The Phillie Phanatic is a great mascot, sure. But not all are so lucky. (Elsa / Getty Images)

by Linda Holmes

Foam-headed mascots: Yay or nay?

On the one hand, the San Diego Chicken -- which is apparently actually called the Famous Chicken, perhaps to avoid accusations that he is provincial? -- drives me bazoo and always has. There are just as many stupid mascots as great ones, even if we just stay with Major League Baseball. For every Mr. Met, there is one like that dumb bear who works for the Twins, who doesn't even have a Wikipedia page, and therefore has clearly made no cultural impact at all.

I am beginning to think foam-headed mascots are not a force for good.

This important issue gets the attention it deserves, after the jump.

Continue reading "The Department Of Low-Stakes Controversies: Foam-Headed Mascots!" >

The Parsifal Mosaic, the apex of Robert Ludlum's career as an author of bad spy novel titles, will soon become a film under the direction of Ron Howard.

by Andy Carvin

It's been eight years since prolific spy novelist Robert Ludlum passed away, but thanks to Hollywood's penchant for milking some authors until there are no stories left to tell, we're still able to enjoy one of Ludlum's greatest gifts: the art of the absurd spy movie title.

From his very first literary offering, 1971's The Scarlatti Inheritance to The Bancroft Strategy, published posthumously in 2006, Ludlum managed to crank out a new spy novel almost every single year of his professional career. And the vast majority of them had that same three-word formula.

(The only two books of his that broke that structure were The Road to Gandolfo and The Road To Omaha, which apparently must've been gunning for big-screen premieres starring Bob Hope and Bing Crosby.)

Perhaps the best-known Hollywood adaptation of Ludlum's works is the Bourne series -- The Bourne Identity, The Bourne Supremacy and the Bourne Ultimatum -- starring Matt Damon. But there have been more than half a dozen other Ludlum films and miniseries, all of which utilized the same three-word formula, from The Rhinemann Exchange to The Hades Factor.

And now, director Ron Howard is getting into the mix, with last week's announcement that he'll be at the helm of a film adaptation of Robert Ludlum's -- wait for it -- The Parsifal Mosaic, perhaps the most deliciously ludicrous of all Ludlum titles.

Even for the entire spy movie genre, it's definitely near the top of the heap: earlier today, I saw documentary filmmaker John Pavlus quip on Twitter, "Ron Howard's next project will wrest honors for 'worst-titled spy movie ever' from Quantum of Solace."

John may indeed be right, but I think we can do even better than that. So here's our challenge to you: come up with the worst spy movie title ever, using Ludlum's three word formula. The only rule we'll require is that the first word is "The" and the third word is a noun; the rest of it is up to you. Personally, my favorite Ludlum formula works like this:

"The" + [Greek mythological hero OR theoretical physicist's surname] + [noun relating some type of situation]

...which gives us some potential titles such as The Heisenberg Incentive, The Szilard Conspiracy, The Achilles Dilemma and The Priapus Conundrum.

Think you can do better? Post your absurd spy movie titles below or tweet with the tag #AbsurdSpyMovies. We'll go through your suggestions and share some of our favorites. And maybe - just maybe - Hollywood will come knocking on your door.

You can follow Andy Carvin on Twitter here to keep up with lots of good stuff from the world of NPR social media. (And, as always, you can follow Monkey See here).

iStockphoto.com

 

by Linda Holmes

While perusing the credits for the upcoming G-Force (sometimes when there's no big breaking news, I like to read up on who's appearing in the next CGI movie about anthropomorphized guinea pigs), I was struck by a particular actor's resumé and the many colorful characters he has played -- or at least the many colorfully named characters he has played.

So here's the quiz -- and you may have played something similar before. We're certainly not the first to fasten on the idea in the age of The Internet Movie Database, without which it would not be possible.

Each question is a list of characters that have been played by a particular actor. You name the actor, and for bonus points, see how many of the movies you can name. (Note: Some may be voice credits.)

1. Smokey, Amos Odell, Seth, Jacob Marley, Speckles

2. Goon, King Koopa, Deacon, Feck, Billy

3. Amanda, Marla Singer, Elizabeth, Lucy Honeychurch, Jane Hatchard

4. David, Adam Sorenson, Andy, Josh, Brian Fantana

5. Paulette, American Designer, Sherri Ann Cabot, Amber Cole, Stifler's Mom

6. Billy, Stefen Djordjevic, Vincent, Jack, Cadet Captain David Shawn

7. Miss Jane Porter (voice), Iris Gaines, Gertrude, Gutless, Vice President Kathryn Bennett

8. Dink The Clown, Robbie, Henry Roth, Michael Newman, Barry Egan

9. Stephanie Zinone, Brenda Landers, Sukie Ridgemont, Lurene Hallett, Beth Cappadora

10. Craig, Judge Leonard White, Detective Lt. William Somerset, President Beck, God

Check your answers, after the jump...

Continue reading "Can You Name These Actors Based On Characters They've Played?" >

News aggregators: Sure, they can bring you the singular stories, but who can't? iStockphoto.com

 

by Linton Weeks

Okay. Two can play this game. Or two hundred. News aggregators such as Yahoo! News and AOL News are dining out on work done by the main -- and the not-so-main -- stream media.

But we know weird, fascinating, uncommon and outlandish stories when we see them. You do, too. The problem, of course, is finding them in the cacophony of the Web.

Now, in addition to up-to-the-minute news of the universe, analysis of everything from cradles to graves, cultural explorations around the globe and just about anything else you can think of, NPR presents Seven Singular News Stories of the Week.

See you later, aggregator.

1) Former KKK grand wizard and presidential candidate David Duke is now a bird photographer in Austria.

2) For the first time ever, women participate in a truck-tugging competition in Israel. (video)

3) In Saudi Arabia, men and women are not allowed to mingle in public, which can make shopping for lingerie a little strange (audio)

4) Two New York Times journalists investigate pot pies (video)

5) Forget speed dating. Air New Zealand launches an air-dating venture dubbed "love at first flight"

6) A green tree frog receives emergency life-saving surgery

7) The Top 10 Misquoted Movie Lines

by Linda Holmes

Above is the video in which the ubiquitous Miley Cyrus and friends "teach you" how to do her new dance, the Hoedown Throwdown, which forms the centerpiece of her new movie, Hannah Montana: The Movie.

Normally, you could not get my attention with a Miley Cyrus instructional dance video even if there were fireworks and margaritas included, but I have to say, this one caught my interest. Why? Because it is absurdly complicated. This dance you are supposed to pick up from YouTube consists of a series of nineteen distinct moves, performed in sequence, and at no time during the "lesson" do they remind you of the sequence. I'm sorry, Miley Cyrus, but you will not start a "dance craze" trying to get people to learn a series of nineteen moves.

Here's the thing: When it comes to dancing, as a culture forced to occasionally operate in groups, we are stupid. Individually, we may be brilliant, but what do we do at weddings?

What we do at weddings, after the jump...

Continue reading "How Does The 'Hoedown Throwdown' Compare To Other Preposterous Group Dances?" >

No ordinary aerobics class: Faux-stripping for fun and fitness is probably infiltrating your gym as we speak.iStockphoto.com

 

by Elizabeth Nelson

I always believed that stripping was a rarefied skill set practiced only by those individuals who ply what we old-timers used to call the "sex trade." Then in the early 2000s came Carmen Electra, flush with another of her bold, Edison-like innovations: in a series of videos, she combined stripping with aerobics to create the ultimate in low-impact workouts for the vamp in you.

At my gym, an enormous raft of empirical evidence attests to the ascendancy of this phenomenon. Long lines, bright lights, big beats, short shorts and a general atmosphere of pandemonium permeate the premises every night that these classes are offered. It's a frustrating predicament, because I like dignity, but I also like things that are popular. What to do?

The uncomfortable idea of appropriating stripping to improve your abs, after the jump...

Continue reading "Fitness And The Pole" >