Lost: Juliet (Elizabeth Mitchell), Sawyer (Josh Holloway), and Kate (Evangeline Lily) were only three of the many characters tied up in last night's season finale, which we loved ten times and hated ten times. We can explain.
ABC's Lost wrapped up its fifth season last night in typical fashion, with an ambitiously irritating (or is that irritatingly ambitious?) season finale. My love/hate relationship with the show continues to grow. Nothing else on TV elicits such strong reactions from my spot in the recliner, and I suppose that's what it's finally all about.
Here, I present a mathematical breakdown of last night's top ten and bottom ten moments.
Warning: Lots of insider-y fanspeak, arcane references, and several dozen spoilers dead ahead.
The top ten moments of the finale, and the bottom ten, after the jump...
Top Ten Moments
10. Richard Alpert's Latin surprise. It's a classic Lost moment that suggests worlds of possibilities with a single line of dialogue. When "Ricardus" replies in Latin to Ilana's cryptic question, we're left to wonder — just how old is this guy?
9. Juliet lets go. Elizabeth Mitchell — whose clavicles are the luminous center of the universe — is the best thing to happen to Lost since Michael Emerson joined the cast. I'm a hopeless Sawyer-Juliet shipper, and her final scenes messed me up for real. Moments like these, I realize how deeply Lost has its hooks into me.
8. The magnetic well. Sometimes, I'm just impressed in an analytical way at how Lost manages its special effects. Think about the technical challenge of filming something like this: the collapsing drill platform, the flying metal, et cetera. I didn't spot much CGI — just an impressive array of optical and mechanical effects.
7. Hurley fails time-travel interrogation. Another sterling Jorge Garcia moment as Hugo tries to convince Dr. Candle he's not from the future. When were you born? Who's president? "OK, dude, we're from the future." It reminded me of memorizing fake ID details in college: You just can't wing it in these situations.
6. Ben vs. Jacob. Michael Emerson's performance — particularly in his face-off with Jacob in the Forbidden Lair of Underground Weaving — is a continuing clinic on screen acting. A lifetime of crazy passes over his face in this scene, just before he gets all stabby. Ben: "What about me?" Jacob: "Well, what about you?" Devastating.
5. The four-toed statue. Finally, a loving and lingering shot of that giant Anubis statue we've been wondering about for years. Like scratching a serious itch.
4. Nadia hit by the car. Even though we all saw it coming miles away (characters don't hover at busy intersections to swap exposition), it was still a masterfully shot and timed moment. Let this be a lesson for all you love-struck pedestrians.
3. The New Sawyer. Josh Holloway's wisecracking bad-boy shtick was wearing awfully thin, but his transformation is complete in the season finale. Sawyer's dedication to Juliet is...oh, I suppose "heartwarming" is the word. But more importantly, he appears to be the only character left with a clear motivation, talking any sense. Look, all he wants is the girl!
2. Jacob's puppet mastering. It takes a certain kind of narrative moxie to introduce a new character, then insert him via flashbacks throughout the entire mythology of the show. This is the sort of high-wire stunt writing that makes Lost so rewarding.
1. The Locke reveal. Holy smoke monster — Locke is really dead? The guy we thought was Locke is really Jacob's unnamed island nemesis? After the shock wore off, I felt relief: Locke's ruthlessness in many moments this season was freaking me out. I'm glad it wasn't really him. Was it?
Bottom Ten Moments
10. The absence of Jeremy Davies as Daniel Faraday. Yes, I know he's dead, but that has never been much of an impediment to an appearance on this show. Faraday's twitchy energy and puppy-dog likeability are already sorely missed.
9. The cliffhanger ending. I concede that it's virtually impossible to script a season-ender that leaves the viewer both satisfied and hungry for more. But Lost has managed it previously, several times, so I was holding out hope. Last night's fade-to-white Big Bang? Not so much.
8. The nuclear backpack. Remember when the castaways found the dynamite, way back in Season One? Remember the incredible tension as the characters handled the explosive material? Remember what happened after that? Remember Dr. Artz, a.k.a. Dr. Parts? Apparently, Jack has no recollection either, as he rolls around dodging bullets with an atomic bomb on his back.
7. Dharma van cavalry arrives. In the middle of yet another gunfight (see #1, below), the Dharma van arrives to rescue Jack and Sayid. This was just like that one A-Team episode. Which was it ... oh, yeah — all of them. Murdock, get us out of here!
6. Jack vs. Sawyer, Bantamweight Division. May as well have had a giant neon "Obligatory Big Fight Scene" sign in the background. If I have this right, Sawyer is prepared to kill Jack, because Juliet and Kate are all BFFs now, only he doesn't, because Juliet changes her mind with some seriously precise timing? No.
5. Sayid gets shot. Again? Really? You're going there again?
4. Richard knocking out Eloise in the cave. I understand the show needs to pair up and split off characters regularly, but this was the finale's most transparent moment of plot expediency.
3. Sawyer shooting out the communications panel in the submarine. For one thing, as Hunt for Red October has taught us, submarines don't react well to bullets. For another, the old shoot-the-control-panel bit was old when Luke Skywalker did it in 1977. Little moments like these break the surface tension of suspended disbelief.
2. Arbitrary motivational switchups. You know how actors are always looking for their "motivation" in a scene? Well, Lost this season has been the ultimate thespian workout, as the scripts keep demanding characters change their minds and switch their allegiances scene to scene. Kate and Juliet were particularly abused in the finale, conspicuously tugged around by the demands of the plot.
1. The guns. I've been registering this sensible complaint for years: Knock it off with all the gunplay — the last refuge of the desperate screenwriter. For several seasons now, Lost has been resolving way, way, way too many scenes with firearms, and the finale was no exception.
How I long for the first season, when there was exactly one gun, and it was a commodity, and Sawyer used it to shoot a charging polar bear. Can't argue with that.
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