Five Humble Suggestions That Will Make You A More Ethical Fan

Robert Pattinson: He knows they're taking this picture, which is what makes it less creepy. Jason Merritt/Getty Images

 

by Linda Holmes

It was more than a little unsettling to read the reports last week about Twilight star Robert Pattinson being clipped by a taxi in New York in an incident that at least some reports attributed to a throng of fans that had tracked him to the filming location of his new movie, Remember Me. (The studio denied it was the fans, but frankly, they would.)

Even if it wasn't the fans who caused Pattinson to be running across the street, it certainly could have been. It's a hallmark of modern fandom to share information about filming locations, and that means people show up. In fact, Alan Ball, who's done several shows and currently works on HBO's True Blood, discussed the problem in the same clip we linked to last week in the context of spoilers.

This behavior is, to say the least, gross. And it's not that hard to be an ethical fan. A few humble suggestions follow.

1. No stalking. Don't assume this applies only to people who like Twilight and the Jonas Brothers. The first expression of concern I remember hearing from someone who was concerned that her fellow fans were going too far in their pursuit of personal contact with actors had to do with The West Wing. You take regular fandom and combine it with high-functioning nerds, and that's a potent combination.

If you know you're not welcome and you show up anyway, and your reason is to try to make personal contact with someone against his or her will -- be it Robert Pattinson or Martin Sheen -- you are being creepy. Don't be creepy. Don't bring cupcakes, don't bring their needlepoint likenesses, don't bring your exposed bosom and a Sharpie. It's creepy.

Photos of the hunted and the proper selection of mortal enemies, after the jump...

2. Don't buy photos of people being hunted. Grainy, blurry pictures of famous people are not an artistic choice. They are the result of long lenses and unpleasant pursuit scenarios. If you're hoping to catch your favorite famous person wearing something ridiculous, the good news is that he or she probably shows up at plenty of public events in clown shoes or leggings or something equally undignified. People dress much more embarrassingly for the Golden Globes than they do when they're going to Starbucks.

3. Show restraint when you don't have to. When I lived in New York, I was walking down Court Street in Brooklyn when I heard the distinctive voice of a fairly minor television personality who was leaning against the outside of a bank building, having what seemed to be a conversation about the future direction of her show.

I considered pausing to "rummage through my purse" or maybe "look at a map" (fortunately, this being New York, I also could have "begun talking to a mailbox" or simply "stared into space" without attracting attention) so I could stand there and figure out what she was saying. I am only human. And then I thought, "If I were a moderately famous person, I would like to think I could talk on the phone like a normal person without some yahoo sharing the contents of my conversations with the Internet." Don't be that yahoo.

4. Don't make it personal. If you can't find a better mortal enemy than the person who likes your least favorite band, you really need to get better at finding mortal enemies. It's only Coldplay.

5. Don't make everything about your favorite thing. You may not know what I mean by this, but you do if you have ever met, for instance, a person who can turn an online discussion about world hunger into a discussion of Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles.

(Note: I will now receive angry missives from fans of Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, who will not, unfortunately, use the subject line, "Irony.")

These few small modifications to fan behavior will make it more likely that you will be a useful advocate of your favorite show, actor, or small-time reality-show participant, and less likely that you will be the indirect cause of your favorite actor being flattened by a cab. Seriously, people, knock it off.