by Carrie Brownstein

One byproduct of having played music for many years is that people assume you want to hear the following words: "You Rock." Sure, maybe right after you walk off stage, the phrase might come across as benign — a generic yet earnest, not-really-sure-what-to-say compliment. But on birthday cards, at company meetings, and in email sign-offs, "You rock" makes no sense at all. I mean, do parents of doctors write out cards with the words, "Son, You Cure!" Do friends of lawyers, when doling out praise, come at them with, "John, You Sue!" No, they do not.

In fact, whether you've played an instrument or not — and whether you're a person, place or thing — anyone and everyone seems to rock these days. And, let's be honest, we've been rocking for years. That tag line you came up with for Coke at your ad agency rocks! Your leather jacket with the hood rocks! Your dog catching a Frisbee rocks! Your new Herman Miller Aeron desk chair? It totally rocks! When you're thanking your dad for the loan, he rocks! When you score tickets to a playoff game, that rocks, too!

Practically the only thing that doesn't rock these days is music itself. And, if music did in fact rock, to actually say that it did would have very little meaning. Because you'd have to ask, "This music rocks compared to what? Beer? Hawaii? Grandpa?"

Let's take a moment to outline some particularly egregious and inappropriate uses of "You Rock." Your guy or gal has just popped the question. Your answer: "You Rock!" Wrong! Unless you are literally referring to and talking to the ring. If you aren't, then either the ring should be revoked or maybe you just really deserve each other. Also unacceptable: replacing "Thank You" with "You Rock" in contexts involving customer-service people such as your postal worker, UPS driver, or grocery clerk. After all, a Gap employee fetching you a different size of jeans in the dressing room doesn't rock, now, does he?

In a similar vein, but no less obnoxious, is the fact that a lot of industries and events have become "rock 'n' roll." I left a business meeting once with the following words of encouragement: "This is rock 'n' roll, people!" As we all walked back to our desks, returning to a life of semi-funny email forwards, office shenanigans and coming up with strategies on how to better sell coffee as a lifestyle, I kept wondering, is this really rock 'n' roll? Because if it were, it wasn't exactly how I remembered it.

Perhaps equating the mundane with something as exotic and bold as rock 'n' roll helps each of our lives feel a bit more important, exciting, even worthwhile. And in the wish-fulfillment triumvirate of sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll, rock does seem the most transferable and translatable. After all, comparing your day job to heroin — or substituting "You F—-!" for "Hey, you're cool" — might get you in trouble.

It would really rock if you could please share instances wherein you've heard or used the phrases "You Rock" or "It's Rock 'n' Roll." What is the most outlandish or strange person, place or thing that has "rocked"?