Leroy, you are so right about that. Some of my friends have had trials that are tragic and devastating during my "season of cancer". One has had her house flooded three times in less than two years in an area that hadnt flooded severely in fifty years. One friend, twenty-one year old nephew, is in a coma after an unexplained accident where his car became airborne and went down a ravine. A sister in law was diagnosed with colon cancer. One friend?s mother, brother-in-law and father died all in the space of a year. Life happens. Some of it is mundane, even with cancer, and some of it is tragic and unimaginable. None of us go through life unscathed, but the blessings come in the grace of friendship that lifts us up, and consoles us through these times.

I?ve always explained the need for accepting help and love from others to my patients this way: life is a circle, sometimes youre extending love and help to others, and sometimes you need to be accepting it. If we can?t do both, our lives are out of balance, and if were not accepting it, then were denying our friends and families the feelings of self worth, and extending themselves that one gets when caring for others.

Your plea to let you continue to be a friend in spite of your illness is a plea to keep that circle moving.

Sent by Nancy K. Clark | 8:29 AM ET | 08-16-2006

As a Chaplain for Hospice, I live and work with those dying of cancer. I deeply appreciate your Podcast— it is honest, straight forward, and unassuming. Learning about dying teaches us to live, which is why I wish everyone could follow your updates.

Sent by Joe Walker | 9:32 AM ET | 08-16-2006

I hope many friends and caregivers are able to digest your comments. "Life goes on" is a statement that I pondered during cancer treatment. Cancer does not minimize other peoples? problems— if anything, it makes us more sensitive to others because of the concern and love others show. We pay closer attention to the feelings expressed by others and realize that we can help by being a good mother, wife, sister, and friend. Luckily, most of the time just listening is the key and that doesn?t take too much energy.

Sent by Judy Van Lishout | 11:06 AM ET | 08-16-2006

I have a friend terminally ill with liver disease. I find myself not calling her because I am struggling with a bout of depression and did not want to burden her. I sometimes forget what a friend can do, I remembered when I finally called and explained why I had not called in several days. She said the same thing, she is my friend and I should not treat her differently just because of her illness. It?s good to know I have her to share my highs and my lows.

Sent by Karen Bechtol | 12:46 PM ET | 08-16-2006

As a parent of a cancer kid this is one thing that I have noticed as well. The friends I treasure the most are the ones who will call me up and talk about their life and not apologize for their "petty" issues. In fact, I like hearing their problems and even helping them problem solve. It beats always thinking and talking about my child's poor prognosis.

Sent by Susan | 5:33 PM ET | 08-16-2006

Sometimes, I do feel like other people?s problems pale in comparison to my own (metastisized breast cancer to my liver and bones)... but secretly of course.

I hope my situation is an opportunity for some to realize that their troubles that day are surmountable, but I agree that they still have the right to feel whatever they want to... and express the need to complain if they need an ear.

Yes, it would be nice to be just a "friend" again.

That would be normal, something I never feel anymore.

Sent by Sharon Pierotti | 11:21 AM ET | 08-17-2006

I really appreciate what you have said today. I have also said those words to my friends. My husband has cancer too and his prognosis is uncertain. We have gone through this journey for two and a half years so far. Many of my friends apologize to me when they start to share their personal issues and problems with me. I asked them to please share with me because it makes me feel "normal". I want to be able to possibly help or give advice because I too want to be a friend who gives as well as receives. Thank you for making that message clear.

Sent by Val Martinson | 11:23 AM ET | 08-17-2006

I am a research student from Shanghai Cancer Hospital. So moved by your volar of fighting against cancer and your attitude of life. I?ll be your faithful reader. Best wishes to you.

Sent by Wang Xin | 11:24 AM ET | 08-17-2006

I am a research student from Shanghai Cancer Hospital. So moved by your volar of fighting against cancer and your attitude of life. I?ll be your faithful reader. Best wishes to you.

Sent by Cindra | 11:25 AM ET | 08-17-2006

This is a lovely blog series and very valuable to those going through a disease or supporting someone who is. Thank you!

I have also enjoyed reading some of Deepak Chopra?s blog on health, recovery and wellness.

Sent by Paul Mitchell | 11:32 AM ET | 08-17-2006

Your thoughts on what you?re going through were brought to my attention by my oncology nurse at Presby Hospital in Dallas. When I go in every two weeks for my a— whipping, I catch up on your world since he keeps all your entries in a notebook. I have Stage IV colorectal cancer that met to my liver and 5 months of chemo left. But currently Im clean as a whistle according to my latest cat scans. Reading your words helps me think issues through a little better, seeing how you handle certain situations that all cancer patients go through. If you?re interested, visit my world.

Your words inspire. I'm fighting with you so lets give em hell! What do you say we go surfing when we completely annihilate this cancer thing. I haven?t surfed in twenty years, but that?s the first thing I want to do when I kick this. You in? Never give up! I?ll be watching your progress.

All the best.

Sent by Greg Johnson | 11:37 AM ET | 08-17-2006

Hi, Leroy,

Thanks for all your inspiring words!

I have some friends and some in-laws who keep refering to me as "poor Eunice," as I've been dealing with melanoma for two and a half years, with a lot of treatments and hospitalizations. I've learned to do a quick check to see if I'm looking lousy or something when they say this, but generally have felt just fine when they hit me with those words. Compounded with this is that my husband was diagnosed with MS last spring and we've been dealing with those doctors, medicines, pt, ot and such as well. I try to counter the "poor" comments right off the bat with a gentle "things are going well today," talking about I feel good, the weathers great and the like. I don't brush them off, but sure don't need their feeling sorry for me or losing their friendship!

Sent by Eunice | 5:38 PM ET | 08-17-2006

Allow us be a friend as well... this rings true for me— very well put. Thank you.

And, I told a friend who caught herself complaining to me about some terrible, chronic arthritis pain, as she said: "Oh I shouldn?t be complaining to you Nancy — you have cancer to deal with, you feel so much worse than I do.?

I caught myself saying to her: "That?s not even logical... by that same token I have absolutely no right to complain about cancer or doing chemotherapy to my neighbor who has MS, because she is daily dealing (from a wheelchair) with an ENTIRE body that wont work for her and causes her pain.?

The unspoken rule that you can?t complain to anyone who is "worse off than you" implies that we can figure that out! I have friends who suffer from clinical depression who probably suffer more deeply day in and day out than I can even imagine. But who is counting... we all need friends and as you said we all need to be allowed to BE a friend.

Sent by Nancy Oliveri | 8:31 AM ET | 08-18-2006

I appreciate your comments. I totally agree that my ovarian cancer doesn?t diminish others? problems. I want to remain a part of the world as long as I?m here, and you couldn?t have said it better. Thanks.

Sent by Juanita Helms | 8:32 AM ET | 08-18-2006

Again thank you for your bravery and heart. Yes, my partner is also fighting cancer, and we have experienced a major increase in the frequency and sincerety of communication from our friends. We are luckier than we knew and cherish every contact. We will send today?s posting to our friends in celebration of you, thanking them for their support.

Sent by Ron/Gordon | 8:34 AM ET | 08-18-2006