The Things I've Learned
“I've learned that a prognosis is just a number, and it doesn't have my name on it.”
It's the little things that you have to learn. When I used to go into dangerous places, I'd always count the number of stairs. That way, if the power went out, I could still get out fast and in the dark without feeling for each step. I learned that powdered Gatorade would pretty much get you through dysentery, that you can live on tuna and peanut butter, and that a good driver is worth his weight in gold.
I don't need those skills these days. But I do need new ones. On days when the chemo really cuts down on my wind power, I need to remember which way to walk to work to avoid the big hills. I have learned to try to schedule everything a little later in the morning, to give me time to get over the nausea. I've learned how to rotate the veins they use for injections. I've learned that if I eat before I take the pills, and then just save a couple of bites for after the pills, they go down easier.
I've learned that on those days when I do feel really badly, that's OK; sometimes you just can't fight it. I've learned that when I'm feeling sorry for myself, I have to remind myself that there are many out there fighting much tougher battles. I've learned that a prognosis is just a number, and it doesn't have my name on it.
I've learned that there are things I can do and things I can't do and things where I just have to try a little harder.
Now, old habits do die hard. I do know how many steps there are in my house. And that comes in handy when I head down to the refrigerator in the middle of the night.
But most importantly, from all of you, I've learned that I am not alone, and that I can still make a difference.
6:32 AM ET | 08-17-2006 | permalink


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