Five Best (And Worst) Entirely Nonpartisan Things About 'W.'

The questioning ends in 5 ... 4 ... 3 ...: Josh Brolin plays the president in a film with ups and downs for those of every political stripe. Lionsgate

 

by Linda Holmes

It's a tense time: elections are looming, attack ads are everywhere, and many of us just want it to be over. Into this loaded environment comes Oliver Stone's W., an oddly detached look at a presidency that hasn't even ended yet.

The portrayals of not only the president, but also Dick Cheney and other prominent figures, makes it easy to break down your reaction along partisan lines — but let's put that aside. Let's reach across the aisle. Let's be a uniter, not a divider, and consider the five best and worst things about the film that have nothing to do with what party you belong to:

The Best

1. Thandie Newton's Condoleezza Rice voice. It doesn't fit with the rest of the movie at all, since it's so broad that it constantly seems like Tina Fey is about to come wandering out to play the flute. In that sense, it's actually distracting and arguably ... bad. Nevertheless, as a sketch-comedy portrayal, it's funny: accurate without being insulting.

The rest of the list, after the jump...

2. The suggestion, however brief, that James Josh Brolin and James Cromwell might have a fistfight. Llewelyn Moss from No Country For Old Men and the farmer from Babe, trying to knock each other's blocks off? That's theater, people.

3. The portrayal of '80s and '90s conservative hair for women. Impenetrable. Sturdy. Thoroughly American.

4. No one mentioning how short "Karl Rove" is. In real life, Rove is about the same height as George Bush. In the movie, actor Toby Jones (who, at a reported 5'5", is short enough that he made a persuasive Truman Capote in 2006's Infamous) is about seven inches shorter than Josh Brolin — and seems even smaller. It gives the two a bizarre Jiminy Cricket/Pinocchio feel, but absolutely nobody ever speaks of it.

5. Dick Cheney's Magic Map Of Doom. As Richard Dreyfuss, playing Cheney, wanders around a high-tech situation room spinning various doomsday scenarios and explaining the importance of oil, the giant projected map on the wall seems to magically transform itself to represent whatever he's talking about. He talks about controlling Iran, and little American flags pop up on the map to represent hypothetical military bases. Either he sneaked into the room ahead of time to program a remarkably detailed PowerPoint presentation, or that wall reads minds.

The Worst

1. The go-nowhere pretzel-choking incident. Aside from the fact that "he choked on a pretzel" is a strangely funny medical emergency, it really has no reason to be here. And since it's a story everyone knows, you don't even get the shocked "He did ... what?" response that ensued when it happened in real life. When you're trying to tell a story that covers about 40 years of a guy's life, and your movie is already two hours and 10 minutes long, you don't necessarily want to throw in a big gagging scene just for the heck of it.

2. You say he was head cheerleader, but you don't show it? For shame. I want to see Josh Brolin at the bottom of the pyramid.

3. Elizabeth Banks with nothing to do. Banks is a really warm and engaging actress, but as Laura Bush, she's window-dressing. Granted, Laura isn't as well-known — particularly for specific tics or embarrassing stories — as some of the other people being portrayed, but they still should have managed something better than the endless scenes of her calmly patting her husband on the shoulder.

4. Two hours and 10 minutes long? Did I mention it's two hours and 10 minute long? Edit, edit, edit.

5. Mastication! While the movie includes about 20 gruesome close-ups of Josh Brolin chewing (it's a motif!), it would have been even better with 21. That's the bottom line: There's just not quite enough chewing.