cupcake with white icing and sprinkles Very bad ideas: "Don't you want to eat this cupcake? Don't you? Don't you? Huh? Huh?" iStockphoto.com
 

by Linda Holmes

There's a new service that will allow bakeries to send you a tweet every time they pull fresh baked goods out of the oven.

What kind of a twisted, bare-knuckled sadist thought this up? Look at this feed from Albion's Oven.

"Bouncy, beautiful cup cakes, nice and iced, plump, and ready for your delight. Come and get 'em."

"Chunky slabs of sticky CHOCOLATE CAKE, munchably moist, freshly baked."

All day long, this will be sent to you. All day long. Eat some warm, pliable cookies! Wouldn't you rather put that salad down and have a delicious, buttery croissant? Who needs adequate blood flow to your extremities when you can have CHOCOLATE CAKE?

What's next? "A frosty margarita is sitting on the bar with a slice of lime on the rim and droplets of sweat beading on the outside of the glass." "Wouldn't dusty lungs full of tobacco smoke feel great today?" "If you fake an attack of tuberculosis right now, you could be at the ball game before they throw out the first pitch!"

Sheesh. The popularity of Ashton Kutcher's Twitter feed doesn't actually mean people are looking to be tortured.

categories: Internet

11:24 - April 1, 2009

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