The Weirdest End To Maternity Leave

Filed under: Maternity Leave, Too Beautiful to Live

Back in the chair, briefly.

Zena Barakat/NPR

 

The last time I was this surprised, Journey was cut off mid-lyric.

If you asked me a few weeks ago what my final maternity leave blog post would cover, I might have said the anxiety of leaving the cub, excitement about getting back to a job I love and/or lessons I learned in the past 12 weeks.

So it is odd to write about returning to the workforce for only one week. That's it.

So much of my energy has been spent preparing for my new life -- from finding baby sitters to buying breast pumps. I never thought I would have to be prepared to face the big question of "What should I do next?" I'm still working on that one.

I will confess that a few weeks ago I though, "Wow, I wish I had a little more time at home with Isaac." Ah, the cliche is true -- be careful what you wish for.

Have you ever gotten what you wanted, in an unexpected and maybe even unwanted way?

See you Monday.

Alison Stewart

12:33 PM ET | 07-18-2008 | permalink | comments (21) | e-mail post

Alison Checks In: The Diaper Dilemma

Filed under: Maternity Leave

Ch-ch-ch-changes.

 

In an effort not to add more plastic to landfills -- to shrink our "carbon buttprint," if you will -- I have tried many different eco-diapers in the past 10 weeks. I have also experienced wet onesies, biblical blowouts and one incident so bad that a T-shirt of mine will never be worn again.

I tried the award-winning Swedish nappies that claimed to be "100% natural-based back sheet, 100% natural distribution layer, 100% compostable consumer packaging." I found them about 100% likely to lead to an unfortunate surprise. I tried the "no gel" that I had to change about every 45 minutes -- and frankly, they were enormous. I mean, Isaac looked like something was wrong with him when he wore them.

Of the five eco-friendly brands I've tried, Ike has managed to lay waste to them all. Pardon the pun.

As with many things in life, I arrived at a compromise. During the week, I opted for an environmentally friendly diaper that doesn't promise to create clean fuel or patch the ozone. The company doesn't use chlorine -- unlike mainstream brands and cloth services. These diapers aren't pretty, but they use a minimal amount of plastic. On the weekends, I have started to incorporate the hybrid diaper we discussed on the show -- it means more work and more changes, so it's better for less hectic days.

Did you ever have great plans to be a crusader for a cause, only to have reality overwhelm your good intentions?

Alison Stewart

9:55 AM ET | 07-17-2008 | permalink | comments (22) | e-mail post

Alison Checks In: 'I Now Officially Stink'

Filed under: Maternity Leave

"I'm trying to sleep!"

 

In the past nine weeks, parenthood has led me to do things I never, ever thought I would do involving diapers, lack of sleep -- you get the idea. Yet on Tuesday, I crossed a line, and I can never go back. I called the cops on a party of underage kids drinking beer and making a ruckus.

It was 12:30 a.m. and I was trying to get Isaac to go back to sleep as the drunken mating whoops of boys in big shorts and girls in miniskirts wafted through the air. The kids were stumbling down our dirt road with flashlights and gathering alongside the split-rail fence on the dirt road in front of my parents' house.

In a flash I picked up the phone. The cops showed up and the kids began to run through the woods with their cases of beer. And in a moment of sheer devilishness, I flicked on our flood lights as they raced down our driveway into the woods. I watched them scatter like roaches and it was fun. At that moment, it hit me -- I was now the crabby "get off my lawn" lady. I was also the lady worried about drunk driving and my own crying child.

What is something you never thought you'd do, but wham -- there you were doing it?

Alison Stewart

3:12 PM ET | 07-10-2008 | permalink | comments (24) | e-mail post

Alison Checks In: On Being Biracial

Filed under: Maternity Leave

Shalom, my brutha

I once overheard a woman ask her friend, "Why does Obama identify himself as black when he is half white?" Their discussion ranged from how Barack Obama's appearance led to assumptions about him, to how choices were made for him based on his looking like a tall skinny black guy, to the way race has historically been determined this country.

My husband and I discussed all of these above as we awaited the birth of our son, Isaac. How will we make sure he feels secure about who he is? Will he be clearly identifiable as either white or black? Will I have to wear one of those "I'm not the nanny" t-shirts? Will he have a bar mitzvah?

As he gets older, Ike is looking truly bi-racial. After seeing a recent photo, a 50-something friend of mine who is Japanese and Black said he was hopeful Isaac won't have to endure the difficulties he faced as a child. My friend wrote, "This is our time. Barack. Tiger. Halle."

Considering it was only eight years ago that the U.S. Census allowed you to check more than one box for racial identity, I can't help wondering what challenges lie ahead.

Alison Stewart

6:42 AM ET | 07- 3-2008 | permalink | comments (12) | e-mail post

Let's Talk Baby

Filed under: Maternity Leave

"You talkin' to me?"

 

During our Father's Day BBQ, I asked the parents of two baby boys: "Where do you stand on baby talk?" "Hate it," the father said, while Mom admitted to speaking in a high voice and making funny faces.

I agree with the dad, but I find myself behaving like the mom. Technically she and I engage in something called parentese, which is apparently good for your kid. The baby talk I was referring to sounds like what I encountered recently at a baby stuff store. Adults were speaking to their "soooper sweetums" and asking does "baybee-waybee, wanna binky-winky?" I thought to myself 'aren't you making your kids, stoopid-woopid or at least laying the groundwork for a mean speech impediment?' I mean, Buddy Hinton was right.

Baby talk between adults is really revolting, but what about between parent and child? Do you think it's normal behavior or a really ridiculous learned practice?

-- Alison Stewart

Caitlin Kenney

3:09 PM ET | 06-18-2008 | permalink | comments (22) | e-mail post

Listener Challenge: Rice, Rice Baby

Filed under: Maternity Leave

We've talked some serious topics in the life of a new parent, from the question of vaccinations to problems with the health care system. Today, I want to talk about . . . rice.

During the bleary, weary first days of parenthood, our folder of takeout menus got a workout. But after multiple orders of Chinese, Thai, Japanese and Indian food, we found ourselves with an unreasonable amount of rice -- pints and pints of rice.

With all the news of high food prices and food shortages, I can't bring myself to throw it out. So I've made rice salad, rice pudding, arroz con pollo. I plan to rustle up some paella later this week, but, frankly, I'm running out of options and will.

What the heck could we, should we do with all that rice? Creativity encouraged.

Alison Stewart

9:17 AM ET | 06-10-2008 | permalink | comments (28) | e-mail post

Are Vaccines My Choice -- or Yours?

Filed under: Maternity Leave

Baby Ike, in the land of no germs.

 

Today we're heading to our doctor for Ike's "one month" checkup.
So far, the office visits have been fun, as we chart Isaac's growth and our terrific pediatrician answers all our new-parent questions.

But there is one big question on the horizon, as I was reminded this weekend by a letter to "The Ethicist" columnist Randy Cohen in Sunday's New York Times. The reader asked whether it was ethical for the moms in her playgroup to force out a child because he hadn't been vaccinated.

Cohen's decided that by skipping vaccines, the mom is putting only her own child -- and other unvaccinated ones -- at risk. But the question remains: Are vaccinations a public health concern or a private decision?

Every state has a law requiring certain vaccines before kids can go to school, and the CDC and the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends the shots as a crucial part of a health plan. But what about parents who believe the potential damage outweighs the benefits?

I have my own thoughts on this, but it's yours I'm wondering about. So I'm asking.

Alison Stewart

12:32 PM ET | 06- 3-2008 | permalink | comments (27) | e-mail post

Listener Challenge: What Is This Baby Saying?

Filed under: Maternity Leave

YOUR CAPTION HERE.

 

Alison Stewart sends this picture of her own baby Ike, doing what babies so often do.

But what on earth is baby Ike saying?

That's where you can help, dear listener. Try your hand at a caption in the comments, please.

After the jump, Alison asks for advice.

Continue reading "Listener Challenge: What Is This Baby Saying?" »

Laura Conaway

8:10 AM ET | 05-28-2008 | permalink | comments (45) | e-mail post

The Big Cover-up: On the Politics of Breastfeeding

Filed under: Maternity Leave

A YouTube ad for the Slurp & Burp breast cover..

My husband, Bill, tells Ike every day, "Sir, we have your favorite table waiting."
That would be the baby-friendly pillow in my lap (great product, bad name: My Breast Friend), where young Isaac Stewart Wolff dines seven or eight times a day. I've made the commitment to use these knockers, cans, bra buddies for their natural purpose. With questions about formula (see today's New York Times headline on the sweetener in organic formula) and the immunity benefits for a baby, I never really considered not breastfeeding.

However, I do find myself questioning when and where it is appropriate to whip out "the boob." As some of my more straitlaced guy friends have visited, I've found myself using a very cool coverlet that was a gift. (Thanks, BPP-er Caitlin Kenney!)

Lactivists will likely see my covering up as selling out. I've been sort of shocked by how adamant some lactivists can be and how dismissive some in the traditional medical community are of lactivists. One lactation consultant I encountered in the hospital practically chewed me out for improperly identifying a type of breast milk. (Yes there are types -- who knew?) A medical practitioner told me not to allow myself to become a "human pacifier."

I've come to learn that breastfeeding is a political issue. Remember when Bill Maher angered a lot of women and received the Stinky Diaper award from Baby Talk magazine for saying on his show that women who don't cover up in public are "too lazy to either plan ahead or cover up" and that they're just seek the spotlight for something a dog can do?

What do you think about breast feeding in public? And why has it become so politicized?

Bonus: The Easy Expression bustier.

Alison Stewart

11:19 AM ET | 05-19-2008 | permalink | comments (32) | e-mail post

Alison Checks In One Week After Isaac's Arrival

Filed under: Maternity Leave

Alison's bundle o' boy at 3 hours

Isaac Stewart Wolff turns one!

One week old, that is......

What a difference a week makes. This morning my son and I ( so funny to write that) went to the pediatrician, where he was described as "one of the strongest infants" the doctor has ever seen.

Regular readers know about 11 days ago I had a really tough time with the first two trips to the hospital, but the third was the charm. We were given the superstar treatment -- literally, since we were assigned the same fancy labor room as used by Gwyneth Paltrow, Michael J. Fox/Tracey Pollan and Bowie and Iman -- and after 11 hours of labor and one C section, 8 pounds and 6 ounces of cuteness came into the world.

As I've blogged, Ike was over a week late but we think we know why. In my family a lot of us were born on holidays. My birthday is July 4th, my sister is New Years Day, my niece July 4th, my paternal grandfather Halloween, my maternal grandfather New Years Day, my paternal grandmother was born on the first day of summer and my mother is Thanksgiving (11/25).

So we think he was holding out for a holiday and don't you know...his cumpleaños is Cinco de Mayo.

More maternity leave blog posts on the way...but right now....a dirty diaper needs changing.....

Alison Stewart

4:10 PM ET | 05-12-2008 | permalink | comments (11) | e-mail post

Alison Delivers .... a Blistering Memo

Filed under: Maternity Leave

Okay, my maternity leave has now turned political.

I, a person who has insurance, an amazing doctor, a couple of brain cells that work and enough confidence to question the system, have experienced in the past 16 hours our broken medical system at one of the best hospitals in the country.

I got caught up in an overcrowded, understaffed hospital which led a night-long cycle of being checked in, checked out, checked in, checked out. IV in, IV out. Let's just say what was supposed to happen didn't.

Without divulging too much of my own personal information, I'll just say I've been thinking all morning about how much time TV and radio, as well as the campaigns, have wasted on trivial issues when people are struggling just to get basics like food, housing and health care.

No baby yet. All is well, but I am back at home.

Alison Stewart

4:04 PM ET | 05- 2-2008 | permalink | comments (8) | e-mail post

Maternity Leave, Day Nine

Filed under: Maternity Leave

Speed Racer makes the time fly by.

No baby yet. Frustration and concern began to set in, and then I remembered the words of Project Runway's great philosopher, Tim Gunn -- Make it work!

Making maternity leave work:

1) Rub elbows with former presidents. Strolled within 3 feet of Bill Clinton in the west village on Monday. Got the hairy eyeball from Secret Service who spied my MSNBC jacket.
2) Tag along to screenings with friends. Speed Racer mid-afternoon in a cushy Time Warner screening room?! Nice. It may be the movie of the summer. Visually arresting human cartoon craziness.
3) Excuse to eat spicy Chinese food -- didn't work to bring on labor but I do love the stinky garlic broccoli at Empire Szechuan.
4) Download pop music and dance around the house nine-and-half-months pregnant. Sorry for the visual. Currently on the hit list: Duffy's "Mercy."
5) Start that fierce book you always dreamed about. Page one is pretty good, if I do say so myself.

The update: Baby Stewolff will join us by Friday, so the doctors tell me. Stay tuned.

Alison Stewart

1:13 PM ET | 04-30-2008 | permalink | comments (11) | e-mail post

Alison Asks: Is This Story Sexist?

Filed under: Maternity Leave

Day 8: I was reading an article in the Sunday New York Times about public radio trying to energize its listenership. As a working woman, soon to be working mother, one paragraph grabbed me, for all the wrong reasons.

"The [Bryant Park Project] had a tough start. One host, Luke Burbank, quit just before the first day, Oct. 1, although he didn't leave until mid-December. The remaining host, Alison Stewart, is on maternity leave. "

Do we still live in a time when maternity leave is seen as a negative, a problem, a hurdle -- something that creates a "tough" situation for co-workers? I've heard of women who hide their pregnancies or don't tell their bosses. When I read this piece, it struck me this paragraph fed into the idea that having a baby is a liability for women in the workplace. Didn't the governor of Alaska just give birth?

I have to admit I was initially kind of nervous to tell my bosses that Bill and I had been overachievers in the baby making department. We were shooting for post-election -- TMI, I know.

For the record NPR has been nothing short of AWESOME about the first BPP baby. My exec producer and BPPeeps are incredibly supportive and frankly, if I can reach around and pat myself on the back, more than once I did the show shortly after barfing in the bathroom 10 minutes before airtime.

So a tough start for us because of a pregnancy and maternity leave? Was that a sexist paragraph in the Times or a grim reality? Just curious what our BPP community thinks. Disagreeing is heartily welcomed.

Alison Stewart

1:40 PM ET | 04-28-2008 | permalink | comments (30) | e-mail post

Alison Checks In: No Baby Yet

Filed under: Maternity Leave

Kid has a baseball team already, thanks to Bill Wolff's co-workers.

What happens when a woman who has been cranking for a year on the BPP takes off for maternity leave?

Well . . .

Day 1: April 21
Woke up at 3:30 am. 3:30 AM!! I pitch some ideas to the BPP, to which Pashman responds, "Aren't you supposed to be asleep?" Yup. Instead, I decide to organize and clean every closet. And in an effort to get to my mecca, the Container store, I almost broke a personal rule...and left the house in sweat pants!! I'd made a pact with myself that no matter how tired/wide/harassed, I would get dressed every day.

Day 2: April 22
Made a bold decision to attend a "salon-like" soiree on the Upper East Side -- complete with a guy who restores castles in Scotland, a yoga instructor and travel writer. I had to figure out the how to spend the least amount of time in the subway in case I went into labor. Figured 2/3 train to 72nd and then bus across only meant 20 minutes underground. All went well, except NO ONE gave up his/her seat to a nine-months-pregnant lady. Gotta love NY!

Day 3: April 23
Big doctor's appointment -- will I be spirited off to the hospital? Nope. No big news. Rats. I keep seeing ads for Tina Fey's Baby Mama -- can't decide if it will make me laugh or cry to see it at this point.

Day 4: April 24
My due date. Come and gone. At least I accomplished something today and finished Lush Life from Richard Price. So great -- I hope y'all check out our interview with him again.

Day 5: April 25
I keep seeing reports saying a mother's breakfast might affect the gender of a child. I ate the same thing every day for almost nine months. So what does a whole-grain English muffin with omega-3 peanut butter mean?

Alison Stewart

3:09 PM ET | 04-25-2008 | permalink | comments (10) | e-mail post