Randy Jackson, Jennifer Lopez, Steven Tyler, and Ryan Seacrest appeared (silently, in large part) to announce that Lopez and Tyler are joining the judging panel for this year's
Everyone already knew that American Idol had selected Aerosmith's Steven Tyler and Maid In Manhattan's Jennifer Lopez to be its new judges, and that they would sit beside Randy "How Is THAT The Guy Who Still Has A Job?" Jackson in the upcoming season.
This didn't stop the show from announcing a giant public event where it would "unveil" the new judges. Unfortunately, things went ... sort of hilariously wrong.
1. There was no audio for the first seven or so minutes of what turned out to be a ten-minute live web stream. So in this heavily hyped web stream event, they didn't manage to get the sound turned on until it was almost three-quarters over. If you're going to bring Steven Tyler out on stage, where he will scream into a microphone, you really need sound. Otherwise, you're just looking at The Scream with longer hair.
2. Once the audio started, it sounded like it was being run through two tin cans, three hair dryers, a pile of rattling bike chains, and a choir of singing frogs before it made it to the audience. All this did, of course, was to set up critics on Twitter, like Reality Blurred's Andy Dehnart, who dryly noted, "We're used to ear pain on this show."
3. When the audio returned during Jennifer Lopez's appearance, it was just in time for her to tell us that what she's looking for is "the next Michael Jackson." Really, Jennifer Lopez? REALLY?
4. In other "Really, Jennifer Lopez?" news, she decided to wear a shiny jumpsuit, and other than the traveling production of Evel Knievel: The Musical, there is quite honestly no event at which anyone needs to wear a shiny jumpsuit.
5. The smoke machine. Boy, the sound may not have been working, but they had that smoke machine going great guns. Between the glittery clothing and the abundance of fog, it was like The Post-Apocalyptic Capades.
All in all, absolutely nothing we didn't already know: Jennifer Lopez. Steven Tyler. Randy Jackson. Ear pain. THIS ... is American Idol.