In This Together
“Maybe I owe the most to those with whom I have conversations where cancer never comes up. That may be their greatest gift to me.”
A woman named Kathryn recently wrote in. She lost her partner, father and brother to cancer. And she said a couple of things that are well worth sharing. I've written before that I don't feel pressure to go climb Mt. Everest or anything like that. I just want to enjoy life — normal life — with its ups and downs. And the key to that is my friends. I can't thank them enough for all that they have done for me since I was diagnosed. And maybe I owe the most to those with whom I have conversations where cancer never comes up. That may be their greatest gift to me.
Kathryn and many others of you have come to realize the same thing. She wrote:
"I've also come to realize how much my enjoyment of leisure activities was really in the company I kept, not the activity itself."
I also want to thank all of my friends for being patient with me — they may not even realize they are. "How are you feeling?" "How about now?" "You still OK?" Those are the obvious questions. We get them a lot. There are really no other questions to ask. But sometimes that just gets so annoying. I get frustrated with them sometimes and I know that I show it, even though I try not to.
I have to stop and remind myself that those questions are the right ones and that they are asking out of genuine concern. Because they feel helpless. There's not a lot more they can do. And sometimes that desire and that need to help can be overpowering. Again, I want to quote Kathryn's e-mail and the message she wanted to send to all of us who have this disease:
"Please let your loved ones help you and don't feel guilty when they do. We cannot take away this disease, so let us do what we can to help enhance the quality of your lives, and by doing so, enhance ours."
So, to all of my friends and to all of you out there who are fighting this disease along with your loved ones, thank you. Like it or not, we're all in this together.
6:24 AM ET | 07-17-2006 | permalink
