Awards Season

Ten Can't-Do Dresses From The SAG Awards Red Carpet

Kate Winslet at the Screen Actors Guild Awards

The red-carpet dress: Beauty is one thing; tripping is another. Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images hide caption

itoggle caption Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images

I like to look at pretty dresses. How luscious is the color of that dress on Kate Winslet? But the older and grumpier I become, the more difficult it gets for me to just look at a dress without thinking about logistics. What about walking? What about breathing? What about sitting in an auditorium seat for a couple of hours?

Not all these things are concerns for the people in attendance at the major festive celebrations of Hollywood, but they are concerns to me.

This is the lens through which I see beautiful dresses on celebrities now; I analyze what you can't do in that dress.

Can't Go To Best Buy Without Being Stopped By Security And Accused Of Smuggling Out A Nintendo Wii: Angelina Jolie

Angelina Jolie at the Screen Actors Guild Awards

Angelina Jolie Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images hide caption

itoggle caption Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images

Can't Get Anyone To Pay Attention To Your Very Pretty Face: Emily Blunt

Emily Blunt at the Screen Actors Guild Awards

Emily Blunt Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images hide caption

itoggle caption Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images

Can't Find A Competent Train-Wrangler: Claire Danes

Claire Danes at the Screen Actors Guild Awards

Claire Danes Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images hide caption

itoggle caption Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images

The rest of the list, after the jump...

Can't Sit Down Without People Behind You Accusing You Of Sitting On Telephone Book To Seem Taller: Teri Hatcher

Teri Hatcher at the Screen Actors Guild Awards

Teri Hatcher Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images hide caption

itoggle caption Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images

Can't Find A Comfortable Place For Your Left Hand: Amy Adams

Amy Adams at the Screen Actors Guild Awards

Amy Adams Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images hide caption

itoggle caption Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images

Can't Move Your Arms For Fear Of FCC Violations: Emile Hirsch's Unidentified Date

Emile Hirsch's guest at the Screen Actors Guild Awards

Unidentified guest of Emile Hirsch Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images hide caption

itoggle caption Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images

Can't Get People To Stop Pushing Your Dress Back Up On Your Shoulder, No Matter How Many Times You Say, "It's Supposed To Be Like That": Christina Applegate

Christina Applegate at the Screen Actors Guild Awards

Christina Applegate Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images hide caption

itoggle caption Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images

Can't Turn Around At The After-Party Without Knocking The Hors D'Oeuvres Off The Table: Holly Hunter

Holly Hunter at the Screen Actors Guild Awards

Holly Hunter Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images hide caption

itoggle caption Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images

Can't Even Pretend To Care About Awards Enough To Put On An Uncomfortable Dress Anymore, But Thanks For The Award Anyway: Meryl Streep

Meryl Streep at the Screen Actors Guild Awards

Meryl Streep Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images hide caption

itoggle caption Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images

Can't Maintain Personal Space And Get People To Behave Appropriately: The Screen Actors Guild Award Statuette

Christina Hendricks of Mad Men holds a statuette at the Screen Actors Guild Awards

Christina Hendricks of Mad Men with her statuette Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images hide caption

itoggle caption Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images

Comments

 

Please keep your community civil. All comments must follow the NPR.org Community rules and Terms of Use. NPR reserves the right to use the comments we receive, in whole or in part, and to use the commenter's name and location, in any medium. See also the Terms of Use, Privacy Policy and Community FAQ.