The Pussycat Dolls: If their "brand-dropping" agency is to be believed, they'll sing your product's praises — for a fee, of course. So: What songs would you rewrite?
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Monkey See
September 23, 2008
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Hewlett Packard the Dogs Out
You are the Sunny D of My Life
Woolly Woolite
Red Roof Inn Lobster
Chick-Fil-Layla
My Way Google Maps
Hot Hot Hotmail
The New Improved Tide is High
La Isla Bosco
Viva Viagra
Wait no one would be so crass as to do that last one. Wuh?
This Land's End Fleece Is Your Land's End Fleece
Wow, those are awesome. I am particularly impressed by "The New Improved Tide Is High," as well as "Hot Hot Hotmail." Bravo!
This isn't a new idea. Does anyone remember the George Burns & Gracie Allen Show? They advertised for Carnation,Fleischmann's Yeast & Eveready Batteries to name a few. History repeats itself.
I can't claim credit for this (and I can't remember who can - some guy on tv, sigh), but 'Sweet & Low' (to the tune of Pearl Jam's 'Evenflow').
How about:
Jeremiah Was a Bullfrog Wax
My (What Can) Brown (Do For You) Eyed Girl
There's gotta be a Summer's Eve re-write of "Blinded by the Light" (you know what I'm talking about).
OK Computerland
Hertz So Good
Nothing Compares to YouTube
Like A Virgin (Atlantic)
Smokey Links on the Water
Hey Hey We're the Chunkies
iMac the Knife
Smells Like Teen Sprite
Ghost Dustbusters
Good lord, you guys are a witty bunch!
Oops, I Spilled it Again (Papertowels?)
Damn, I Wish I was Your Banker
Loving, Touching, Squeezing..my Charmin
Hee, this is fun
Chiquita (bananas)
Gimme, gimme, gimme (A Maytag man after midnight)
Kraft Macarena & Cheese
Little Plastic White Castle
Maxwell House of the Rising Sun
Jackson Hewitt Cannery
Living on a Bayer
One Coke Over the Line
Pour Some Splenda on Me
Black Horse and the Cherry Pepsi
$19.99
News channels are always trying to gain an edge over the competition by promoting their anchors and such. How about:
Hungry Like the Wolf Blitzer
I Don't Want to Miss a Thing Brian Williams Says
Islands in the Streaming 24/7 Coverage
Heart-Shaped Fox News
and, of course Total Eclipse of the Katie Couric
These are genius, y'all. I am now singing "Pour Some Splenda On Me" while I (ironically?) head into the kitchen for a non-Splenda-containing Diet Coke.
I Only Have Eyes for WaMu
"What's Luvs Got To Do With It?"
"Nutter Butter City Limits"
"(I Can't Get No) Sassafras Action"
"Diaper Genie's Got A Gun"
"18 and Life Cereal"
"I Ain't Gonna Work on Pepperidge Farm No More"
"You Don't Bring Me (Pillsbury) Flours"
"Maxwell's Arm & Hammer"
"The Ballad of John and Cocoa Puffs"
"Lucy in the Sky with these lovely Cubic Zirconias"
"Purple Lays"
"Motel 6 California"
"Making Love Out of Nut 'N Honey & all"
"(Sittin' on the) Dock of Old Bay"
"Ipod Bless America"
"You're a Mean One, Mr. Clean"
"Girls Just Want To Have Funyuns"
"Endust Love"
"Chinette Grove"
"Me and Mrs. Butterworth"
"Irish Spring Can Really Hang You Up the Most"
"Chocodile Rock"
"Who's Afraid of the Big Manwich?"
"Swing Low, Sweet Cherry Coke"
I gotta stop - this is too much fun
Okay, I just snorted at "Lucy in the Sky with these lovely Cubic Zirconias."
Tidy Cat's in the Cradle
Saved by Coke Zero
House of Verizon Sun
"The New Improved Tide Is High" and "Maxwell's Arm & Hammer" cannot be beat. All I've got is
"Olay Lady Olay"
"When Dove Beauty Bars Cry"
"Sara Lee Smile"
"Come What Maytag"
Baby Wipes, Now That I've Found You
I'll Be That American Girl
When You Dream Whip
Century Twenty One
Glad Wrap Game
"Makin Love Out of Nut N' Honey At All"?
That? Is hilarious!
"It's WitchKraft"
Elton John's "Double Burger my Heart"
"Just Another Roomba"
"Didn't We Almost Have it All-Bran Flakes"
"I Want to Stayfree"
"See What the Boys in the Back Room Will Have on Their Morningstar Farms Veggie Burgers"
"True Color-Safe Clorox Bleach"
Seriously, I thought nothing could beat Chock Full O' Nuts Presents: Hallelujah, until I got to Making Love Out of Nut 'N Honey & all. Genius!
"Wisconsin Cheeses is Just Alright With Me"
"Parmalat Chameleon"
"Careless Swiffer"
"I Heard it Thru the Grape Nuts"
"(Shake and Bake) Shake Your Booty"
"Booberry Beret"
"Beast of Borden"
"Papa Was a Rolling Rock"
"My Corona"
"Don't Cry For Me Orangina"
"Life in a Quilted Northern Town"
"Uncle Ben's Rice By the Dashboard Light"
Hats off to "House of Verizon Sun." Ha!
Midas Unbreak My Parts
Piano Manwich
My K-Mart Will Go On
I bow down to "Wisconsin Cheeses is Just All Right With Me," and pretty much all the rest of Michael's suggestions.
Mine:
Tutti Fruity Pebbles
Wonder Wal-mart
Where The Sheets Have No Stains (Tide)
Nobody Knows You When Your Downy's Out
Take Another Digiornio Pizza My Heart
If I Had A Million Dollars (I Would Seriously
Consider Placing It In the Hands of the Trusted Investors at AIG--This Economic Collapse Thing Should Blow Over Soon)
"Starkist" (to the tune of "Stardust")
"Love Is Here to Stay (at a Motel 6)"
"Moon Pies Over Miami"
"As Time Magazine Goes By"
"NPR You Lonely Tonight?"
"Doncha wish your Goldfish was hot like me"
"Do You Know the way to San Jose Cuervo?"
"Ain't Nobody Here but us Turduckens"
"Tutti Tofutti"
"A-Triscuit, A-Tasket"
"Magnum & Steel"
"It's Raining Mentos"
"You Can Goya Own Way"
"Levi's Coming"
"I Shot the jar of Jif (But I did not shoot the Tetley Tea"
"National Bohemian Rhapsody"
"Jiffy Pop Goes The World"
"Tear the Roof off The Smuckers (Give Up the Funk)"
"Woolworths of London"
"What's So Funny About Bird's Eye Frozen Peas, Love and Understanding"
"Your Love is Lifting Me Higher and 800-588-2300 EMPIRE"
"Strange Fruit Roll-Ups"
"Another Brick in the Wal*Mart, Part II"
I'm laughing out loud at Michael's "Don't Cry For Me Orangina" -- not to mention his "Papa Was a Rolling Rock" and "Ain't Nobody Here But Us Turduckens."
Bravo.
Michael, you are on fire! Swing Low, Sweet Cherry Coke will be in my head all day now.
Shout, shout, shout it all out, these are the stains we could do without...
Holy crap, you guys rock. Girls Just Wanna Have Funyuns?? Woolworths of London?? Freakin' fabulous! Michael, I think you've found your calling.
How about:
"Forever in Wrangler Blue Jeans"
"Burger King of the Road"
"Don't let the Sunkist go Down on Me"
"Yankee Candle in the Wind"
"Your Mama Don't Dance Dance Revolution"
Ballroom Schlitz
Baby One More Timex
Jenny-O From the Block
Bye Bye Miss Eskimo Pie
Everything I Do, I Do It In J-Crew
"Try a Little Chicken Tenderness"
"Take My Breathe Right Strips Away"
"Karo on My Wayward Son"
"Slim Jim Cheree"
"I Peep Forgetting"
"Tiny Scrubbing Bubbles"
"He Ain't Hefty, He's My Brother"
"Lava Negila"
"Reddy Whip-It"
"You Say Clamato, I Say Cla-mah-to, Let's Call the Whole Thing Off"
"Lovely Rita, Minute Maid"
"Sympathy for the Deviled Ham"
"Tootsie Pop-A-Lula"
"Cracklin' Oatsie"
"Everybody Tang Chung Tonight"
"I Spam, I Said"
Jeep Cherokee People
Cheeseburger Cheeseburger in Paradise
She's my Mrs. Smith's Cherry Pie
I Want to Hold Your Handle-Tie Trash Bag
Dawn (Grease Away)
Live and Let Diet Coke
Farmer on a Dell
Hello Dolly Madison!
All About the Ben & Jerry's
Peaceful Nice-n-Easy Feeling
Take it to the Limited (one more time)
Stairmaster to Heaven
I Can't Fight This No-So-Fresh Feeling Any Longer
Unbreak My Ceramic Heart with this handy tube of Krazy Glue
"Tie a JELL-O Ribbon 'Round the Old Oak Tree"
"Saved By Coke Zero"
"Rico Suave Shampoo"
"It's not easy being Soylent Green"
(Visa: The only card accepted) Across the Universe
Theme from Arthur Treacher's
Theme from a Summer's Eve's Place (does that work for you, liz?)
Clorox the Casbah
Have You Never Been Jell-o?
Crisco Inferno
Apple (did it) I ... way
"Have you never been Jell-O"? Brilliant, but now I have to clean up masticated apple from my keyboard.
"Jell-O? (Is It Me You're Looking For?)"
Crisco Inferno...hee
"Cool Whip It" (Cool Whip it good)
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