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'Avatar: Extended Collector's Edition' Special Features We'd Like To See

Neytiri and Jake i

Na'vi native Neytiri (voiced by Zoe Saldana) and the Na'vi avatar for the human Jake (Sam Worthington) will appear in the extended features on a new Avatar video release. Twentieth Century Fox hide caption

itoggle caption Twentieth Century Fox
Neytiri and Jake

Na'vi native Neytiri (voiced by Zoe Saldana) and the Na'vi avatar for the human Jake (Sam Worthington) will appear in the extended features on a new Avatar video release.

Twentieth Century Fox

So the special features that will appear on the Avatar Extended Collector's Edition Blu-ray and Theatrical Special Edition DVD (say that three times fast, and it will be almost as long as Avatar! Hiyo!) have been released. They will include a "family audio track with all objectionable language removed" (presumably, this does not include removal of the hair-braid mating rituals), as well as 16 more minutes of footage, for those who simply found the first version too brief.

BUT DON'T ANSWER YET! It will also include another 45 minutes of deleted scenes, meaning that you will theoretically have access to a total of 223 minutes of Avatar. Don't forget your 17 featurettes! And the "Pandorapedia"!

Despite the fact that the press release quotes director James Cameron as saying that this set includes "everything in it the fans could possibly want" (meaning he is committing to not producing any more in the future, RIGHT?), we are not so sure. We would purchase it if — and only if — it contained the following.

1. Alternate audio track in which the humans speak Latin and the Na'vi speak Klingon

2. Deleted cameo by Steve Martin as shorts-wearing waiter who serves wine on Jake and Neytiri's first date

3. "Behind The Making Of 17 Featurettes" featurette

4. Locker-sized Jake Sully poster with "AVATAR" spelled out in pink bubble letters

5. Bonus video: "How To Make Your Own Motion-Capture Feature Film Using A Disposable Camera, A Utility Knife, A Car Battery And 400 Ping-Pong Balls"

6. Blooper reel, including embarrassing love-scene moment where hair braid is accidentally inserted into ear

7. Secrets Of The Flying Horsey Thing

8. Feature-length commentary by James Cameron comparing every scene to similar but slightly inferior sequence in The Hurt Locker.

9. Alternate audio track in which every long and thoughtful pause is accompanied by "The Syncopated Clock."

10. Teaser trailer for Avatar 2: The Day The Giant Magic Trees Turned.

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