3.4.2009: Models, Models, Models!

Above: It's like The CW is specifically trying to promote America's Next Top Model as an unbelievably idiotic Tyra Banks showcase. Clever scheme!.

by Linda Holmes

The world is divided into America's Next Top Model people and people who absolutely do not understand America's Next Top Model people. If you are in the former group, you are currently squeeing over the fact that tonight marks the two-hour season premiere. If you are in the latter group, I congratulate you on your restraint and your avoidance of unnecessary Tyra Banks exposure. (The CW, 8 p.m.)

But wait! Believe it or not, there are two model-search shows starting new seasons on the same night. Bravo's pretender to the throne, Make Me A Supermodel also starts tonight. Acceptable excuses for watching include: (1) Tyson Beckford is attractive; and (2) Tyson Beckford is still attractive. (Bravo, 10 p.m.)

Okay, but seriously, in the realm of actual meritorious television, there's a new Lost tonight, in which Sawyer is apparently plotting and lying — always the best part of any Lost episode. (ABC, 9 p.m.)

One more, as they say, reality bite: Top Chef wraps things up with the reunion special, and if history is any guide, they'll be rolling out the annual Funny T-Shirt With A Saying On It. I think it's safe to assume the quote will come from Fabio. Note that this is an hour earlier than you'd usually find the show, to make way for the Supermodel premiere at 10. (Bravo, 9 p.m.)

There's a new Damages, too, for the Glenn Close partisans among you, and this one is called "You Got Your Prom Date Pregnant." So there's that. (FX, 10 p.m.)

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