by Linda Holmes
Last night's midnight screening of G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra (uh, more about that later) was the first time I had seen this trailer for Old Dogs, from -- logically enough -- the director of Wild Hogs.
Now, here are some things in this trailer that concern me.
1. John Travolta.
2. Robin Williams.
3. John Travolta with Robin Williams.
4. Jokes about Japanese businessmen.
5. Kid-hit-in-the-face humor.
6. Golf-ball-in-the-groin humor.
7. Travolta in his womanizer guise.
8. Williams passing out with his face in his plate.
9. Justin Long with comical facial hair.
10. Camping humor.
11. Accidentally winding up in the zoo.
12. In the gorilla enclosure.
13. With a guy in a gorilla suit.
Balancing out all of this is Seth Green singing Air Supply, which could be pretty good. Okay, and possibly John Travolta being eaten by a penguin.
But as a whole, Old Dogs kind of terrifies me, as if they've taken everything about the modern whimsical family comedy that I dislike and stuffed it all into the same movie. Would it work to close my eyes through the whole thing except when Seth Green is singing?