Steven Seagal in uniform on A&E's 'Steven Seagal: Lawman.'
Richard Knapp/A&E

Steven Seagal, seen here doing his night job, is the star of one of tonight's dude-based pieces of programming.

Now and then, one looks at the TV listings and things to oneself, "There is a theme emerging here."

Tonight's television schedule includes:

• Steven Seagal: Lawman. This is a real show. It is about ponytailed martial artist Steven Seagal's side job as a sheriff's deputy. I swear. I haven't had a chance to see this ahead of time, but I strongly recommend Alan Sepinwall's review. (A&E, 10 p.m.)

• Conspiracy Theory With Jesse Ventura. This is also a real show, in which former wrestler and Minnesota governor Jesse Ventura investigates "compelling plots and schemes." (truTV, 10 p.m.)

• Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares. The most important thing to understand about Gordon Ramsay is that he is a raging anger-ball on Hell's Kitchen, but he is much, much nicer and more interesting on this show, where he goes to restaurants and actually tries to help. And sometimes, in a refreshing twist, the restaurant fails anyway. I just watched a rerun yesterday where, about five minutes in, I thought, "This will never, ever, ever work out, because the entire concept is fundamentally flawed and the owner is not very bright and she has a chef who is even more goofy than she is." And I was right — the place folded in spite of his intervention. (BBC America, 8 p.m.)

• Dog The Bounty Hunter. A new season of whatever this is (oh, don't e-mail me, I know what it is, I just don't care what it is) premieres tonight. (A&E, 9 p.m.)

Have you guessed the theme yet? Dudes! Very angry, snarly dudes are everywhere! They hunt people! They track government black ops! They yell about mold in the refrigerator! They do whatever Steven Seagal does for the sheriff's department!

There's a feature on the E! entertainment wrap-up show The Soup in which host Joel McHale says, "Let's talk about chicks, man." And then a voice says, "Chicks, man," in a deep voice. I think after this, he might have to introduce "Let's talk about dudes, man."

Fortunately, if these dudes aren't to your liking, there's always a new Mythbusters on Discovery at 9:00 p.m., and for those of us who like our fellows smart and prone to blowing themselves up, that's where the real action is.