a bank of microphones
iStockphoto.com

Sure, there's a presidential press conference about health care tonight that will be covered by most of your major broadcast and news networks (but not Fox). For TV viewers, this is notable mostly because it's bumping Wipeout from 8:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. Oh, the humanity.

(Fox, incidentally, has decided to stick with So You Think You Can Dance. Perhaps the president should have tried a cha-cha.)

But why stop at several broadcast networks and several news networks? I don't want to tell basic cable how to live, but I have some humble advice if they'd like to get in on the health-care-debate action. And they wouldn't have to venture far from the shows they make anyway.

TLC
The Effect Of Insurance Regulation On The Woman With Eight Arms

Discovery
Deadliest Catch: Goriest Gaffer-Hook Injuries

USA
Burn Notice: The Copay

Lifetime
Mother, May I Sleep With A CPAP Machine To Combat Apnea?

Bravo
Top Chefs' Reattached Fingertips

E!
E! True Hollywood Story (any episode)

VH1
Scott Baio Is 47 And Pays Unmanageably High Premiums

TNT
Law & Order marathon

We
Bridal Bloodwork

Food Network
Semi-Homemade Elective Surgery

Nickelodeon
Leftover Surgical Spongebob Squarepants