(iStockphoto.com)

by Rob Sachs

By any measure, this weekend's showings of The Twilight Saga: New Moon are already a big event. Fans all over have packed movie houses and camped out to be first in line to see the second installment in the bloodsucking series. In fact, online ticket seller Fandango has already reported selling out more than 1000 midnight shows last night.

How big could it get? The first film took in nearly $70 million in its opening weekend, and some insiders think New Moon's first weekend could top $100 million. If you want to go, you might want to book in advance, because you might otherwise be redirected into a showing of something with no vampires at all.

Unfortunately, when it's this crowded, even if you're lucky enough to have a ticket, that doesn't guarantee a smooth moviegoing experience. With this potential for insanity in mind, I sought some advice from film and TV writer Mark Jordan Legan on how to handle the chaos inside the theater.

1. To optimize your seating, arrive early and make nice with the staff. Often, if the line is long, there's a mad rush for seats when the doors actually open. Legan says that if you can, you might try to curry favor with an usher. Maybe you can teach him some hilarious New Moon limerick you've created in your spare time, and "Boom, he might open the other door for you." Maybe even better, you could get a heads-up right before the side door to the theater opens.

2. Run back and straight to the middle as quickly as you can. Legan says that most people are like bad drivers on the freeway who hold up everyone else around them. Avoid them by heading straight for the center middle and staking out ground there. If necessary, feel free to go into a row and start climbing over the seats. The last thing you want is to be stuck in the front row, and you should do whatever it takes -- within reason, of course -- to avoid that outcome.

Shushing and texting, after the jump.

Continue reading "'New Moon' Etiquette: How To Attend A Packed Show Like A Pro" >

by Linda Holmes

Let's suppose you are an actor. You can do comedy; you can do drama. You have been talked up for an Oscar, though not nominated for one. In the next year, you intend to play Allen Ginsberg, as well as show up in a comedy with Tina Fey and Steve Carell. Oh, and you are talented and funny, and you are, um, hot.

In short, let's suppose you are James Franco, and the world is your oyster.

What can you do that nobody will understand at all, and therefore everyone will talk about? What can you do that qualifies as legitimately weird? You can't just act weird on a late-night talk show anymore; Joaquin Phoenix pretty much killed that bit. You can't just say strange things in interviews.

We've seen it all, right? Every goofball maneuver that a famous actor might take on, every publicity stunt, every experiment that leads to "He's doing WHAT?"

No. No, we haven't. Because James Franco managed to truly baffle just about everyone when he decided to take a role on General Hospital. And in, reportedly, three days of work, he nailed down exposure that will last for months.

James Franco is a crazy genius, after the jump.

Continue reading "James Franco's Crazy Genius In Full And Gangsterlicious Flower" >

Lost is coming back, and then it will be time to say goodbye. (ABC)

by Linda Holmes

ABC announced yesterday that Lost will begin its final season on February 2, and will air weekly at 9:00 on Tuesdays. Many expect that V will eventually get the 10 p.m. slot on that same night, and ABC will try to create a sci-fi mystery night of sorts.

Of course, this presumably requires the Dancing With The Stars results show to bump back to 8:00, which forces that to air against The Godzilla Of Spring Television, American Idol. In fact, during the not-uncommon weeks when Idol runs for two hours, Lost will be up against it, too. Given, however, that this is the last season in any event, ratings are presumably not a huge worry, since few fans of Lost are likely to suddenly stop watching it, even if if means they have to record it for later.

For now, though, the clock is officially ticking on one of the most intriguing and inventive shows television has created in quite some time, and while it's been inconsistent and no ending will stand the slightest chance of pleasing everyone, it's exciting, but a little sad.

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart bring their vampy stuff back to the big screen in ... well, you know. (Summit Entertainment)

by Linda Holmes

This week's theater offerings, money-wise, are likely to be dominated by a certain semi-dead romantic leading man, but there are other things going on as well, from a Chinese battle epic to a partnership that just had to come along eventually.

• Teenage vampire aficionados were probably out all night seeing New Moon, but Kenneth Turan was not excited about it.

• Bob Mondello didn't care much for the schmaltzy The Blind Side, which "turns the book's measured account of Oher's story into a feel-good fantasy for white liberals." Which is kind of what I was afraid of earlier this week, you'll recall.

• Bad Lieutenant: Port Of Call New Orleans comes from noted unusuals Nicolas Cage and Werner Herzog, and Jeannette Catsoulis says their collaboration provides "the film's fertile heart and loony brain."

• Speaking of notable collaborations, Pedro Almodovar and Penelope Cruz are back together with Broken Embraces, which Bob Mondello recommends, saying it's "never less than engaging."

• And finally, John Woo -- whom you may know mostly from shoot-em-ups -- has a new battle epic called Red Cliff, and Mark Jenkins says it's impressive in scale, but "too tidy to evoke combat's mud, gore and terror."

(iStockphoto.com)

by Linda Holmes

• Mike White not only wrote School Of Rock, but he was an extremely likable contestant on The Amazing Race (with his dad, Mel). Now, to that eclectic resume, he adds a film version of a great story that aired on This American Life just before Christmas last year. I remember the story, about warring factions of Santas, and I am already eager to see the movie.

• Having recently read Stephen King's new Under The Dome, I'm fairly bullish on a cable miniseries adaptation with Steven Spielberg at the helm. The Stand, which is in some ways a similar story, made for a surprisingly decent miniseries back in the day (Gary Sinise! Molly Ringwald! Rob Lowe!), and that was broadcast TV.

• In the continuing story of What The Heck Is Going On At NBC, note that the network ordered three more episodes of the struggling (to say the least) Trauma. As many expected, they're moving the return of Chuck up to January, too.

Two great moments in live performing, Runway chatter, and a thing about Twitter that seems even more inconsequential than most, after the jump.

Continue reading "Morning Shots: Two Swell Season Videos, Twitter Clutter, And Santa Wars" >

Oprah Winfrey's show goes off the air in two years. The question now is whether we will all last that long. (Jason Merritt/Getty Images)

by Linda Holmes

I can't tell you whether Oprah Winfrey will have a show on her new cable network, OWN, after she shuts down her existing show in two years.

I can't tell you whether she'll be taking any of her experts with her, or whether Ellen DeGeneres will benefit the way some people expect, or whether those who have made money from Oprah -- or The Oprah, or whatever we are calling her now -- will ever find a replacement for all that good-feeling, soul-nourishing dough.

Here's what I can tell you: the next two years are going to be so insufferable that they will make you forget all about the multiple, tearful, overwrought, tooth-gnashing farewells to Brett Favre.

What this will be like, and early and ominous video of Oprah's announcement, after the jump.

Continue reading "Oprah's Long, Long, Long Goodbye" >

Project Runway's sixth season has been one big snooze. (Lifetime)

by Linda Holmes

Fans of reality-competition shows tend to disagree a lot about which seasons are good and which are bad. This season of Project Runway is an exception: I don't know a single person who's enjoyed it, or who is particularly interested in tonight's finale.

Remember, this has been a show that was likable even for many people who hate other reality shows. It was so popular and so beloved on Bravo that there was a protracted court battle over its move to Lifetime. And at the moment, my sense is that nobody cares.

We talked a while ago about some of this, particularly the fact that judges Nina Garcia and Michael Kors were gone for much of the season. And that's certainly been part of the problem. Apart from the always hard-to-define matter of "chemistry," Kors and Garcia were also replaced by guest judges who weren't as good-humored, as balanced, or as authoritative as they were.

But nothing else has really worked, either. The show changed production companies, from Magical Elves (they also make Top Chef) to Bunim-Murray (they also make The Real World, not to mention even lower-rent fare like Keeping Up With The Kardashians and Love Cruise. While this hasn't meant the show is suddenly about drinking binges, there does seem to be more of designers whining about each other in a sort of detached, generic way and less of designers bonding, talking, or becoming friends (in ways other than hating the same person).

In short, the contestants have seemed like ... brats, far more than usual.

Brats, after the jump.

Continue reading "'Project Runway': What Went Wrong?" >

by Linda Holmes

I had the pleasure of co-hosting the podcast this week with movie critic Bob Mondello. We listened to Bob's review of the apocalyptic blockbuster 2012 and talked a little about blowing things up.

After that, it was on to Wes Anderson's The Fantastic Mr. Fox, based on a Roald Dahl story. In an interview with Scott Simon, Anderson talks about his love for the book, and then NPR's Elizabeth Blair provides some context about Dahl's understanding of children's fears.

We heard from author Zadie Smith about her new book of essays, and then Michael Urie of Ugly Betty talked about his character and the ways in which he is, and isn't, groundbreaking.

As always, you can subscribe to the podcast, or you can listen to it right here.

(iStockphoto.com)

by Linda Holmes

• Good news? Bad news? Who knows? Aaron Sorkin is returning to the world of television set behind the scenes of television. Could be another Sports Night. (Yaaaay!) Could be another Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip. (Boooo.)

• A set of guidelines for theater critics has set off a debate about just what a critic is obligated to do -- it's summed up nicely, with lots of links, here.

• From The Department Of Gross Generalizations Debunking Other Gross Generalizations, it turns out that sex doesn't sell after all. So that's it for sex, then.

Even more spoiler discussion, a surging comedy, and Oscar documentary news, after the jump.

Continue reading "Morning Shots: Tattoos, Overpaid Stars, Aaron Sorkin, And Whether Sex Sells" >

Kelly Clarkson performs on American Idol in 2002. (Kevin Winter/Getty Images)

by Linda Holmes

If you've been watching things over at NPR Music, you know that they've just posted their list of The Decade's 50 Most Important Recordings. I recently referred to this feature elsewhere as "NPR Music Whacks The Beehive With A Broom Handle." Because nothing makes people angry quite like lists, and trying to pick 50 recordings over 10 years -- five per year, for non-mathematicians -- leads to unavoidable incompleteness and so forth and so on, and then everybody is mad.

But really, what's most interesting about the discussion they're having in the comments is the entire concept of "importance."

Here's how the piece explains importance: "These are the game-changers: records that signaled some sort of shift in the way music is made or sounds, or ones that were especially influential or historically significant." That's about the same way I would explain it.

Note that this description is value-neutral. It has nothing -- nothing -- to do with quality. If I made a recording of myself whanging away on a couple of tin cans with a meat thermometer, and somehow it turned out that this was an untapped market, and I sold five million copies, and lots and lots of other people followed with their own kitchen-implement records, my recording would be important. Influential, historically significant, and -- let's face it -- a game-changer.

It would not, however, be important to every individual person. If you later made a list of the records that were most important not to music, but to you, and you included my Linda Plays The Meat Thermometer on your list, people might quite rightly think less of you. But if you put it on a list of what's most important objectively, nobody could argue.

To put this in the context of the actual discussion going on over there, you need to think of American Idol as many people's equivalent of banging on tin cans with a meat thermometer, and you'll see a great example of the difference between culture as a freestanding, unpredictable product of the hive mind and culture as something that affects you personally.

Controversy swirls, after the jump.

Continue reading "There's 'Important,' And Then There's 'Important': Another Hazard Of Listmaking" >