Movies

It Will Be Disappointing For Many Reasons If The World Actually Ends In 2012

desk calendar reading 2012.
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While completing my project of reading all of Wikipedia one page at a time (so far, I have read about thermometers, Gavin McLeod and the origin of the Thanksgiving turkey), I learned that the world might end in 2012, which explains that movie that's about to come out about the possible end of the world in 2012.

If there really is an apocalypse in 2012, I will be very disappointed for a variety of reasons. These are some of them.

1. Will not fulfill lifelong dream of watching Olympic golf at the 2016 Summer Games in Rio (clarification: golf in Rio, watching from house)

2. Will be scooped on my own prediction of an apocalypse in 2014

3. Will regret selling worldly goods for 2013 balloon payment offered by man with book under arm called Understanding The Mayan Calendar

4. Will wish I had switched the first and second halves of my five-year plan, "Cleaning And Organizing" and "Lying Down And Relaxing"

5. Rumored Harry Potter sequel, called Scarlett, will never be completed

Lots more, after the jump.

6. Very unlikely to get one million Twitter followers by then; will have no idea what to put on tombstone

7. Will have no one to make tombstone

8. Have not yet accomplished enough to fill scandalous unauthorized biography

9. Will never get the chance to fully pay back my student loans

10. Adam Lambert fans will claim that the world is ending just like in his video, and therefore, he should have won

11. Early termination fee by cell-phone provider

12. Saw IX will never be released on Blu-ray

13. Will still probably be one of only a few isolated nerds with e-readers

14. Will never meet the cast of Survivor 26: Anaheim (budget cuts)

15. 25th Anniversary Multi-Disc Collectors Edition of Cocktail canceled

16. Will never see Romania adopt the Euro

17. Will probably not succeed in persuading Hugh Jackman to accelerate plans for Carousel remake to ensure pre-apocalypse release

18. Yankees will be denied 31st World Series title

19. Suri Cruise will not fulfill potential to become surly, out-of-control teenager

20. Will never realize personal goal of succeeding Carl Kasell

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