'Prince Of Persia,' Starring The Many Expressive Chests of Jake Gyllenhaal

So from what we can tell about Prince Of Persia: The Sands Of Time, it involves some sort of grave threat to Jake Gyllenhaal's chest, because Jake Gyllenhaal's chest seems to be doing most of the talking.

Or so the photography suggests.

Thus, we have psychically, through the magic of staring at pictures and inuiting what we might hear if we placed our ear very close to the monitor, collected some quotes from various versions of Jake Gyllenhaal's chest, as represented in various shots from the film.

Jake Gyllenhaal's Chest: "This is what I look like when I am flying. When I am momentarily freed from all restraints, and I can take to the sky like a bird. These are the moments I dream of."

Jake Gyllenhaal's Chest: "As you know, a deep V-neck is known to be slimming, and I reject all suggestions that it contains a suggestion of the disco era. You must broaden your mind. You might also be surprised to see that I have not shaved for this role. Shaving and waxing represent a departure of the chest from a state of nature, which I object to for philosophical reasons. I accept that my chest hair is nasty, brutish and short, but I maintain that this is the appropriate manner in which to maintain it. Of course, others may disagree, which is why I am developing a razor called The Leviathan."

 

Jake Gyllenhaal's Chest: "When I am asked to portray sadness or extreme hunger, I look deep inside myself and search for the perfect angle at which to slump so that the audience can see that things are not all merriment for me. I may appear strong — I may, in fact, appear invincible. But I am human and I have human vulnerabilities, and it is in these moments when I drape my shirt more loosely and angle myself forward that you may realize this for the first time."

Jake Gyllenhaal's Chest: "This scene was the unfortunate result of inexperienced management of the set. I explained a number of times that I am not to be blocked with props, other than small items such as a demitasse cup or possibly a small blade. I was irate as this was filmed, as I was well aware that my performance would be compromised by this scroll. I asked that it be moved; I asked that it be rearranged. I was ignored. Unfortunately, my craft is not always respected as much as I might wish."

Jake Gyllenhaal's Chest: "There is part of me, I admit, that thinks in retrospect that I should have gone with the leather duster vest or the scarf, but not both."

Jake Gyllenhaal's Chest: "This was my day off. As you can see, the film suffered."

Jake Gyllenhaal's Chest: "For obvious reasons, this will be my Christmas card."