Television

Getting The Full Marge Simpson: Oxygen Brings Back 'Hair Battle Spectacular'

A hairdresser named Camouflage shows his work to judges Derek J and Eva on tonight's episode of Hair Battle Spectacular. i i

A hairdresser named Camouflage shows his work to judges Derek J and Eva on tonight's episode of Hair Battle Spectacular. Bret Hartman/Oxygen Media hide caption

itoggle caption Bret Hartman/Oxygen Media
A hairdresser named Camouflage shows his work to judges Derek J and Eva on tonight's episode of Hair Battle Spectacular.

A hairdresser named Camouflage shows his work to judges Derek J and Eva on tonight's episode of Hair Battle Spectacular.

Bret Hartman/Oxygen Media

I told you about Hair Battle Spectacular almost exactly a year ago, and when I look back at that piece now, I realize that it's ... just about exactly what I want to say to you about Hair Battle Spectacular today. I would stand by the observation: "If every single week, Top Chef were about making marzipan statues of various presidents of the United States and then sculpting their pets from cheese, it would approach the ridiculousness of Hair Battle Spectacular."

What makes HBS kind of great, though, is that nobody is pretending they care about things that are "wearable." You can't wear the hair that people design on this "fantasy hair" competition, unless you're wearing it in a very dark room full of people you will never, ever see again. Or you're Marge Simpson. This is the hair that taste forgot. This is the hair that makes Lady Gaga say, "You know, less might be more after all."

In the premiere, there are two challenges: one requires the contestants to create a three-foot-high hairdo based on a celebrity tweet (are you loving it yet?), and the other requires them to create an homage to their "celebrity crush." Along the way, you will see lips made of hair, turntables made of hair, and somebody who has taken the brave stance that this — this, right here — this is the hair that means "J.Lo."

Oxygen, 10:00 p.m. Be there or be able to walk through a doorway without ducking.

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