by Linda Holmes
There are moments when words of actual criticism fail, and the pilot of ABC's new sitcom Surviving Suburbia, starring Bob Saget, has brought me to one of those moments. Essentially, Surviving Suburbia is for the Bob Saget fan who found Full House (1) too funny; (2) too gritty; (3) too plausible; and (4) inadequately stocked with little girls saying ostensibly adorable things.
The good news is that now, you know that those 30 minutes you were undoubtedly planning to devote to watching this pilot -- which airs tonight at 9:30 after Dancing With The Stars -- are available to do other things that will be more enjoyable than watching Surviving Suburbia.
Like what, you ask?
Floss your teeth repeatedly. It's almost tax time -- redo your 1040 from scratch! Peel some potatoes, even if you just throw them away when you're done. Don't you have bathtub grout that needs whitening? Go to the airport and take in the hubbub of baggage claim. Put gum in your child's hair just so you can spend time removing it.
Just a little advice from Monkey See to you.