Sports

Equal Time Theater: Meet The Steelers!

A fan dressed as Robo-Malu, inspired by Troy Polamalu of the Pittsburgh Steelers, waits for the AFC Championship game between the New York Jets and the Steelers on January 23, 2011. i i

A fan dressed as Robo-Malu, inspired by Troy Polamalu of the Pittsburgh Steelers, waits for the AFC Championship game between the New York Jets and the Steelers on January 23, 2011. Ronald Martinez/Getty Images hide caption

itoggle caption Ronald Martinez/Getty Images
A fan dressed as Robo-Malu, inspired by Troy Polamalu of the Pittsburgh Steelers, waits for the AFC Championship game between the New York Jets and the Steelers on January 23, 2011.

A fan dressed as Robo-Malu, inspired by Troy Polamalu of the Pittsburgh Steelers, waits for the AFC Championship game between the New York Jets and the Steelers on January 23, 2011.

Ronald Martinez/Getty Images

After I wrote the other day about the Green Bay Packers with my usual cool detachment, it was suggested to me that it would be only fair to also introduce blog readers to the Pittsburgh Steelers, who will also be making an appearance in the Super Bowl as the champions of the AFC, which I believe stands for ... "Adequate Football Conference," right? It's "Adequate," I'm pretty sure.

At any rate, please meet your Pittsburgh Steelers, who also play football very, very well!

Pittsburgh Steelers fan Don Galla of Hagerstown, Maryland shows his true colors before the game. i i

Pittsburgh Steelers fan Don Galla of Hagerstown, Maryland shows his true colors before the game. Ronald Martinez/Getty Images hide caption

itoggle caption Ronald Martinez/Getty Images
Pittsburgh Steelers fan Don Galla of Hagerstown, Maryland shows his true colors before the game.

Pittsburgh Steelers fan Don Galla of Hagerstown, Maryland shows his true colors before the game.

Ronald Martinez/Getty Images

Far be it from me to comment on another fan's sincerity, but I think the objective-minded among you will agree that this gentleman is not fully committed. I see fully two or three square centimeters of exposed and unoccupied flesh that is severely diluting his message. Get serious, fan guy. Freezing Bratwurst Guy from the Packer post would never let this happen. Freezing Bratwurst Guy paints his eyeballs, I think.

Mewelde Moore catches a pass over Antonio Cromartie in the third quarter. i i

Mewelde Moore catches a pass over Antonio Cromartie in the third quarter. Gregory Shamus/Getty Images hide caption

itoggle caption Gregory Shamus/Getty Images
Mewelde Moore catches a pass over Antonio Cromartie in the third quarter.

Mewelde Moore catches a pass over Antonio Cromartie in the third quarter.

Gregory Shamus/Getty Images

Pretty sure this picture is sideways. That doesn't seem plausible.

Pittsburgh Steelers fans wave terrible towels and hope for the best. i i

Pittsburgh Steelers fans wave terrible towels and hope for the best. Al Bello/Getty Images hide caption

itoggle caption Al Bello/Getty Images
Pittsburgh Steelers fans wave terrible towels and hope for the best.

Pittsburgh Steelers fans wave terrible towels and hope for the best.

Al Bello/Getty Images

The terrible towel is the Pittsburgh equivalent of the giant foam-rubber cheese garment (available in many styles). And respectfully, the towels are colorful and all, but when was the last time you sat down to a delicious grilled towel sandwich, hmmm? Didn't think so. I think my point is made.

Ike Taylor #24 of the Pittsburgh Steelers tackles Jerricho Cotchery. i i

Ike Taylor #24 of the Pittsburgh Steelers tackles Jerricho Cotchery. Al Bello/Getty Images hide caption

itoggle caption Al Bello/Getty Images
Ike Taylor #24 of the Pittsburgh Steelers tackles Jerricho Cotchery.

Ike Taylor #24 of the Pittsburgh Steelers tackles Jerricho Cotchery.

Al Bello/Getty Images

On the other hand, this is quite charming: Here, Ike Taylor helpfully attempts to assist Jerricho Cotchery in the removal of his helmet, which appears to be stuck.

LaDainian Tomlinson of the New York Jets is brought down by LaMarr Woodley of the Pittsburgh Steelers. i i

LaDainian Tomlinson of the New York Jets is brought down by LaMarr Woodley of the Pittsburgh Steelers. Al Bello/Getty Images hide caption

itoggle caption Al Bello/Getty Images
LaDainian Tomlinson of the New York Jets is brought down by LaMarr Woodley of the Pittsburgh Steelers.

LaDainian Tomlinson of the New York Jets is brought down by LaMarr Woodley of the Pittsburgh Steelers.

Al Bello/Getty Images

While here, the Steelers do their civic duty by infiltrating and taking down a rogue conga line that has broken out in the middle of the game. (Caution: I am not casting aspersions in re: the conga; may also be the bunny hop.)

Brett Keisel #99 of the Pittsburgh Steelers looks on as his teammates face the Jets. i i

Brett Keisel #99 of the Pittsburgh Steelers looks on as his teammates face the Jets. Gregory Shamus/Getty Images hide caption

itoggle caption Gregory Shamus/Getty Images
Brett Keisel #99 of the Pittsburgh Steelers looks on as his teammates face the Jets.

Brett Keisel #99 of the Pittsburgh Steelers looks on as his teammates face the Jets.

Gregory Shamus/Getty Images

I definitely want to give credit where credit is due, so if you enjoy Brett Keisel's work for the Steelers, I strongly recommend you check out his Tiny Desk Concert.

Matt Spaeth holds up the ball after making a reception against Bart Scott. i i

Matt Spaeth holds up the ball after making a reception against Bart Scott. Al Bello/Getty Images hide caption

itoggle caption Al Bello/Getty Images
Matt Spaeth holds up the ball after making a reception against Bart Scott.

Matt Spaeth holds up the ball after making a reception against Bart Scott.

Al Bello/Getty Images

The Steelers are, in fact, reliably multitalented: after this, Matt Spaeth will pull a quarter out of your ear.

Stevenson Sylvester #55 of the Pittsburgh Steelers shows his team spirit. i i

Stevenson Sylvester #55 of the Pittsburgh Steelers shows his team spirit. Nick Laham/Getty Images hide caption

itoggle caption Nick Laham/Getty Images
Stevenson Sylvester #55 of the Pittsburgh Steelers shows his team spirit.

Stevenson Sylvester #55 of the Pittsburgh Steelers shows his team spirit.

Nick Laham/Getty Images

And finally, the Steelers are inventive. While it may appear to be a typical victory salute, I strongly suspect that this is actually Stevenson Sylvester's demonstration of a very clever way of smuggling two hams into the stadium simultaneously in order to obtain the greatest possible protein boost before the game in a ritual called "the nitrate slammer."

So one week from Sunday (this weekend is just a lot of throat-clearing also known as "the Pro Bowl"), join your friends and your enemies and the Packers and the Steelers, and enjoy what we'll all hope will be a very good game with a tolerable halftime show and commercials 10 percent less obnoxious than last year. Go Pack Go! May the best team win!

Comments

 

Please keep your community civil. All comments must follow the NPR.org Community rules and Terms of Use. NPR reserves the right to use the comments we receive, in whole or in part, and to use the commenter's name and location, in any medium. See also the Terms of Use, Privacy Policy and Community FAQ.