No Buffalo Wings, No Peace

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Remember when times were good? Spine/Flickr hide caption

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Got this today from NPR alum Dan Pashman:

They say that when your friend loses his job, it's an economic slowdown. When you lose your job, it's a recession. And when an economist loses his job, it's a depression. By that logic, this economic crisis just became my Waterloo.

As someone lucky enough to be gainfully employed, I have watched this great unraveling with anger at those responsible, sympathy for those less fortunate and concern for us all. But it hadn't fully hit home. Until now.

That's because the Super Bowl is this Sunday, and there's a SHORTAGE OF BUFFALO WINGS IN AMERICA. That's like Wimbledon running out of strawberries and cream, or the French Open running out of contempt.

How did this happen? Buffalo wings are often in short supply ahead of the big game, but that problem was made much worse when Texas-based Pilgrim's Pride, the nation's largest chicken producer, filed Chapter 11 in December.

How on earth are Americans supposed to watch the Super Bowl without buffalo wings? What kind of sauce will we inadvertently spill on ourselves? What will our children think? What if we lose weight?! This is awful.

The only consolation might be that this year, the martini drinkers are suffering right alongside the Bud swillers. Far fewer private jets are being chartered to the game, and scalpers are getting a measly $3,100 a ticket, down about 40 percent from last year's prices.

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