The Fug Girls: The Ghosts Of Oscar Fashion Past (And Future)

by Linda Holmes

The fashion blog Go Fug Yourself is one of the sharpest and funniest destinations on the Internet, and your hands-down best bet for red-carpet fashion critiques.

It's won a boatload of awards, and it's been written up in Time and Newsweek and The Wall Street Journal and Entertainment Weekly, and there's just not time to list the accolades — but they are all deserved. There's even a book, The Fug Awards, perfect for the analog fashion critic in you.

So we're glad to report that The Fug Girls, Heather and Jessica, were kind enough to take time out of one of their busiest weeks — they're covering New York's Fashion Week for NYMag.com — to answer some Oscars 101 questions, and to warmly (?) recall the terrifying ghosts of red carpets past.

Be sure to explore the photo gallery above to see most of the outfits Jessica and Heather mention here — you may have blocked out the memory of the Demi Moore bike shorts, and it's just not the same if you can't see them for yourself.

What's your favorite Oscars outfit of all time? What made it successful?

JESSICA: I think mine would be Bjork's swan dress. I would not say it was successful, but that dress has given people comedic fodder — not to mention Halloween costumes — for literally years, and there's something to be said for that. On the other side of the coin, it's very hard to say what I think is the all-time most beautiful gown, as there have been so many, but I loved Marion Cotillard's white Gaultier from last year. I am looking forward to seeing what she wears this year.

HEATHER: I'm lousy at remembering this stuff year-to-year. Half the time I can't even remember stuff I fugged a week ago. My mind is a lousy archive. I do remember thinking Penelope Cruz's pink strapless dress with that feathered train — she wore it the year she was nominated for Volver, and I think it was Versace — was stunning. It was exactly the kind of dress I feel like a girl ought to wear to the Oscars, because when else can you go that big, that dreamy? The gown wouldn't really be possible at any old movie premiere, so I admired her for living the kind of red-carpet princess fantasy I feel like all little girls have when they dream of being actresses. You know, before they learn the business is all about rejection and sadness and pills.

Disasters, up-and-comers, and why Freida Pinto may be luckier than Jennifer Hudson, after the jump...

If you could go back and undo one disastrous outfit (whether because it was so bad or because it launched other bad outfits), which one would you choose?

JESSICA: I would never undo a disastrous outfit! What else would we have to write about? But I imagine Demi Moore would like to undo the year she designed her own gown, and it involved bike shorts. Celebrities rarely do well at designing their own look, I have to say. It's best left to the professionals.

HEATHER: Yeah, the bad outfits are so delightful, it'd be tough to encourage wiping them off the planet — as much as we all love a pretty and perfect Oscar dress, I think we all secretly cheer when someone like Rebecca Miller walks down the red carpet wearing a door-knocker. Although I suppose in general I wouldn't mind going back in time and locking Kate Moss in a closet or something. Most of the time I really hate her style, and I feel like it begat Sienna Miller and a whole host of leggings-clad starlets who think being sloppy and tangled and matted is chic.

Who's the most consistently successful red-carpet dresser (of those who you'd expect at the Oscars) these days? Has anyone come out recently and made a run at the title?

JESSICA: Kate Winslet usually looks lovely, so I expect more of the same from her on Sunday. I also am looking forward to seeing what Cate Blanchett wears. She doesn't always look great, but she always looks interesting.

HEATHER: I hope she even comes; she skipped the Globes, I think, didn't she? See what I mean about not being able to remember? If only there existed some kind of global network of computers on which I could look up such information.

Anyway, I am very curious to see Anne Hathaway, who I think is making a run at the title. To be honest I was never a fan of hers, but I liked the Marchesa she chose for last year's Oscars. And she famously did the Summer Breakup/My Ex Is In Prison Press Tour in really lovely style — her tastes are maturing, and I think she's going to mature into a celebrity who does it right more often than she gets it wrong. For now she is still hit-or-miss, but so is everyone, and I think she'll have a lot of designers (and certainly Marchesa again) throwing gowns at her for her consideration. She should be able to make a smart choice. I just hope whatever she picks distracts us from how painfully thin she is now.

Why do people still do stupid, stupid things on the red carpet? Is it listening to stylists? Is it overambition? Is it a mirror shortage?

JESSICA: I think it depends. Sometimes, it's just that this person doesn't have a good eye for what works on them, or what will work for the occasion (or in pictures) and that trips them up. But I think that when a big star looks bad, it's generally because they don't have someone who is willing to tell them, "No, that looks terrible on you," even if it's a dress the celebrity loves. It seems to me like an honest stylist is worth his or her weight in gold.

HEATHER: I'm sure a big part of it is people wanting to make an impact — trying too hard, and overreaching, to make a best-dressed list or even just to ensure a lot of attention (especially if the night is not necessarily your own, like say, you're not a nominee or you're at a movie premiere of something you're not in).

I also suspect a lot of it is the allure of couture, or of that semi-snooty word "vintage" (sometimes I really think people call any old thing that's pre-worn "vintage" just because it sounds impressive, and it drives me insane). I mean, if someone from Chanel is hand-delivering you haute couture from the Paris runways, it's probably pretty hard to put it on and say, "Hmm, this makes me look like a meatball sub. HIDEOUS." I can see getting carried away just by the cachet.

I also think people don't take pictures of themselves in the dresses to see how they move, how they reflect the light, how they handle flashes, etc. I'm sure that feels ridiculous, but hey, a picture is what lasts, and so it makes sense on your big night to take precautions when deciding what to wear.

What do you expect to see this year, based on the shows leading up to this and perhaps what's happening at Fashion Week? Anyone in particular you're especially excited to see?

JESSICA: I am never sure what to expect, actually. We've seen a lot of black at Fashion Week, but I hope the celebs don't look too downtrodden on Sunday. I always want people to wear the most outlandish items they can find, because that is more entertaining for all of us, but at the very least I am hoping to see some color. I'm most excited to see what Slumdog Millionaire's Freida Pinto wears. She seems to be very fashion-savvy for someone making her film debut and thus far, she's been dressing beautifully.

HEATHER: I heard she's being dressed by Oscar de la Renta, who, in addition to his successes, is famous for helping Andre Leon Talley put poor Jennifer Hudson in that brown shift with the ridiculous gold bolero. So anything is possible. But I think Freida is less likely to make that mistake since she won't have A.L.T. barking in her ear.

I think we'll see a bit of a continued Michelle Obama Effect where people wear a lot of one-shouldered gowns a la her Inaugural dress, and I feel like we'll see a lot of fishtails, as usual. Boring. I swear, if Amy Adams shows up in something strapless with a fishtail hem — and her hair off to one side over her shoulder — I will fall asleep on the spot. The collections we just saw this past week had a lot of hot pink, but it might be a little soon to see that manifest itself on the red carpet.