Fundamental Plot Truths: Spoilers And The Bonnie Bedelia Rule

Bonnie Bedelia: She can help you decipher the trickiest movie plots. Getty Images

 

by Linda Holmes

This entry will spoil the ending of Presumed Innocent, a so-so Harrison Ford movie from 1990, as well as the conclusion of last night's episode of ABC's Castle. (I realize that seems impossible. I assure you, it is not.)

Most Excellent UPDATE (thanks to Kim from NPR): Okay. So I watched that episode and distinctly heard them say both "WD-40" and "motor oil," and I was totally confused, because I didn't think WD-40 was motor oil, but that's what they said, so I went with it. Except they didn't, of course, say that; they said "10W-40." And that IS motor oil. Thank you for your indulgence, those of you who tolerated my bafflement. I apologize profusely. As Kim pointed out, it would have been quite the devoted murderer spraying a little bottle of WD-40 into a bathtub until it was full. Oh, television.

Last night, while enjoying an episode of ABC's banter-heavy crime procedural Castle in the company of my parents, I found myself explaining something called the Bonnie Bedelia Rule.

In this episode, a woman was drowned in a bathtub full of motor oil (I don't think anyone who makes 10W-40 paid for that particular product placement), and one of the witnesses who was interviewed early was played by Susan Ruttan, who once played Roxanne on L.A. Law. Ruttan had about three lines, and then the story moved on.

"Now," I said, "she is going to turn out to be the killer, according to the Bonnie Bedelia Rule."

The rule, after the jump...

In 1990's Presumed Innocent, Bonnie Bedelia plays the wife of Harrison Ford's character, who has been carrying on an affair with a woman at his office who's now been killed. Suspicion falls on him, et cetera, and for the first 75 percent of the movie, Bedelia does pretty much nothing except blandly stand around.

That's why I knew, watching the movie, that she was going to be the killer. This was two years after Die Hard. Bonnie Bedelia wasn't going to stand around for a whole movie doing nothing. In fact nobody would even bother to cast a real actress in that part, based on the first three-quarters of the script. Therefore, the mere casting of Bonnie Bedelia spoiled the ending, because it was perfectly obvious that there was going to be some intense closing emotion involving that character.

Which there was. Because she's the killer. She did it with the hammer from the basement! DUN!

The same thing happens on Law & Order all the time. They interview a murder victim's casual work acquaintance 10 minutes into the episode in an interview that lasts 30 seconds and is apparently of no significance, and you think to yourself, "Well, since that's an Emmy-winning character actor who probably cost more than anyone else they cast in this episode, I'm guessing that's not the last we're going to see of him."

And then later, someone says, "Hmm, the victim wrote a check for $10,000, four days before she died, to ...that casual work acquaintance!"

So when I saw Susan Ruttan, I said, "Susan Ruttan made L.A. Law for seven or eight years; she's not getting out of bed to speak three lines on Castle. She's coming back later to be the killer." In a very limited sense, I was right that she did have one more scene — but in that one, she had maybe one more line. And she wasn't the killer! I was foiled!

This could herald an entirely new era of fooling audiences on crime shows. "Special Appearance By James Spader As The Accountant Who Had Nothing To Do With It!" "With Marlee Matlin As The Teacher Whose Alibi Holds Up!" "Featuring Ted Danson As The Genuinely Irrelevant Boss!"

I would be completely fooled. Possibly in front of my family.