

Sent by Dave Wiley | 9:48 PM | 5-5-2008

Oh, I'd have to say "Cool World", "1408" (why, John Cusack, why?), and "Night Watch" (a Russian movie based on a book that is actually good). I was smart enough not to see "Glitter" and "From Justin to Kelly", which probably qualifies for eternal damnation.

Sent by April | 9:57 PM | 5-5-2008

Eraserhead. I know tons of smart people love it and if I hate it I'm a philistine or something, but for cryin' out loud, it's like torture. Visual, aural, mental torture.

Sent by Maura | 11:01 PM | 5-5-2008

Tricia,
I think you are talking about "Blood Work." "True Crime" is the one with Isiah Washington. No worries, they are both equally forgettable. But I have to disagree about "Mystic River." Also I am surprised that no one has mentioned one of his best movies, "Million Dollar Baby."

Sent by Tim Campbell | 1:49 AM | 5-6-2008

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