Every now and then, you get a reminder that half of life is showing up.

And the other half is not losing your stuff.

This week on The Amazing Race, the highly likable mother-son team of Toni and Dallas had made it all the way to the final four, along with three less likable teams. In descending order of likability and the mutters of disinterest they inspire, those teams were: brother and sister Nick and Starr (eh), semi-feuding couple Ken and Tina (feh), and incompetent buffoon clown can-barely-find-their-own-feet pals Dan and Andrew (bleh).

The previous week, Dan and Andrew had given perhaps the worst performance by any team, in any leg, ever. Most notably, they had to quit on a task and try a different one, because Dan couldn't walk in formation. Not tango, not mambo, not limbo: just walk. Walk in a straight line in a rhythmic fashion. Couldn't do it. Don't believe me? See for yourself. It was like Elaine dancing on Seinfeld, if Elaine had only been trying to walk at the time.

More on morons, after the jump...

 

Unfortunately for the other teams, the race's integrity, and the concept of meritocracy, the marching leg happened to be one of the race's "non-elimination" legs, where the team that finishes last learns at the very end that this is a special week where being in last place doesn't get you bounced. So Dan and Andrew stayed in.

This week sent the teams rushing around Moscow, where Dallas was temporarily separated from his mom while doing a task. Unfortunately, he was permanently separated from the little bag where the team keeps its money and passports.

This is where Race isn't Survivor. They can't just give you more rice, or stitch up your knee, or blur your rear end if it turns out your swimsuit is too revealing. If you're in Russia without a passport, you're...actually in Russia without a passport. So in all likelihood, Toni and Dallas would have been forced to drop out at the end of the leg anyway, unless they wanted to try to stow away in someone's luggage. But as a result of trying to get around cheaply after losing all their money, they came in last anyway, and they were eliminated.

And so Dan and Andrew are in the finals. Dan and Andrew, who cannot walk. Dan and Andrew, who once lost their shoes and had to buy more in the airport. Dan and Andrew, who would probably never have been cast but for the popularity of Judd Apatow movies about guys who have no recognizable merit but become successful anyway.

So I guess it really is shaping up to be a story right out of Hollywood.