My word of honor, I wrote the following text message last night: "In other news, Herschel [Walker] and Clint Black have just been accused by Tom Green of throwing Andrew Dice Clay under the bus in a cupcake-making task."

The context, of course, was NBC's Celebrity Apprentice, the show for people who thought the regular version of The Apprentice had too much of a substantive connection to their day-to-day lives.

No, really: Feel like watching an anonymous copier salesman hawk lemonade to impress Donald Trump hits a little too close to home? Okay, let's make it Joan Rivers selling cupcakes to impress Donald Trump.

Poor Herschel Walker, trying to lead the unleadable, after the jump (with Celebrity Apprentice spoilers, as if you care)...

 

Celebrity Apprentice is precisely the kind of show that is watchable only in a social setting, which can include foisting it on your friends via text message, as I did above.

As you will see from the clip, I was perfectly faithful to the text — or "canon," as